My Daughter's Marriage Diaries : Part 2 : How did we get customized sarees for all events of the wedding?

 CREATIVITY

SUPPORTING A DYING ART

WEAVING DREAMS

GOING TRADITIONAL

CREATING UNIQUE MASTERPIECES

Trust me, the choices are too many for this age saree wearers!!!  At the same time, there is so much of confusion on authenticity of the fabric, too many designs and too many quick machine made material.   

One side, the traditional weaving on the "thari" - hand weaving machine is getting hard hit due to the lack of right labour with the age-old expertise and finesse.  At the same handwoven sarees have become super-expensive due to the lack of right raw material, increasing cost of threads, gold and silver used and labour cost.  The unexpected climatic conditions add to their woes.  No traditional weavers are living in riches and the art is struggling to sustain.   

My daughter being a graduate from a Fashion school that was part of preserving the traditional crafts and arts, was keen on supporting weavers for her wedding.  She was also adamant that every saree should be hand-woven, supporting the weavers and we do not bargain with them.   

We did not listen to her for the engagement and she made us atleast visit 12 shops in Chennai before selecting her kanchivaram for the engagement.  We spent multiple errands to Kanakavalli, Nalli, Kumaran, Tulsi Silks, Vara Mahalakshmi, Palam Silks, Sreenivasa,  RMKV, Pothys, and finally chose the one for engagement from T.Nagar Sundari Silks.   Her mother-in-law and she had all the enthusiasm in the world for this saree-hopping, but I got exhausted!  I am not a person who spends too much of time shopping.  So this experience was kind of drilling for me!  But I enjoyed their enthu!!!  Outcome was a beautiful traditional pink-purple saree which looked beautiful on her!   Alas!  One part done!!!

The biggest saga of sarees started after we finalized the wedding.  Trust me I wasn't ready for another running around the city.  Thankfully her dear professors in NIFT suggested super good weavers from Kanchipuram and in the annual craft-mela, she met few weavers, spoke to them, saw their process first hand and short listed couple of them.  

First week of April, she asked both the mothers, if we would like to join her to Kanchipuram.  Both of us had work, but the curiosity made me take a day off and join her, and I pulled my sister-in-law along for support,

We didn't know that Friday was the day, the TTDC Thayar Temple (Mahalakshmi Temple in T.Nagar) was having its kubabishekam (Opening Ceremony) and we crossed the bridge as we heard the loud temple bells.   It started pouring that day. (Genuine weavers would only meet on Fridays for discussing on the wedding sarees I guess) .  We felt the rain as the divine blessings in the hot summer!

That day, we met the weavers (very senior weaver and his son who is now managing the business) and they showed us the whole process.  They showed us the prints and designs (paper-back) which were more than 100 years old.  The manual labour involved was super intense and the quality of the threads were top-notch.   The color-schemes were mind-blowing! It was truly a different world that I had no knowledge of!

Following week, we had her in-laws joining us and we went to Kanchi Kamakshi temple and then to the weavers.  This time, the weavers helped us see the threads,  the silks that would be used, and many more additional color palettes.   Her in-laws were also super happy to see the process despite the fact that this would be expensive and time-consuming.   Good things come to those who know to wait!!

Thankfully, the young couple were sure of the colors they want for the wedding.   The traditional araku (Red- brown) colour for wedding saree was confirmed.  My daughter wanted to design her own saree.   She took pictures of the designs she liked with peacocks,  elephants, flowers, kolams etc.   She wanted to use the same thought process and created her unique designs.    I wanted to recreate the saree my mother gifted for my wedding.  A beautiful traditional green with araku border.   She was up for it and gift from the parents home.  

Then came the big one.  The Reception dress!  We mothers were surprised when she said, that she wanted to go traditional for the reception, again in her favorite kanchivaram!   This time she was having her inspiration story board.   Celluloid worlds divas Rekha and Sumalatha who dorned in Gold emblazed sarees earlier.  The bride wanted a pure silk (60 counts silk) in Gold and she choose couple of threads for dyeing.   Weaver cautioned her saying that the color she has in mind and the actual color of the saree would have differences and they are going to dye the threads and it depends on the combinations.   She was game for it!   I started getting nervous.  I don't her to refuse taking the saree after weaving if it does not match her story board!    As expected the saree after 8 weeks of weaving came up differently!!!!   But thankfully, it exceeded her expectations!!!!   I thanked God for the saree was not only expensive but it involved intense labor of 3 weavers for 8 odd weeks.   How relieved I was!!!

I was super excited to order few more sarees, in pink with violet border,  green with red border, half-white with pink border for me and my sisters and sister-in-law.    The weaver initially screwed up the white one and had to redo the work (she doesn't settle for anything less in quality)  Similarly, we ordered one yellow one in Mat format (Pai madi) and it also wasn't as we expected but we accepted it as it was purely customized and he can't sell outside.  So challenges in sarees were all part of the wedding gallata. 

Same time, weavers helped us to pick plenty of machine made sarees from the market, wholesalers, top rated shops in Kanchipuram for most of my extended family, close relatives and friends and also silk vesties for men.  They came along with us and patiently explained what is best in the budgets we wanted.  They ensured, that we get good quality one's from the market.   They hinted us what not to pick at every stage of buying.   We did at-least 6 to 7 times errands to Kanchipuram,  spent hours of time to ensure, all our clan are dressed up beautifully for the wedding.   RMKV and Ramraj Cottons was our go to place for men's wear and they customized most of our requirements.   

Thankfully, our efforts turned into super duper colourful wedding.  Everyone looked in their best.  Especially the bride and groom and their galaxy of friends!   

Some one asked me, why I spent so much! I replied that it is my way of thanking all those who helped us travel from zero to this far.  In was in fact, I took this as an opportunity and a moment of gratitude especially  to my dad and mom's siblings, cousins for they helped my mother sail through 3 of our weddings single handedly.  Several of my friends stood with me for ages when I could have just withered away.  I wanted all of them to be part of our 'pandaga' (festival of joy).   We started this gifting of sarees with our important family deities and I am sure they showered their blessings on all.  

Thank you Mom and Dad for watching over us!  I hope we made you happy in heavens!   We need all your blessings !!!

This is our story,  Our Sarees Story!!!

My Daughter's Marriage Diaries : Part 1 : How it feels to be a mother of the bride?

 OVERWHELMING

BLESSING

TIRING

MISSING

THANKING

Every mother, wishes that her children should be happy, healthy and successful.  I am no different.  I used to always tell my daughter Aishwarya that her wedding is my "Pandaga", a festival.   Exactly,  I wanted to enjoy every moment of this festival.  

Right from planning, organizing and executing it to the core.  This planning started right from the time she started to blossom as a teen.   

I had to envision differently from what my mother did for her 3 daughters.  

My mother always looked it as her duty to 'sale' her daughters.  She was consciously doing every thing in her means to protect us, shield us from falling in love :-) ,  ensure we tightly close the doors and windows of our house in her absence and strict no-no to boys coming home or being friends to us even though we were in co-education.  

My mother's world was in a different generation.  Different thought process and different sentiments and social stigma of a widow raising her three daughters alone and her belief that no one should say anything wrong about her or our characters.  We were protected, planned, and married off as she wanted - all three arranged marriages and she pulling it off with her own way managing finances, time, efforts and everything in her single government salary.  Kudos and salute to my mom, before I begin writing about my journey as the bride's mother.

As a mother, we have certain instincts that we get to feel and if we don't give importance to those signals, we may miss out many things.  Mothers need to be great observers and I was no different.  I kept watching my child, her mood swings, her tantrums, her asks,  her joys and her worries.   I don't need to deeply analyze, but I can easily guess what she is going through.  Many times, she speaks about it.  Sometimes, she leaves me to my own guesses.  As this journey of the bride, she did let me have more guesses and many more guesses as we neared the date!

On the day of Sangeet, (Sangeet was superbly organized by friends of Aishwarya and Vedesh, my son-in-law) 18 Aug 2023 Friday, evening at Alumni Club, I was surprisingly invited by the MC of the evening to speak about Aishwarya.   I am a public speaker,  but that evening, as I took the mike, I could not speak. I choked up.  Tears started to flow without any second thought.  It was overwhelming.  All I said, was that I love her.  Audience went silent for few minutes and amidst the dance, songs, and loud music and lights, she started silently crying for few minutes.   Few mothers from the audience, especially Vedesh's paternal aunt came and hugged me.  I cried. I cried non-stop till my fabulous four friends gang came and gave me their gyan to stop being a spoiler of the evening.  They made me laugh again and firm up!

From that moment, I became/ behaved like an eagle.  Watching over everything that is happening under the sky.   Ensuring that everything is in place, there are no hiccups to the event anywhere, there is no stopping for money, no lack of people to support, despite the fact that I was internally super nervous.   I started behaving like a swan whose legs were fluttering in the water but stay still on the top.  

Thanks to my daughter's friend Srivats who gave me the title "Social Butterfly"...I could see the response to our invitations.  Despite of the long distance of the Dakshin Chitra venue in ECR and the unexpected rains lashing Chennai on and off,  everyone acknowledged us and graced the occasions.  We are truly blessed to have this acceptance and love of the people in our lives.   That also meant we take care of the logistics.  

One side, the biggest change in my life is happening.  To many, it would have been just a daughter's wedding.  To me, it meant, first time in 25 years, becoming a silo crusader again.  My daughter stood with me through all the ups and downs, like a rock.  She had to take up responsibilities over and above her age since her childhood, to make a decent life.   

People who insensitively said that we as family would not survive, our marriage would not sail through,  the social stigma of schizophrenia striking its worst cords on my husband, we raising together and ensuring he is a great dad, a wonderful husband was not an easy journey.    The biggest moment of happiness for all three of us was when inadvertently the pujari (priest) asking if we can have the bride in her dad's lap and do the wedding.  HE SAID YES.   Hola,  it just happened.  What a moment of pride for us.  What a moment of victory against the social stigmas.  What a moment of joy that we would cherish.  Every struggle vanished with that glorious moment.   He may not have earned riches, but he earned that wonderful respect.  

Moment of love, affection and respect!

Mom and daughter love breaking stereotypes.  I felt fairly surprised when my daughter wanted to tie the mangal sutra to her bridegroom and the groom was also ok to it.  However, the elders in the homes on both sides weren't ok for this and they felt it is not the moment to make their wedding a spectacle.   I felt disappointed personally as my daughter's wish to break this stereotype didn't happen.  However, there are many ways to show equality in a relationship than in this age old ritual.   I felt anxious to the whole conversations surrounding this and had to agree with the majority in the family.  MOMENTS OF ANXIETY don't stop you see!

Aishwarya as a bride did most of the planning with her bridegroom.  They took the lead in selecting the vendors, choosing the menu, weaving up their attires,  planning the events and lot more.  The Project Manager in me dwelled in pride and happiness that our children are independent to take decisions and also being accountable for that.  That they can plan, decide, check and act accordingly.  What else a mother would want?

My sisters pointed out that first time, a bride in the family is enjoying her wedding than being anxious or in fear.  Yes, that is because she knows her man, his family, her future together.  She is confident in her choices and actions.   She is self-made young woman with multiple talents and hard-work.  At 25, she has 4 films to her credit, several projects and a good career as a senior designer.  

End of the day, our society sees success by where we are in our career and growth trajectory.   She is the 4th generation independent, self-reliant woman in the family,  taking over a balanced path of career and family life with support of her family and friends.  The MOTHER MONSTER in me is TRULY HAPPY that my daughter will still focus on her career, achievements and passion and have a solid work-life balance.  It is not easy. Yet POSSIBLE!

With spondylitis and infections hitting her a month before her wedding, I was super worried.  Thankfully, the intervention of the right medical help, thanks to all family and friends who suggested and directed us to right medical care, she was able to handle herself throughout the wedding.   It is equally important to have good health along with happiness.  Thanks to her mother-in-law who stood by her patiently and giving her the mental strength to regain her health, supporting her with simple living and high thinking ideologies,  suggesting good eating and sleeping habits,  Aishwarya took all this with respect and gratitude to her and all well-wishers.   

After the 3 years of pushing the children to agree for marriage, after almost 6 months of intense planning and 6 weeks of extended family and friends around us,  the 3 days festival went well.  The rains god's came down to bless us and interrupt us for a while,  disturbing few of our guests commuting and dinner, but few hiccups are unplanned and unexpected. We truly wished the rains didn't pour during reception. Sorry to all those who struggled in rain! for us!

The moments of surprise, the moments of fear,  the moments of anxiety came to an end as our daughter embarked on her new journey as a New Bride into a new household.   The household that welcomed her with love, respect and affection.   

So if you are planning for your daughter to getting married,  just go with the flow.  Feel every odd feeling that comes on its way.  Enjoy the moments.   Be prepared for the empty nest syndrome.  Make friends and regain your hobbies, so that you refill your plate even before you realize it is going to be empty.   Be planned for the big day, both financially, mentally and physically.   Keep yourself at reach, for her comfort and strength.  Don't push yourself and your left overs of life on her.   Don't try to live her life.   Let her make her own a  much beautiful garden filled with love, care and wisdom!

I loved being the mother of the bride!  Thank you Almighty, the Universe and all my family and friends, well-wishers and associates who made this festival a grand success!    Love Ya' All.

Visit to UNESCO Heritage Site : Mamalapuram- Sculptures of Mahabalipuram - July 2023

 Mahabalipuram, also known as Mamallapuram, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site located on the Coromandel Coast of Tamil Nadu, India. It is renowned for its ancient rock-cut temples, monolithic sculptures, and historical monuments. Here are some prominent places to visit in Mahabalipuram:

1. Shore Temple:

• This ancient temple is located on the shores of the Bay of Bengal and is dedicated to Lord Shiva. It is one of the oldest structural stone temples in South India and is known for its intricate carvings.
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4. Arjuna's Penance (Descent of the Ganges):

• This massive rock relief, also known as the Descent of the Ganges, depicts scenes from the Mahabharata and Hindu mythology. The intricate carvings cover two large boulders.
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6. Pancha Rathas (Five Rathas):

   • These monolithic rock-cut temples are named after the Pandavas and Draupadi from the Mahabharata. Each Rath (chariot) is carved from a single granite rock.

7. Varaha Cave Temple:

• The Varaha Cave Temple is known for its exquisite rock-cut architecture. The temple is dedicated to Lord Vishnu and features carvings of various incarnations of Vishnu.
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11. Krishna's Butter Ball:

• This is a massive, naturally balanced rock boulder that seems to defy gravity. It is named after Lord Krishna's love for butter.
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    Mahishasura Mardini Cave:
13. • This cave temple is famous for its depiction of Goddess Durga slaying the demon Mahishasura. The carvings narrate the story of the battle between the goddess and the demon.

14. Tiger Cave:

• Situated a short distance from Mahabalipuram, the Tiger Cave is a rock-cut shrine with carvings of tigers and elephants. It is believed to be a Mahendravarman I memorial.
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16. Thirukadalmallai (Sthalasayana Perumal Temple):

    • This ancient temple is dedicated to Lord Vishnu in the form of Sthalasayana Perumal. The temple is adorned with intricate carvings and sculptures.

17. Mahabalipuram Beach:

    • Relax and unwind at the Mahabalipuram Beach. The beach offers beautiful views of the Bay of Bengal, and you can enjoy water activities and explore the local fisherman's life.

18. Mahabalipuram is a treasure trove of ancient art and architecture, making it a must-visit destination for history enthusiasts, art lovers, and spiritual seekers.

Expert Explains Causes, Signs, And Preventive Measures Of Aneurysms

 Dr Amit Gupta, Principal Consultant - Neurosurgery, Neurosciences, Spine Surgery, Max Super Speciality Hospital, Shalimar Bagh explains causes, preventive measures, early signs, and treatment for aneurysms. 

What Are Aneurysms? 

Dr Gupta explains, “Aneurysms are a potentially life-threatening condition that affects the blood vessels, specifically the weakening and ballooning of the vessel walls. They can occur in various parts of the body, but the most common type is cerebral aneurysm, which affects the blood vessels in the brain. It is crucial to raise awareness about aneurysms, their causes, treatment options, and preventive measures to promote early detection and better outcomes.”

Causes Of Aneurysms

Dr Gupta shares that aneurysms can be caused by multiple factors, including genetic predisposition, high blood pressure, smoking, and certain medical conditions such as connective tissue disorders. Family history and age also play a role, with the risk increasing as individuals get older. Additionally, trauma or injury to blood vessels can contribute to the formation of an aneurysm.

Treatment Of Aneurysms

Dr Gupta shares, “The treatment approach for aneurysms depends on factors such as the size, location, and overall health of the patient. Small, stable aneurysms may be managed through regular monitoring and lifestyle modifications. However, larger or ruptured aneurysms often require immediate medical intervention. Surgical procedures, such as clipping or coiling, aim to repair or reinforce the weakened blood vessel to prevent further complications.”

Preventive Measures Of Aneurysms

Dr Gupta explains, “While not all aneurysms can be prevented, certain lifestyle changes can help reduce the risk and improve overall vascular health. Managing blood pressure through regular monitoring, maintaining a healthy diet low in sodium and saturated fats, and avoiding tobacco and excessive alcohol consumption are essential preventive measures. Regular exercise, stress reduction techniques, and managing underlying medical conditions can also contribute to reducing the risk of aneurysm development.”

Awareness And Early Detection

Dr Gupta shares, “Raising awareness about aneurysms is vital to encourage early detection and prompt medical intervention. Individuals with a family history of aneurysms should consider genetic testing and consult with healthcare professionals for preventive strategies. Educating the public about the signs and symptoms of aneurysms, such as severe headaches, vision problems, and neck pain, can help prompt timely medical attention and potentially prevent rupture.”

As per Dr Gupta, aneurysms pose a significant health risk, particularly when left untreated or undetected. Understanding the causes, treatment options, and preventive measures is crucial for individuals to take proactive steps toward maintaining vascular health. Early detection through regular medical check-ups and adopting a healthy lifestyle are key factors in reducing the risk and improving outcomes. By spreading awareness and knowledge, we can help save lives and enhance the well-being of our communities.

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On a personal note, as a person affected with complete occlusion in the Left Middle Cerebral Artery and also a minor aneurysm, I wanted to spread awareness on this and keep this article as my reference.  

Reference of the Original article: Joesthetics Death: Expert Explains Causes, Signs, And Preventive Measures Of Aneurysms (msn.com)

Essential Tips for Driving a Car at Night

 

Ensure Proper Vehicle Lighting: Adequate lighting is crucial for safe night time driving. Regularly check and maintain your vehicle's headlights, taillights and turn signals. Clean the lenses regularly to remove dirt and debris that can reduce their effectiveness. Adjust Your Speed: Reduced visibility at night necessitates adjusting your driving speed. Reduce your speed and increase your following distance to provide more time to react to any potential hazards. It takes longer to stop at night due to limited visibility, so avoid tailgating and maintain a safe distance from the vehicle ahead. Use High Beams Appropriately: High beams are designed to provide maximum visibility, but they can also blind other drivers. Use them judiciously and switch to low beams whenever you encounter oncoming traffic or approach a vehicle from behind. Be courteous and dim your lights when approaching or passing pedestrians, cyclists, or parked vehicles to avoid impairing their vision. Minimize Distractions: Driving at night requires your full attention, so minimize distractions that can divert your focus from the road. Put away any electronic devices and avoid engaging in activities that can take your eyes off the road or occupy your hands. Adjust your car's controls and climate settings before you start driving, minimizing the need for adjustments while on the road. Combat Fatigue: Night time driving can be tiring, increasing the risk of drowsiness and fatigue. Get plenty of rest before embarking on a long night time drive and take regular breaks to stretch, refresh yourself and stay alert. If you experience signs of drowsiness, such as frequent yawning, heavy eyelids, or difficulty focusing, find a safe location to pull over and rest until you feel alert again. Stay Aware of Surroundings: Maintaining situational awareness is crucial for safe driving, especially at night. Pay close attention to your surroundings and anticipate potential hazards. Keep an eye out for pedestrians, cyclists, or animals that may be more challenging to spot in the dark. Scan the road ahead and use your peripheral vision to detect any movement or reflective signs. CONTENT POWERED BY www.motorscribes.com

What is virtualization in Computing? And types of Hypervisors and their benefits

 What is virtualization in Computing?

• Basic definition of Virtualization is simulation of Hardware and Software
• Hypervisor allows one machine to run multiple virtual machines
• Discussed types of Hypervisors and their benefits:
• Bare Metal Hypervisor:
• Are Physical servers which are not configured (bare servers)
• Installed on bare metal of server, Hypervisor allows to create multiple virtual machines on same server by splitting the computing resources (RAM, Disk, etc.)
• Most popular amongst the Enterprise Data Center are VMWare ESXi, Citrix XenServer, Microsoft Hyper-V
•  Installed on top of OS:
• These are software based hypervisors that will run on underlying OS. You can install these on your personal computers
• Oracle VM, Microsoft Virtual PC are widely used hypervisors
•  A few Benefits:
• Less resource consumption (electricity, cooling, etc)
• Saves money
• Less maintenance and management
• Portability (VMs on one hypervisor can be moved to another hypervisor)
• Utilize full computing capabilities of underlying hardware
• Disaster Recovery
• How Cloud Providers are setting up infrastructure to provide less latency and high availability services
• Geographies
• Regions within Geography
• Availability Zones within Regions
• Data Centers within Availability Zones
•  Containers:
• In traditional way, each application is hosted on a single server
• With Cloud, you can split your server into multiple VMs and host diffident applications on each VM
• Containers are similar to VMs, however users don’t have to manage OS or Hardware.
• A container can run one application. Application can be deployed as a package which includes all scripts and their dependencies
• Dockers is a major player in providing container services
• Major disadvantage of using containers is that Files must be packaged on same OS where the container is running (e.g. if Container is on Linux, application packages to be developed on Linus OS)
• Serverless Computing:

• With Containers having their own advantages and disadvantages, Serverless Computing give another edge to run your applications independent of OS layer
• With serverless, users will not be responsible for managing the server
• It’s also called as FaaS (Function as a Service)
• A function can be single module in your application (e.g. image resizing, you don’t have to run this module all the time, but only when a user of the application uploads an image)
• Some advantages of Serverless Computing are:
• Pay per execution (As mentioned in the example above, users have to pay when the module is executed). No charges for idle time
• Auto Scalable (e.g. If there huge is traffic because of many users uploading the images,  auto scalability enables the module to run seamlessly)
• Faster time to market (Service providers don’t have to wait for Servers, licenses etc.  instead they can deploy apps on containers)
• Supports Polyglot Languages (User can write code in any language)
• High Availability

 

“ Paayum Oli” - New Drama from production house "thRee" n Chennai Theatre space that is here to stay and make its mark!!!

"All the worlds a stage, we are all players!!!"   Theatre is the lap of Goddess Saraswathi.  The medium is used to educate, create awareness,  bring in talents, spread knowledge and entertain and educate the masses.   

From times immemorial,  the medium of theatre and drama had influenced the thinking of the mankind.  They have injected quite a few deep rooted thoughts that can change the perspectives of various people.    Theatre became a strong force during our freedom struggle.   It was used to motivate, encourage and rage people towards the spirit of independence.   Such is the power of this medium

Of late, theatre has been overtaken by television and OTT platforms.  However,  the passion of the few is what is making this performing art form survive, thrive and succeed.   There are no retakes in Theatre, and the homework have to be perfect.   There is no repeat for dialogues..so the diction, dialogue and language, have to be in sync and as expected.   There is no time for heavy make up or new costumes,  theater artists have to change in fraction of seconds before the next scene.   

It is live audience and you can either get their blessings or brick bats if there are intolerable flaws.   It needs lot of planning, perfect execution,  capturing script, right actors,  acceptable language and above all, a powerful story to glue the audience to the seats.   

When you have all of the above said, to perfection for a full packed audience (who are ardent theater lovers and critics/enthusiasts ) in a big sabha like Naradha Gana Sabha -  You are doing something right!!!  Yes.  That is the exact feeling that I and rest of the audience around me had watching the new kid in the  block "  Paayum Oli"

First Production from "ThRee"  -  Paayum Oli presented by Lavanya and Bhaskar:

My good friend Lavanya Venugopal and M.V. Bhaskar's own Production House "ThRee" came up with their maiden production on 27 April 2023 as part of the Kodai Nataka Villa at NGS.      The audience were enthralled to watch on stage,  Bhaskar, Lavanya, Sukanya, Subbu,  Jayanthi, Paramesh, Naren and Arjun.   

The entire play set in 2 households, was brilliantly executed with the support of Lights by Babu and Yogesh.   Though there is one constant set,  Set Shanmugam has proved that less is more, with the perfect setting of the living rooms.    As the play move from one scene to the other, you see a flaw less execution with the amazing backstage support by Arjun, Thendral, Vicky and Madhukar.     There is one poster for the play.  A rather powerful one created Disney and Monisha.   The music by Daskhin and songs sung by R. Gayathri and Dakshin add to the captivating moments of the play.   The lyrics of Mahakavi Bharathy was put to the right and great use.  

The man behind this master-blaster is none other than V. Sreevathson who wrote and directed the script.    The end result can only be nothing but success.   For Sreevathson is the best craftsman and knows his art pretty well.   The dialogues are powerful just like the story.   He knows to extract the best out of every artist.  Especially if you have Lavanya, on stage, what less can you ask for.    She is a director's artist.   She does it with ease, poise and perfection.   You should watch this play without fail to believe what I say here!!!  You will not be disappointed for sure!!!

The Plot -  The Story -  The Message!

In a traditional "Ponnu Pakkara "  Scene - where the groom with his widowed mother visits the girl's house for match making.   Both the families discuss and the girl and boy meet.  However, there comes no spark and the bell does not ring between both of them.    And in a very amicable way, the families communicate that the boy is not interested and the girl's family moves on with the next match finding.     The father and daughter share a very transparent, open and cordial relationship where they share day to day things and also appreciate each other's feelings and emotions.     The widowed mother, however hesitates to be open to her son as the boy has his own emotions to deal with and cannot fathom the loneliness his mother is going through.    The dialogues of the grandmother, keeps the audience in splits and thinking.    She did her role fantastically well and the girl's uncle also does it with ease and elegance.

The artists literally lived in their roles.    Over a period,  girl's father (Shatruganram) and the boy's mother ends up in a phone friendship.   They spend time talking lot of things that interest them from food, lifestyles, belief systems,  flash memories of their spouses and eventually,  a very subtle and beautiful bond builds with them.    This actually creates a sense of anxiety in the boy who is unable to understand the need for a companion for his mother who lost her husband and struggling with loneliness.    He tries to justify asking what the society would think,  what is appropriate and so on.    However, on the girl side,  the father is open and acknowledged the fact that he is in friendship with the boy's mother and would like to take it to the next level.    The family is emphatical and understanding.  

On confrontation,  the mother opens up like a volcano of emotions -  she tries to empathize with her son's questions,  her self-doubts and the need for her companionship.   She pours out on bringing out the fact on her sacrifices and thinking of the society around her.  However,  humanity and self-love is what is above all the societal pressures and she expresses it very deeply and clearly and the boy feels so overwhelmed in not understanding his mother earlier.      Eventually, things get lighter and the bond becomes firm and stronger and the plot ends  with both the families uniting to celebrate her birthday.   There comes a light at the stroke of midnight and this light is there to stay and enlighten the masses!!!

Message:

Truly a heart-warming message.   I have seen the need for the companion when the spouse passes away in middle age and there is so much of life left for the other one.   Society sympathizes with them, define rules that do not belong to them,  create a cob-web around what is right and what is not and the sole victim is the person who lost their life- partner.   No matter what children or families do, there is still a strong emotional vacuum that is left unfulfilled in many people who struggle with loneliness.     

These kind of drama's with messages of social-reforms are needed even today.   It was some decades ago that social reformers like Raja Ram Mohan Roy advocated widow remarriages and brought in abolition of sati and created reforms for new lease of life for widows.   It is more worst when a man remains single after losing his wife.  The trouble is actually multiplied.   

This is when the society need to understand that we are no body to define the rules for others and let every one live the way that actually makes them happy and be at peace.  Especially children who are self-centered these days need consideration but at the same need not slay down the lives only for them.  It is ok to live what makes us happy.  It is ok to find love again.   It is ok to get into a relationship again.   It is actually ok to remarry if that is the need.  It is ok to find a companion and stay sane in life than struggle in depression and vacuum.      This drama definitely makes it clear and says it loud.    This is the kind of reformical thought provoking messages we need.    Paayum Oli proudly bring out this message to the masses and that is the beautiful reason why this drama is a hit and will be a running success!!!

Kudos to the entire cast and crew and my special thanks to Lavanya Venugopal for extending the invitation for me to watch and cherish this play.    Wishing the team great success on their future endeavors.    God bless!