Today happens to be one of those million thoughts days,,, where thoughts over run the words..Yet in such a bewildered moments, as you pen down your thoughts, you end up relating things and events that inter wine and make your thoughts look confused, happy, sad, hopeful and stressed too...
Today happens to be one big day at my work, where a one year's hard work is finally getting its last leg.. almost like in the last lap of a relay race.. a race that was tough, at times insurmountable, many a time tiring, challenging, commanding my private time, and thoughts, days and nights where we spent as individuals and team towards one single goal. Finally when it is all happening, I am finding it excited, tensed, and almost happy and sad. Happy for its finally happening and sad for its getting to an end. But the sadness is outgrown by the happiness, for the accomplishments and achievements it brought with it. Immense technical details, strong leadership skills, highly regarded interpersonal skills, vibrant communication, one toes on deliverable, quality in our work, team that at time forgot everything than the project, long hours we spent discussing, analyzing, communication, developing, testing, implementing solutions. Ha! What a relief. What a happiness. What a shadow of fear, a fear of being into the new thing after this is over. The happiness of starting it all again, in a new shore, in a new environment, may be in a new technology, new expectations, new customer, new team and new new and everything new.. this indicates a preparedness for change. Reiterating the fact that change is the only constant thing.
Today, personally, I am very happy. My friend's twin daughters Sanju and Sanyu celebrating their birthday today... a beautiful roses those blossomed in Dallas, the beauty of a family that loves me and just there for me always... am excited that the girls are growing..growing so beautifully.
For the first time today, I read a full book..After many long months. A book written by Nicholas Sparks - At First sight... that gives you an insight on love and trust...overwhelming, that I slept only at 4 am after completing the same... In the evening, sat with my friend Manji and watched a movie "13 on way to 30"..what a realistic movie..it was as if reflecting the teen in me in my thirties..At the age of 13, we want to grow fast, grow big, look womanly, find attention, grab big jobs, and become popular. When in reality at 30, everything keeps happening as we dreamt and work towards it, you just wish, you can redo it all over again.. you would just wanna those first teen days to come back,,want the first care of a friend to live for a lifetime, want the first fights in school to continue.. just you keep thinking that you want to really go back to high school... Very True. It happens with me, and I know it happens with my sisters and friends too.
In fact in one way, young mothers are blessed to relive their lives seeing the young daughters grow...I could not help blushing when my kid was talking about being a celebrity in school, something that I could never even think of... yes,,, today because of work, my book reading, and in a urge to do hundred things all today..missed having my usual chat with her online... that's the strength I feel...keeping connected with your dear ones..what happened to that connectedness today....Oh God... I watered my money plant, wanted it get some sunlight after I remembered the plant in the table in my Chennai office getting its required attention yesterday..
Looking at the economy and people's jobs at stake, my heart aches for a while...Being part of this economic slowdown, I can have no better reason than being regretful... one side my happiness is that I can go back to my family very soon..at the same time, I have reasons to be sad as my goals are still half baked... I have shopping to do, I have tasks to complete, I have my book to be published, friends and family to meet and lot of other things. Rejoin my crusade as a Inner wheel member, counsel people as part of Scarf, doing my reading at the blind school, arrange a party for my kid's friends and finally take a day to hit my favorite dance floor. Too much...too many things, too many thoughts.. End of it, Just picked an ice cream and sat to blog... What a beautiful day..... that I named as my MTD!!!
