Mother!
11 May 2020
What will I write
What all will I not write!
When she was around, I never valued her enough
As she was gone, I could not stop wanting her more
She was not the normal mothers who cuddled around
Or hug you, kiss you and suffocate you with love
Her way of expressing love was different
That I never understood as a child
I longed for her one long kiss on my cheek
Wanted to hug her and cuddle over to sleep
Waited to tell all my stories non-stop
But she was never there around for these flops
She ensured we had proper clothes,
Food on our table and books to study
She breathed her lungs out to make a living
To give us a decent life and rebuild everything
She shouted like a monster most of the times
Disciplined us like a circus ring master every time
Forget about getting her love, it was more of hate
More of anger, more of no where else to go days
Having three teenage girls to take care all alone
As the man who was the rock of the family slipped away soon
I never understood what all she would have gone through
Having to feed, having to raise and having to live alone
Today as I crave for love, so much in life, despite all comforts
I feel so sorry for her, for how much she would have needed
That one shoulder to support and lean on when she wanted
She was there, with that frail body that troubled her with wheeze
Steroids that kept her crazy and not have proper sleep
Yet, she ensured she cooked us delicious meals
Made sure that all of us had the normal lives
Her anxieties always did kill her and our peace
Marrying us off became her life’s biggest goals
And she did it without loans and with such an ease
She was a true Leo. The roaring lioness in her own way
Looking back, probably she was right in her say
At times, words ripped us like the swords around
I forgot the fights where we threw knives abound
Yet, after all the battles within the four walls
She ensured, that we were safe, we were not hungry
We were educated, we could live our lives on our own
Not sure, if my hate did turn to love, when I saw her sick
As her days were coming to close, I know I evolved
When the world shunned its doors on me, she rescued
As life ripped me apart, she stood there to strengthen my resolve
All I could give her back in gratitude was my ample time
In her last days, pampering her with my care and love
Today, I know her value, I need her more, I wish her around
Mother is a mother, no matter how different, yet always profound!
Love you Amma!
Wish I told you more of this when you were around!
