Be Positive - A lesson from South India Positive Network - Respect to Noori Saleem- SIP Memorial Home, Chennai

I always wait in the new year to begin with a very positive post...especially last couple of years started with spiritual posts.  This time, my visit to a temple of positiveness, made me accept this change in the post and really insist my heart in writing on being positive....biggest lesson learn from 'Positive'  children and their leading lights ....

 

These 'Positive' children teach us how to be really positive in life.   Yes, you got it.  The children I am talking about are the HIV Positive children who live in SIP Memorial Home, in Kolathur in Chennai.    When you visit them, you will find smiling faces welcoming you and greeting you the best wishes for the day.  Every day is a challenge but they teach you that challenges are just there to overcome.   Every day is bitter with anitretroviral medicines taken twice to survive...but they show what sweetness in being alive every dawn is.  

I asked them very casually, how they are studying...They smiled and said - super.   Then came my next question inadvertently..What you want to be when you become big?   Most of the children gave a big smile.   One said that she wants to be teacher, other said- a collector, and one boy said that he wants to join Army where as other innocent little kid said he wants to become a police.   

Within a second, I realized what the biggest hope of all of them as they grow-   to be alive.   To be healthy.  To be away from the tentacles of death as long as they can.   

Shame to those who think of suicide as a solution to issues in life. To those who run away from simple problems   Shame to those who blame others for their problems in life.  Shame to those who who fail to take care of their own responsibilities.   It is unfortunate to those who destroy their own lives by getting addicted to smoking, drinking, drugs, laziness, frauds, anger, frustration and ego.   These children though are filled with millions of viruses within eating the hours of their lives and keeping alive with the ART treatment and care and love showed by their light 'Noori'  - who herself is a transgender HIV positive,  have everything positive in them that make us think.

More than books and clothes, their rooms are filled with rows of medicines that keep them away from the physical suffering due to the illness.  Same time, their hearts are filled with gratitude to every single day and every single friend who visits.  All they want is your touch, your smile and your hug to those little one's.  They don't want your sympathy or stigma to be shared.  

Being in the social work for several years, and also having known about them from Thilak, my friend who runs Sevai Karangal, we felt the visit is most wanted as we started the year.  For what the place gave us was a big wide strong message -  BE POSITIVE!

It is destiny that 5000 children in Tamilnadu alone are tested HIV positive, either infected or effected.  However, with the big hearts like Noori and her friends most of these children live in a positive environment trying to lead normal lives.  SIP Homes and the service is a god's way of showing the existence of humanity in the society.  The need for acceptance, the need for love and the need for care are all just the simple wants of these real POSITIVE children!  God bless them.

SIP Home, Chennai

To read more about them, please check the below given references:

1.  http://www.asiantribune.com/node/21679

2.  http://www.amaidhi.nl/en/sip-memorial-home

3. http://www.apachanet.org/inner.php?do=interview_detail&id=149

Happiness is getting to celebrate our son Ajay's birthday with these wonderful children:-)

 

 

Rent My Womb!

She came and she saw my child

Beautiful bundle of joy and kind

Her eyes were green and thoughts gone wild

She snatched her from my arms being unkind

I felt sad that she could not be a mother,

Offered her to help the way I can do better

Promising her tears to go away titter

And let her thoughts not go to wither

What can I do to help her from not being a mother?

Can I give away my precious bundle of joy to share together?

Or can I rent my womb in turn for her joy

And make her also feel the warmth of being a mother

I could see her love for children

And the way she can take care of them in random

Why was God so unkind not to give her, her own?

To spread the happiness and belonging grown

She was just another ordinary woman with all the feelings

Reacting to the sensitivities of the society towards barren ladies

Cried alone and showed fake smiles when she was in a group

Yet, she cursed her destiny and her life that was in a soup

I could feel her sadness and relate to her as a woman

She cried when I said that I would bear her child

Caught my hands and whispered silently in my ears

That she can never feel the child her own when I am around!

Where can I go, from this world afar?

Just because I thought to be kind making her as a mother

To share my space of physical pain for her joy

At the end, I realized I need to say to this thought, a Good Bye!

Giving a child in adoption is not just another solution, having the mind and thought, heart and soul to share whom you have is the boldest thing you could do.  If infertility is an issue, open your hearts to receive the god’s child left alone in this world.  Surrogacy is just a social taboo. If that could solve the problem, go ahead and do it. But just do it on time and with the biological mother’s full will and warmth. Not for money and renting the womb…and let the foster mother shower love and care just like her own. After all, we are a country where we saw Lord Krishna enjoying both Devaki and Yasodha…foster care is not new to this world…where hearts can open to welcome anyone with same happiness and peace!

Is it not time to bridge the gap between to-be-parents and orphans in this world, so that we fill a great joy in the lives of both?   Instead of making infertility an issue,  childless couples lives a misery,  orphans children abandoned in this world,  we need to look beyond our limitations and take the bold steps that are necessary to become a better society, as strong individuals and above all happy self's by doing what our hearts say is right and what our sensible thoughts make us believe we can and move on!


Inspired by Suliaman's Poem: http://sulaimansait.blogspot.in/2013/10/surrogacy-controversy-poem.html

Child Begging Racket- Begging - a existing phenomenon for Child Trafficking, Drug Abuse and Untimely deaths- A Social Menace- A Sad Story!

 

Heart bleeds to see the children hanging on their 'Rented Mothers'  who bang on the car windows, run across the roads chasing bikers, or sit lost in the railways stations and bus stands with children sleeping silently in the laps.   The mothers look equally innocent besides the fact that they are part of a huge child trafficking racket without even knowing about it.   Both the rented mothers and the children are dusty, pale, mal-nourished and destitute.     They wear torn clothes, carry empty milk bottles and equally dusty bags carrying one set of clothes and not sure what else.   But the fact that these children are sleeping all the time is 'alarming'.  The Big Question is Why are these children sleeping all the time.

Every day on the way to office, a woman with a child used to bang on our car door asking for few pennies.   Though I used to feel sad, I always felt the need not to encourage this begging.   But to my dismay and shock, this woman started carry different children every other day.   The child varied from 3 months to 3 years and most of the time, the Child is again Sleeping!  

 Moreover, the child at times have a broken arm or a bandaged leg.   Why?  
How is the Child Hurt?   And the Big Question is Why is the Child Sleeping every time I see during the same time of the day ?  Do children sleep so and all the time?  The same lady on the way back also used to carry the kid still sleeping. 
After months of observations, I wanted to stop the car, and get to the lady.  The minute I did, she ran away.  I could see a fear in her eyes, haste in her legs and tremors in the body.  One auto driver standing next to me, said that there is no use trying to find her.  They are controlled by the big gangs who in turn rob / kidnap or buy these children, rent them to the women on daily basis, and take away a huge part of their begging collection.  What is further more alarming is that these children are fed with Vodka and Drugs so that they just keep sleeping and hanging on to the woman's shoulder bags.    The fact that no real mother would use the sick/ mal-nourished child for begging makes us feel more at discomfort seeing these 'Young mom's... sometime, we see them as young as 12 years old and they themselves look like children.
 Feeling Sad, sick and frustrated and equally not able to do anything about this, I thought I can least vent my sadness in my blog so that someone will give me a hope for a solution to this menace we see in every day routine.  

The least I could do is not to give alms to these beggar women .  Unless we have law to stop begging, governments to rehabilitate destitute women, and safeguard our children from the clutches of this cruel business,  we will still be seeing this horror stories on the streets every day. 

Pictures here speak volumes than my words and most of them are sourced from the internet

Sevai Karangal- A special pool of love and service thats flowering in Chennai

Around an year back, my friend and colleague Vadi introduced me to his friend Thilak.  A simple and soft man with a great vision,  simple aspirations to bring in smiles in under privileged children and elderly,  a calm person but with strong convictions.   Slowly as we started understanding what Sevai Karangal is...we realized its way beyond a typical NGO.  

It has its wings flying high above the clouds...and shining hard with the new sunshine adding every single day... I can only be glad to be associated with this team of committed, hardworking professional, who find time to spend their way of contributing to the society.    

What makes them special is the variety of things they do to contribute to the society..... Sevai Karangal 'Chankya' project of educating underprivileged children started reaping results with Yazhini securing Medical Seat on merit at Madurai Medical college and lot more to follow.  Book distribution is part of it, and Home of Hope is just an example

Old age homes started having visits from full time professional who spent their time with the elderly giving hope and love, spreading joy and sharing sorrows.... Sahaya Illam is one of the pet projects.  for all their celebrations

SIP home, the home for HIV kids and children of HIV positive parents, is a destination of hope.  This home which usually is a far reach for normal society, is a regularly visited home to spend joy and provide relief and support to the beautiful garden of children

If education, support, medical aid, and festivals food distribution is one part, the next part is the consciousness towards environment and happy outings.     Be it fortnightly tree plantation around Retteri area in Chennai or pruning and growing them and repeat visits to ensure the trees are growing as planned.

Trekking is a passion for this group and taking children on social treks is fun, a responsibility and educative way of preserving our environment.   Running , Walking and Cycling events are all where you can find a volunteer from Sevai Karangal waving their hands extending help.  They are also a very special part of the most famous Chennai Trekking Club now having more than 18000 enthusiasts and still growing...

Causes are abundant., their care for the society is plenty, their hard work is abundant, and their love for the less privileged is just too valuable.  Wishing Thilak, his wife Dhana and the entire Sevai Karangal gang abundant happiness in all their endeavours, success in their projects, love spread beyond the extended hands of help and may god bless them with loads of opportunities to serve and succeed to carry on with peace and hope.   Joining hands ....all along....

Happy 5th Anniversary dear team:-)  God bless you all.....

Children Waiting for Adoption

Number of destitute children in India : 44 million

Number of Orphans in India : 25.7 million

Number of NGOs working on the issue of Adoption : around 300

Number of Children adopted by families through government welfare departments: Around 3000

Not even 0.001 percent of the children are finding homes. First there is a need to stop the creation of orphans by creating an awareness and second, there is a need to rehabilitate all the abandoned children, thus bridging the wider gap in the society.

What makes this a social issue?

Children cared and pruned well themselves struggle to make things work as they enter adulthood, lot many get succumbed to the weaknesses of the society, take on to drugs and other addictions, few turn violent and promote anti-social ailments.

The destiny of the abandoned children is far more than can be even imagined. There is one saying " Neeram nadhi kadhu- naa akili dhee" which means, the fault of the crime is not mine, but of my hunger. Children living in homes have no place to go once they are 18 and are asked to face the world. Lot many children do not have a direction, and are driven by helpless circumstances.

Can we as a society react to this before these statistics get growing up!

Children in need of homes- Can you pick one?

Nearly 1.8 millions children do not have permanent homes or parental care in India. If generous hearts can give little space for each little child, and families in need of children can welcome these little hearts, a new dawn without orphans in this world is close by.

Need Parents - For all my forbidden children

Since many weeks, I am restless with an ongoing thought. A Thought to make my mission accomplish. It is a restlessness that sprang from an inner cry of mother, a quest of child, the need of an civilized society. My dream is to see a dawn without an orphan in this world. I want to build a bridge between children in need of families and families wanting children. For weeks I have made my intense search to find appropriate adoption centres, the laws abiding them, the orphanages and baby hatches that support forbidden children and homes that educated, care and prune the helpless buds of this Nation.

My search only proved a fact that there is absolutely no proper mechanism to finding homes for thousands of children living in homes, orphanages, streets and as vagabonds. It is not the fame of Slumdog Millionaire or the limelight of destitute children that is creating this urge. It is an inner loss, a personal loss that haunts a mother for years.

What is my vision: The vision is to build a common platform where the needs of two different desperate groups get satisfied. One is of the helpless children and the other group is the issue-less couples or families who can adopt children.

How to envisage this vision: Bring in the two groups together. It is a ardent urge and a very tedious task. For it involves nothing but Children - Vulnerable and dependent.

Having started collected required data, there is lot more to do. Identify all children who need homes, at least begin with few. Closely look into the adoption law, identify areas of concern, create an awareness on the availability of this children and promote them to finding homes. I know it is not an easy task. But if I am able to find at least 5 children a permanent homes where they get ample care, love and parenting in the next 6 months, my mission has a reason to celebrate. At the same time, I need to ensure that these children are not prone to domestic violence, abuse or end up as unpaid domestic helps and labourers.

What I need? - Support from my family and friends. Networking to create awareness. End of the road- Finding homes for all those little children who are orphaned due to various reasons, be it parenting negligence, unwanted pregnancies, financial circumstances, female infanticide natural disasters, war victims, refugees, and so on.

Why this? Every child needs a home. Every child needs parental care, affection and love. Every child has every right to education and growth. Every child in this country is its future.

If you as a reader, do think that my mission is worthy its effort, please do not hesitate to forward your ideas, support, information and an extended arm to join this saga. I am sure one day, we would have all reasons to be proud of what we are aiming at.