Suicide Story Calling for Hope and Help

Expression of life with smiles and cheers

The loud laughter’s for such silly jokes

Confidently standing beyond arrogance

False countenance nonchalantly reticence

As I pulled over the mask to show different me

So fake and so conflicting to nonexistent inner glee

Not with intentions to cheat everyone around

But disguising with pretense to one thyself

Murky gorge of reality without an escape

As my skull becomes evil’s warehouse

It is nothing but a curse being titled strong

For the actual struggle hidden all along

Swinging precarious between hope and surrender

Hiding tears and fears battling scary bearers

Consummating the artists within in disguise

Desponding alive in growing stronger 

Unable to eat, sleep, travel or wander

Trying to slip into the little dodging slumber

Absolute frames of absurd thoughts derider

Hugging the lifeless pillow to cry aloud

Of falling into the valley deep into the grounds

Running behind the leaving train

Waking up with a jerk and disdain

Succumbing to the loneliness of the chest

Sweating unusual than on a wilder trek

Where is my inner strength disappear

And the ardent faith ruled over by devils

Cries in cowers laid to rest in corner

The provocation to die chanting over life

Darkness and death looking alluring

Life be uphill struggle and non-fetching

Scared of another day and survival

Everything looked repulse and pointless

Hearing my fore-fathers calling me to the shore

Another life, another time, welcoming to meet

Where is the hope that made life everything?

Heartache, emptiness of the inner soul

Lost merry, life easy, trading my nothing

The curtains are ready to be brought down

The drama of life is ready to sure end

Free from the masks of public appearance

No more delving in pity of others around

Time to put an end to the corrosion of mind

Beyond the layers of wisdom thick to grind

Depression is never seen till it’s too late

Death can seem to be the only solace

Finding the Story of Suicide around,

Look again, think and stop by for a second

Give them a hug, hope and helping hand!

That moment, may bring them back to life again!

Dark is Beautiful- Skin Color is still an issue. Why? (Inspired by the Dark is Beautiful Campaign)

In the darkness of sky, I find the brightest stars!

In the midst of the world, lies the darkest cores!

In the mountains, we find the darkest peaks!

In the depths of oceans, we find the rarest gems!

True....No one got a right in this world, to make you feel that your color of the skin is an issue.  You are beautiful in your own right.   The beauty of heart is more important than the color of the skin.  Everyone  knew this, however the society is still obsessed with fair people.   Fairness of skin is considered wanted, confident and attractive.   Even the darkest people have the beautiful outlook, however this is ignored.  

The shade of our skin takes over the strength of brains and will of our hearts.   Unfortunately, not only in India, but in many parts of the world, the cosmetic market is making, that the fairness is the thing that the world wants...  The advertising business and marketing world, creates a inferiority complex in the minds of not only adults but also children that being fair is important for existence.  What they don't care to understand is that it is hitting hard on the psychology of young minds and making them feel inferior, left behind and introverts in nature.   

Schools and colleges do not encourage dark skinned students to come front on the stage.... Dark skinned talents are pushed to back seat when it comes even for job interviews,  marriage proposals,  or today even adding to your friends list in Facebook.... Every person, is trying to put the best of display picture, Photoshoped and hiding their real self....Why is this crisis?  Why is the stigma still continuing even after having the Presidents of Nations who have darker shades of skin?   

O

Our beloved church in Glendale, where we enjoyed being
accepted and loved without any bias

Looks and appearance matters,  to some extent in the industry like Cinema and Media, however, the same industry saw success stories like Rajnikanth and Nandita Das and we still think talents are only in white skinned people.    Were we not called Brown people from times immemorial.   Why are we so obsessed with the Nations where they have people who are fairer.  In fact in those Nations, the people are trying to have tanned skin,  respecting our people equally and consider us one among them and respecting us for what we are and not for how we look...

Happy my favorites god are all dark!

My story is a classical example of this discrimination.  I was my dad's dearest daughter, as he always wanted me not to feel inferior when the whole world kept commenting that I am the darkest kid in the family....It was in fact, it was him and my class teacher Satyavathi teacher in 7th grade, who made me overcome this complex, and patted on my back and said that I should explore oratory, essay writing and be on stage playing my favorite dramas...However,  my younger sister got to act as angel and I always got the Three men from East, or the cattle, where my face is covered in the dramas.  But those days, I didn't even realize that my skin color was a problem.  I kept winning and it became a habit..and noting bothered me....

Solid Rock Relationship-  nothing comes in between

 As a teen, my mom always had the fear that I may not have a proper marriage proposals as I am short and dark among st our three sisters.   The first pinch of discrimination came in when my mother in law, sighed heavily that she got a dark girl for his handsome son....that was when the reality dawned on my face of adulthood.   I cried.  But it was my husband who stood behind me and said that the goodness of heart is million times better than the fairness of the face.   His statements that I am beautiful,  I have a very artistic features, and so on encouraged me to divert my attention towards positive things and ignore the nonsense comments around...

Happy Family....

When my child was born, I cried.  She was pink bundle of joy.  I could not believe that I can have the fairest baby in the world in my arms.  I thanked God that she will not have to endure the skin color complexes that I had to withstand and kept fighting all my life....

My mentors who encouraged me to be
good professional, no bias faced on my overseas
trips and happy I was just accepted as I am

Today, my thoughts, my achievements and self-contentment of being a blogger, writer, poet and a good professional and above all, being a happy wife, proud mom, sister, and daughter makes me overlook all the issues, I had to face due to my skin color.  

Trust me, I also tried every damn fairness cream in the market expecting overnight results and slowly realized that nothing is going to change by the fake promises made by the cosmetic companies.  

The change has to be within me, on how I look at myself in the mirror everyday. ..I can look and say, I am dark...and feel inferior...or I can take a look, give myself a strong  smile and say, that I am beautiful, both internally and externally.  The beauty is surely lies in the happiness of your mind and the sparkle in your eyes.    It is important how you feel about yourself than how the world feels about you...ultimately the world around you will change to the way you feel....... Beautiful in your own way!

Dealing with Uncertainty

In today's world of chaotic chase between options and varied goals, the factors of uncertainty have become quite certain in every one's life.  Be it professional or personal aspects, today we live in a kind of confusion, anxiety, caution, nervousness and expectations.  In fact,  this uncertainty is the New Normal, it is not a negative aspect of life any more.  Uncertainty means multiple Options.   Certainty limits our scope and actions whereas uncertainty gives us a larger room for choosing anything that would make our lives better, challenging and progressive. 

The first principle of dealing with Uncertainty is understanding the fact that uncertainty gives us multiple directions and enriches our thought process.   Instead of avoiding this fairly certain aspect, it is good to deal with it and excel in managing the varied directions that lay in our front.  This is called as turning adversities into opportunities

Unknown unknowns are not easy and often scary as there is no choice of safety and security in the way we want to deal with things in the most peaceful and consistent way.    This uneasiness will actually limit our potential and finding new opportunities and possibilities.   Instead of worrying where our relationships would take us,  where our careers would lead us and what our friends and neighbours think about us, we need to focus on the things in hand.  This would let us make informed decisions considering all the factors within and outside our line of control.

Windy afternoon at Venice Beach watching the tides and boats

We always end up paying a huge cost for the uncertainty when we don't take calculated risks.  Understanding that taking risks is very much a success factor and also noting that the chances of failure only makes our options of success more stronger and worth the effort will make things easy for us.   Taking risks and failing is always better than not taking any.  This would eventually end all possible successes as well if we don't dare to take new steps in life.

This overwhelming situation has become the norm of life, with the vulnerable global economy, job losses,  corruption,  political unrest, emotional entanglements, and the urge to succeed in everything and anything we do.   A parent worries about a 2 year old getting admission in a school today in India, and a grown up child worries about getting a good college, educated graduate worries about a high paid job,   a professional worries about marriage,  a relationship that would sustain in these days of high tech no time life styles,  a married couple worries about having children, bringing them up in right way being both working professionals,  old people are uncertain which child would support them when they need,  employees are worried about promotions, managers are worried about pie-sharing, companies are worried about competitions, countries are worried about economy and war, and world is worried about global warming, depleting natural resources and oil, unexplored mineral wealth, and fight for the borders.   More the quest for being organized, civilized, and perfect, the world is actually heading towards a bigger chaos and Uncertainty.   So calm down, this is just the phenomenon of the present day life.

Personally, every one of us have various goals and ambitions in life.  These ambitions can be towards being something or achieving everything in life.   We always want to be the one which we are not.  An actor tells that he wanted to be a doctor...a teacher tell that's she wanted to be a lawyer.... a house wife dreams about a career,  a working woman dreams about spending more time with children.... Too many goals and the too many lives that we wish to lead.  Ultimately we have to make choices.  Make one decision at a time that will take us in the direction in which we want to go no matter what is the  end result.   A person who don't expect the end result and travels the road less travelled with courage, wisdom and wishful thinking is the person who succeeds more times than the one who keeps a life time goals and struggles to run all sides.   A step by step move actually eliminates the amount of uncertainty in life to a great extent.

The future is always uncertain and unclear and difficult to see through.   That doesn't mean that we don't need to dream, dare to think, decide to aim and struggle to cross the bridges of fate with poise and will.   It means that we need to take every step with courage and eliminate the fear of uncertainty by taking every move with viewing options on all sides, and keeping the ground felt at every level of decision making to avoid a highly nervous uncertainty.   Taking informed decisions with  level of intelligence will make us walk through the foggy unknowns in life and still be content with the end result with the fact that we have done deliberate decision making taking all factors into consideration.

To fail and to raise every time,  taking new routes towards human development and progress,  and not slowing down when we are pulled back hundred times, but to leap ahead with courage and realign our decisions based on the outcomes as we cross each step in the only way to deal with the uncertainty.  History has taught us that the greatest achievers of mankind are the one's that dealt with the uncertainty and nothing else.    Man would not have landed in space any day had he not taken the risk of going far above the skies where he was not sure if he can ever land somewhere!   So uncertainty is actually not a negative aspect of life any longer, it is a pristine way of telling us to  take right decisions and move in the right direction and go by what our intuition, circumstances and hearts tell us!

Happy Dealing with Uncertainty folks!  I am dealing with one now with the same spirit!