Very recently I attended a session on microaggressions and that’s when I realized that I have been facing this all my life …nothing but triggers that challenge our emotional balance.
It is time
that we
Feel empowered to identify and challenge
microaggressions to improve our culture
Identify your own unconscious bias
Be empowered to help shape the culture you want
Microaggressions are everyday verbal, nonverbal, and
environmental slights, snubs, or insults, whether intentional or unintentional,
that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to people based
solely upon being members of a marginalized group
Bias in Actions & Words
“I don’t plan to have any children because My husband
and I are very ambitious”
My female manager, when I was first pregnant
“You are the only female member of the team.
Please take charge of all birthday celebrations of the team members since you
would manage it so much better!”
One of my female managers
“Your husband is a banker – so I need to allocate
more increments to those who need to manage in one salary.”
My first direct manager (Male)
“I thought being a female at least you would not
be so aggressive and pushy about asking for salary increases”
One of my female managers in AsiaImpact
matters more than intent:
How do Microaggressions impact team members
Statements couched as compliments or harmless
comments. The recipients may initially feel that they are not entitled to an
emotional reaction and may have the following thought process….
•
Did I interpret that correctly?
•
Did she say what I think she said?
•
What did he mean by that?
•
Should I say something?
•
Saying something may make it worse.
•
They’ll probably think I’m
overreacting.
•
Speaking up is going to hurt more
than it helps
Impact matters more than intent:
•
Anxiety
•
Depression
•
Sleep difficulties
•
Diminished confidence
•
Helplessness
•
Loss of drive
• Internal dilemma
What are the potential impacts of unchecked micro aggressions on an organization’s culture?
Cultural
effects:
•
Bad behaviors get normalized -
specially when others observe and do not see any checks
•
It makes new or introverted people to
clam up and not speak out - which could
translate to hiding bigger leadership behavioral aggression being unchecked
•
Toxic culture in teams, lack of
collaboration and trust
•
People hesitate to bring their
authentic self to work
Negative
tangible outcomes impacting bottom line:
•
Low Engagement Rate
•
Low Productivity
•
Low Performance
•
Low morale
•
Loss of good talent
•
Bad reputation as a place to work
What if you are the Microaggressor?
Some positive approaches
•
Do Make the other person feel heard
and follow their lead in the conversation.
•
Offer a genuine apology that
acknowledges the impact and harm your comment caused.
•
Keep striving to be better. It
requires grace, humility, and commitment.
Some unproductive approaches
•
Fall prey to the fundamental
attribution error. You can still be a good, well-intentioned person who said
something offensive.
•
Make the conversation about you.
Instead, express gratitude for your colleague’s trust and belief that you’re
capable of evolving.
•
Overdo your apology by laying on your
privileged guilt. Your apology should be sincere.
Ask yourself
-
•
What was the Impact of My statement ?
•
What was my intention when making
this statement ?
How to
Respond to a Microaggression
Three
Approaches:
1. Let it go. This
can often be the easiest solution but comes with an emotional tax, of not
speaking up for yourself, and others, and it reinforces the behavior is OK.
2. Respond
immediately. This approach
addresses the situation but can be risky, impacting how you are seen, and
impacting others and the overall culture.
3. Respond
Later. Sleep on it. Get perspective.
Strategically respond. Create a tempered approach, privately. Log it with HR
and others, as well as directly to the person.
How?
•
Discern – how important
is this? To you? Your feelings & others? How do you want to be perceived?
•
Disarm – prepare
them to be uncomfortable for the discussion.
•
Defy– Challenge them to explain exactly what they
meant vs your interpreation.
•
Decide– Your feelings, your reaction are yours to
decide.
Reference Material:
•
Harvard Business Review – further
reading: https://hbr.org/2020/07/when-and-how-to-respond-to-microaggressions
• IBM Institute for Business Value & Session on Microaggression
