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| Author- Umasree Raghunath |
I thought I would never find her…
As I rumbled through the darkest times of my life,
Rock bottom of all rock bottoms…with nothing left to lose
Lost myself trying to please all around
Gaining love and connections from others all abound
Love and connections, I never really got,
No matter how hard I chased it in lot,
Because no external thing could ever fill
The endless void felt within
So, I went on the road trip to ‘reset’
In the quest to find myself at my best
The trip was to find the lost me
The intention to find the source of the deepest pain
Also remove the agonizing blockages preventing me
From finding my true love and happiness
I went behind every possible lessons of the Masters
Chakras, Auras, Timelines, all the way down to Spirits
And everything on its way and in between
I went deep inside my own self, as wide as I could
Stopped on the way to release all the guilt and share
That burdened my journey further down the lane
I sat on the fields and made the list of everyone
Who’s ever hurt me or everyone I’ve ever hurt
I looked upon the bright sun and gave it all to him
Asking him to release them all and let them burn
With LOVE and gratitude, I found someone
So special that I never thought would be ever found
ME
And deeper in the journey in the thickest woods
I found the calling, a true sojourn towards healing
I realized it was me, I needed love from the most
Because it was me who WITHHELD the most love from myself
So, the day, the decision was made
Loud and clear, to love MYSELF for sure!
And I did!
I started being kinder to myself.
Every time, I felt burdened, I thought of three things
Positive and things that made me proud
I made a list of every activity that made me fill up
With joy, laughter, love, peace and empowering emotions
And I made time to do them not once but daily.
Whenever, I’d feel heavy or stressed,
I stopped sitting on that feeling for long
Its ok to look up the sky, let your heart cry
But get up, fresh up and smile to enjoy
First time
I started to say NO to things I didn’t want to do
YES, to things that I felt pulled to do
I started doing things again that set my soul on fire
I kept writing down exactly what I wanted in all areas of life
Health, Finance, Purpose, Work, Love, Life
When I say I wrote everything down,
I mean, I wrote my detailed ‘Dream Scenarios’ down
And I even wrote a long and detailed list of things
That cluttered my mind and soul,
that I wanted to leave behind as I travel back
I dream of someone who would grow and evolve with me
Who would love me for ALL of me- even the parts
That I know are ‘unlovable’ at times
In my mind, I started living with that someone
Who ignites the flame of passion by mere existence
In my soul, I found a purpose with that someone
Who would dedicate our lives together to fulfilling that purpose
In my body, who would pull me back when I get out of alignment
Lovingly hold me accountable to all my potential
Yes, I found that someone who would change the world with me
And impacting lives around and globally
And the list went on and on ….and on
That someone who presented me the beautiful life
Because I sure as heck deserved it true
The days of me settling with what’s available was over
After writing all that down, I released it all to God and the
Universe
And sent it off with love and gratitude
That’s when I found ME
Who came with everything on my dream list and more
Unraveling the amazing things about her
Falling deeper and deeper in love
Changing lives, thoughts and love coming true
The day I released every fear, doubt and dependence
It created the space for me to find myself
And love MYSELF!
And in that vibration, everything I could ever want and more,
found its way to me.
When you find yourself and love yourself,
you magnetically attract everything magical
that’s meant for you in this lifetime... and more ❤️
