Like any other ordinary domestic quarrel, Paru fought
with her husband demanding to move away from the joint family set up to a
nuclear family environment, where she can focus on her children and husband, plan her daily chores than being dictated by
her mother-in-law every single day on what to do and what not to do. She also wanted her personal space to do
things of her passion like painting, traveling and making friends.
The joint family set up did not allow her to make any
savings and stressful daily chores made her sick both physically and
mentally. Her husband empathized with
her, but there was very little he could do as he was not able to speak against
his parents will and wish. Paru felt disgusting
as her husband’s inability to convince even on little things in life like
taking a day off with his own family for an outing. She decided that it is time for her to speak
up than expect her obedient husband who never could muster courage to speak his
heart with his parents.
Paru has grown in a environment where girls were
treated equally and did all things that boys could do. She was raised like a boy participating in
sports and enjoying trips with friends and having her own space to explore her
creative skills and talents.
Unfortunately the domestic set up where she entered as a bride was just
the opposite. It took her several months
to understand on how to deal with people from a different planet. The house was dominated by male chauvinistic
brothers who played to the tunes of their arrogant mother who controlled her
husband without any qualms. Poor father
in law has little or no say in the management of the house and always acted as
per the decisions made by his wife. Her
arrogance was covered by fake smiles that the world could never see her true
self. She was hardly sensitive expect
that in looks she looked dashing and beautiful even as she became a grand
mother. Behind her feminine looks, was a
truly selfish and dirty mind that people from outside can never ever imagine of
such an existence!
Paru also initially thought that her mother in law as
a fairy-tale god mother. She just
followed her ‘orders’ and felt relieved to complete the same. She got excited when her mother in law praised
her to the neighbors. Not after the day
she got the pinch of the other side of this woman. Paru was in her bed room when she heard her
mother in law talking to the neighboring Kamala aunty. Her mother-in-law was telling her that she
unfortunately brought home a short and dusk skinned woman for his son as a
daughter in law. Paru was the shortest
of the daughter- in- laws and other ladies in the house were fairer than
her. Kamala aunty was trying to convince
that Paru is a good girl and she would fit into the family easily. Mother in law countered that she would easily
fit in for a permanent servant and should be treated so as her son is not
earning much and managing his family is her burden.
Paru felt the earth below her shaking. She could feel the tremors in her body. She is a graduate with a gold medal and can
any time get a decent job that would make her run her family. Her husband’s small business and its
dependent hassles is not her share of trouble.
She can take care of her children and herself without depending on any
body. Within a week of that over heard conversation,
Paru was ready with her afternoon meal and bag to her office. Her mother-in-law was furious that she is
losing control on this woman. However,
she did not stop Paru from going to work as it would mean extra money to the
family. After three months, Paru
realized that her hard earned money is smartly and slowly being pushed to the
joint expenses of the family. She could
not save anything nor spend on her own needs.
That’s when she realized that she had to move out of this joint family
system.
After weeks of deliberate discussions, her husband
finally agreed to her decision. The information to his parents went slow and
firm. He expected their reactions. Communication grew into arguments and an
ever lasting debate. Arguments became
abuses on either side. He requested his
parents if he can take up another portion of the house in the first floor and
live separately with his wife and children and at the same in the vicinity of
his parents. Parents started to abuse
him saying that he is playing to the tunes of his working wife. Paru interfered saying that her husband also
can think on his own on what would work for his family. Immediately her mother in law jumped with a
new tactic. They demanded the rent that
the current tenant has been paying to them.
Paru got wild. She kept the cards
straight saying that there is no income coming out from her husband’s business
and it is her hard earned money which is running the household expenses and
raising costs of meting children’s medical and education expenses.
Mother-in-law was quick to respond. She shouted at Paru saying that she can as
well leave her husband and go, if she thinks that he is of no use. Paru was taken back. She loved her husband irrespective of his
limitations and what he is capable of and what not. Instead of empathizing with her situation,
mother-in-law makes her life miserable at every turn in life. Paru was in tears. Her brain stopped working and she was pushed
to be the wolf that she is not. Her
caring, sympathetic, affectionate wolf went into hiding and her ego was deeply
hurt. Her self respect was pushed to the
drains. She took the sacred yellow thread and put it in her father-in-laws
hands saying that it is end of her story in that household. She rushed to her bedroom and closed the
doors. She did not want to cry in front of every one in that house and wanted
to weep herself out in silence and loneliness.
It was 30 minutes past 10; her husband came to their
room and started to plead her to calm down.
She dragged her children and moved to the small living room adjacent to
the bedroom and put the mats and quilts and made her children sleep with her on
the floor. Her husband felt
helpless. He went inside the bed room
and kept the door open and fell asleep.
Past 2 am, Paru
woke up with a shock. Her night dress
caught fire and the fire engulfed the whole room and was like whirlwind till
the fan. She shouted in distress and
pushed her children out of the mats which caught the fire. Children woke up in half sleep and started to
cry. Her husband from the bedroom pulled
the blanket and covered Paru quickly stopping the fire engulfing the night
dress. He stopped the fan and made the
mats to fold and burning blanket was thrown aside. By the time, rest of the people in the house
came rushing from other rooms
They realized that a petrol dipped shirt was rounded
to a stick and was pushed from the window to the mats where Paru and her
children were sleeping. It was an
intentional attempt to kill her. Paru
was still in shock. She could not speak. Her brother in law called the police and then
they took her to the near by hospital for first aid.
Early morning around 4 am, police came to the
scene. As usual, slowly and after all
the drama was over. They enquired Paru
from several angles. She kept quite. She did not reveal the previous night
domestic quarrel. She did not utter a
word against any one in that household.
She had the highest respect for her husband and any kind of words
against any one in the family would ruin her relationship with him. To her, at that moment, he was important than
any thing else. It is him, who saved her
life and acted on time to rescue her from the fire spreading all around. She is always indebted to him for this. He was the one who saved her and her children
from the clutches of death. A small fire
can destroy the whole forest. An
intentional endeavor of someone went futile as her caring husband acted on
time.
The next day, Paru’s friends and parents rushed to her
side. She hugged them in tears. She took her children, their important stuff
and clothes and went off with her parents to her parental home. Her husband neither stopped her nor
accompanied her. He stood silently as
the taxi that took her away from the house turned the street corner and
disappeared.
Yes, Paru is now alone with her children. In a house she built for herself. She is free from the clutches of
relationships that entangled her and suffocated her. She is now free from the thoughts that
surrounded the insecurities of life. She
was sure one day her husband would come back to her and live along with her and
her children. She now has all the time
in the world to smile and play with her kids.
She can teach them, tell stories and take them out. She no longer needs to spend all her timing
cooking for a dozen people at home. She
can make simple food for them or at times eat out. She got time to read books, take up to
paintings in the weekends and enjoy her time with friends. She is no longer dictated by her wimpy
mother-in-law. She is no longer engaged
in useless gossip with other ladies in the house. She now has a home of her own.
Yes, she has her own Life. Life regained from the fire that engulfed
her. Making her become a new You!
