AVIS initiatives and especially their Happyness Conversations touch me everytime I attend .....today was no different. Infact, it was very special because it had Rotarian Rajan as one of the Guest speaker...what else I need as motivational factor to push myself to attend amidst two critically complex production cutovers at working I have been manning from early in the day and a college talk that was pre-planned long ago and skin infection that was really skin deep in trouble today and thanks to my dermatologist friend Sneha who came to my rescue last night....medication, work pressure, social commitment and the urge to go for this conversation....what a day!
Today as we heard the conversation of two different men who adored their wives in their own way, and who lost their beloved spouses in two different ways and yet, had a strong underlying uniqueness of a strong bond and falling in loving as they grow old.
R.V. Rajan and his beloved wife Prabha Rajan
Rajan who is now 70+ had an amazing career as the Ad Man, Rural Marketing Expert, Socialite, Author, Celebrity. Round Tabler, Rotarian and many other feathers in his cap. His beloved Prabha Rajan is known to me ever since I joined Inner Wheel in 2004...on the day she passed on 5 Jan 2013, I was in the ITIL certification process and exam, and couldnt reach her house on time to see her for one last time before her final journey....that regret ran in me for long time. Subsequently coming to know about Rajan, he became a very important part in our lives as part of our Mutual Admiration Club....and we kept bumping into each other at many social gatherings. Rajan and Raghu also bonded well and we had so much in common to celebrate this friendship. Prabha from being an introvert, to a very expressive writer, and her transition from being a timid madras mammi to be the 'Nightingale of Inner Wheel Club of Madras South' her journey is an inspiration to many.
Rajan instead of mourning the loss of his beloved wife, decided to greive in a different way.. Celebrate her life and create more of Prabha Rajans in the remaining life he is gifted with after her demise...His Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation has a beautiful purpose on its own and today, he still feels that he can help women recreate the magic in their lives by becoming published authors and he encourages women writers to survive, get opportunities and chase their dreams...Hats off to you Rajan....some where deep down in me, I am discovering a father bond in you...God bless you Rajan.
K.S.Narendra and his wife Chandrika.
Ever since MH 370 disappeared from the skies on 8 March 2014, this particular tragic event baffled me like many around the world. It was absolutely undigestable that a so called most secured passenger aircraft can just go missing for no reason known so far from the skies and no amount of loss, anger, frustration, pressure from the families those who lost their beloved one's could make this search continue till the whole episode found a logical conclusion. It is very unfortunate that 3 families from India lost 5 of their beloved one's and it wasnt even a number that would be considered important for Govt of India to push for answers and it is the most unfortunate thing for the families when compared with the 150+ lives of Chinese . As Naren, was speaking, I could feel that choke in his voice...absolutely controlled grief, a deep anger that had no where to go, the pain that is absolutely devastating and lots and lots of questions that probably will never have answers. Chandrika who used to be full of life disappeared along with the plane she was in. You should watch this conversation video recorded to feel the depth of love he has on her and how tough this spouse goes through after she is gone. Naren calls life as a gift and he has to move on. But one thing that can never go from him, is the love for Chandrika, his grief which he learnt to live with, the healing that is very minimal and a life ahead which is absolutely based on the flow of the daily routine, with no dreams of his beloved coming true. I struggled to hold back my tears while hearing him.
What this conversations about 2 deaths was disturbing to me and absolutely related....
2018 was a painful year in my life..losing 2 absolutely important women in my life...my mother and my god-daughter Manasa.
My mother lived a full life, had her own struggles and health issues, a life full of battles of all kinds and tasting success of the daughters she raised, and her glorious last 20 years of life was filled with the joy of being a very very happy grand mother and she adored her grand children like nothing else.
A small fall at home, that broke her arm, and subsequently restricted her movements and finally diagnosed with 70% clots in 3 of her nerves in the brain....was a painful journey...Just like Prabha, my mom struggled with the issues related to her brain problem for 7 long months and the physical pain she was suffering was unbearable and difficult for us to watch.. We could help her with supporting externally round the clock, ran to the hospital errands and stayed with her, treating her like a baby in her last few months. At one stage, seeing her in so much of physical pain, I prayed God to give it an end and relieve her from this earthly pain. I prepared myself to accept her death when it happened. I started celebrating her life. Despite that her loss created a deep sense of vacuum and I wished to knock on her door when I return from work.. She was there to take of my home and my daughter and gave me ample space to pursue what I want and chase my dreams. Today, I miss her support, her discipline and her unexpressed unending love in actions. Probably this is so similar to what Rajan is going through. The only difference is that my loss is of a parent and his loss is of his spouse of more than 40 years. We need more Rajans in our society who don't talk on women empowerment but just be the torch bearers of the same. God bless you Rajan
Munni (Sai Manasa) gave us no clue that she will disappear one night , like an star into the skies. The foster daughter who adored me like her own mother, spent more of the last 6 years of her 19 years young life at my home as my twin-friend-soul-sister to my daughter. Ever since she came in our lives in 2012, I stopped my regret of aishu not having a own sister and Munni just became such an integral part of our lives. She stood with us like a soothing soul when my mom passed away in august and spent every day consoling Aishu who was raised by my mom. The day I was starting to Canada, she really gave me headache by sleeping off in the flat and not opening the door for the roommates and make me go crazy on her. Wish that craziness continued. She used to love me, trouble me, pamper me, get pampered, get fed, get cajoled in my arms to sleep and literally bite my cheeks and sleep... First 15 days of my Corporate Service Corps journey in Canada went off very happily till the screaming call I received on the night of Oct 15th last year from aishu saying that Munni met with a tragic bike accident and died on spot. I didnt know how to react, I became numb...I was on the other side of the planet...and next 24 hours was brutal...and subsequently the grief of her loss became more and more as I could not see her final journey and catch one last glimpse of her. Today I strongly believe that I wouldn't have had the courage to bid her a final bye. The guilt that she wouldn't have even done what she did to end up in this tragic death had I been in India ...similar to Chandrika's death where Naren had no control., we didn't have any control in the way we lost munni
Several questions remained unanswered!
1. Why did she go on that fateful bike journey of 400 kms without telling her parents or us?
2. Why did she trust the professor and traveled alone starting from home at 10,30 PM to reach Theni in the morning to see kurunji flowers bloom?
3. Why did she neglect the fact that bike riding on highway in the night can be dangerous?
4. What a stupid sense of gender-equity that professor defended himself saying he never thought the difference of a girl or a boy when she asked to venture out?
5. Who gave Ben Philip right to take her on the ride without proper permission?
6. Why did Ben Philip tell the NIFT management that accident happened at 5.30 am where as Post Mortem report mentioned the time of accident at 12.05 and death on spot?
7. Did Ben Philip ensure that she had the right helmet, jacket and other precautions to travel that far in the night? When he was wearing all that, where did his common sense go to not ensure she is safe?
8. How did he miss to see the sudden /or slow coming of the bullock cart and ramp his bike to the bullock cart and eventually resulting in the death of the animal on the highway?
9. Why did our law system not punish him for his over speeding or rash driving and negligence resulting in loss of lives of both the teenage student and the animal on the road
10. There is no justice to the suffering of pain our child went through as she got hit to the ground and died on the road bleeding and in darkness and loneliness and later butchered in the hospital in the name of PM and investigation?
11. No amount of police investigation or running behind advocates, could ensure that Ben Philip is punished for his negligence. I could not pursue this case due the fact that aishu is studying in the same college.
12. Ben moved ahead with his life in no time, just like every other newspaper and political leaders after MH370 disappearance and so did his college, and her classmates. What impacted was the family of manasa and us and the grief was so deep that we are still struggling to cope up
13. A normal excursion and adventure turned into a nightmare and loss of a precious life which did not matter to any one in the system..except for the family and friends
14. Why did Munni not even tell Aishu till the last half hour before leaving our house in OLA to that fateful bike ride?
15. Is this Karma which united Munni with her biological mother as she longed to see her once, to be with her, despite all the efforts her dad and mother put in to raising?
16. Of all the time , why the hell I was away from India and did not see her finally to bid adieu...
17. Road accidents happen every minute and every hour it claims 17 lives in India....and most of them are due to negligent driving. But why Munni? why us to this suffering? Why do we deserve this? Is 19 a age to die this tragic death?
18. Is there a logical conclusion to this pain and when and how are we going to make peace with her death and move on?
19. Will punishing Ben philip matter any more and bring her back to life? Will it give us peace? Will it resolve the loss? I dont know
20. This is the grief, we dont want to ignore but embrace, celebrate the love she shared, memories she created with 1000+ pictures she took with aishu...and despite she being our limited edition, her memory will not be of the past. She will live with us till our last breath.... Oct 4th , her hindu thiti is going to drain us and coping up with her first anniversary on 15 oct is going to be painful...but I am sure she will not like us sulking or crying..instead she would want us to wear her pink, dance in her memory, feed the destitute children and sleep hugging the part of her remaining with us.
This happyness conversation for sure made me end the day in tears and pain. The takeaways of the evening are many and recalling the conversation will hopefully give us the strength to celebrate the 2 important women in our lives and move on with daily grind of routine. Miss u mom and munni
Rest in peace Prabha and Chandrika. Gone are the physical bodies but not your souls that are truly cherished in your spouses hearts and minds....Both Rajan and Naren are coping up this in their own way and spreading the message of love beyond death.
Thanks to Vaani and AVIS for one another touching conversation . God bless you both.
Today as we heard the conversation of two different men who adored their wives in their own way, and who lost their beloved spouses in two different ways and yet, had a strong underlying uniqueness of a strong bond and falling in loving as they grow old.
R.V. Rajan and his beloved wife Prabha Rajan
Rajan who is now 70+ had an amazing career as the Ad Man, Rural Marketing Expert, Socialite, Author, Celebrity. Round Tabler, Rotarian and many other feathers in his cap. His beloved Prabha Rajan is known to me ever since I joined Inner Wheel in 2004...on the day she passed on 5 Jan 2013, I was in the ITIL certification process and exam, and couldnt reach her house on time to see her for one last time before her final journey....that regret ran in me for long time. Subsequently coming to know about Rajan, he became a very important part in our lives as part of our Mutual Admiration Club....and we kept bumping into each other at many social gatherings. Rajan and Raghu also bonded well and we had so much in common to celebrate this friendship. Prabha from being an introvert, to a very expressive writer, and her transition from being a timid madras mammi to be the 'Nightingale of Inner Wheel Club of Madras South' her journey is an inspiration to many.
Rajan instead of mourning the loss of his beloved wife, decided to greive in a different way.. Celebrate her life and create more of Prabha Rajans in the remaining life he is gifted with after her demise...His Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation has a beautiful purpose on its own and today, he still feels that he can help women recreate the magic in their lives by becoming published authors and he encourages women writers to survive, get opportunities and chase their dreams...Hats off to you Rajan....some where deep down in me, I am discovering a father bond in you...God bless you Rajan.
K.S.Narendra and his wife Chandrika.
Ever since MH 370 disappeared from the skies on 8 March 2014, this particular tragic event baffled me like many around the world. It was absolutely undigestable that a so called most secured passenger aircraft can just go missing for no reason known so far from the skies and no amount of loss, anger, frustration, pressure from the families those who lost their beloved one's could make this search continue till the whole episode found a logical conclusion. It is very unfortunate that 3 families from India lost 5 of their beloved one's and it wasnt even a number that would be considered important for Govt of India to push for answers and it is the most unfortunate thing for the families when compared with the 150+ lives of Chinese . As Naren, was speaking, I could feel that choke in his voice...absolutely controlled grief, a deep anger that had no where to go, the pain that is absolutely devastating and lots and lots of questions that probably will never have answers. Chandrika who used to be full of life disappeared along with the plane she was in. You should watch this conversation video recorded to feel the depth of love he has on her and how tough this spouse goes through after she is gone. Naren calls life as a gift and he has to move on. But one thing that can never go from him, is the love for Chandrika, his grief which he learnt to live with, the healing that is very minimal and a life ahead which is absolutely based on the flow of the daily routine, with no dreams of his beloved coming true. I struggled to hold back my tears while hearing him.
What this conversations about 2 deaths was disturbing to me and absolutely related....
2018 was a painful year in my life..losing 2 absolutely important women in my life...my mother and my god-daughter Manasa.
My mother lived a full life, had her own struggles and health issues, a life full of battles of all kinds and tasting success of the daughters she raised, and her glorious last 20 years of life was filled with the joy of being a very very happy grand mother and she adored her grand children like nothing else.
A small fall at home, that broke her arm, and subsequently restricted her movements and finally diagnosed with 70% clots in 3 of her nerves in the brain....was a painful journey...Just like Prabha, my mom struggled with the issues related to her brain problem for 7 long months and the physical pain she was suffering was unbearable and difficult for us to watch.. We could help her with supporting externally round the clock, ran to the hospital errands and stayed with her, treating her like a baby in her last few months. At one stage, seeing her in so much of physical pain, I prayed God to give it an end and relieve her from this earthly pain. I prepared myself to accept her death when it happened. I started celebrating her life. Despite that her loss created a deep sense of vacuum and I wished to knock on her door when I return from work.. She was there to take of my home and my daughter and gave me ample space to pursue what I want and chase my dreams. Today, I miss her support, her discipline and her unexpressed unending love in actions. Probably this is so similar to what Rajan is going through. The only difference is that my loss is of a parent and his loss is of his spouse of more than 40 years. We need more Rajans in our society who don't talk on women empowerment but just be the torch bearers of the same. God bless you Rajan
Munni (Sai Manasa) gave us no clue that she will disappear one night , like an star into the skies. The foster daughter who adored me like her own mother, spent more of the last 6 years of her 19 years young life at my home as my twin-friend-soul-sister to my daughter. Ever since she came in our lives in 2012, I stopped my regret of aishu not having a own sister and Munni just became such an integral part of our lives. She stood with us like a soothing soul when my mom passed away in august and spent every day consoling Aishu who was raised by my mom. The day I was starting to Canada, she really gave me headache by sleeping off in the flat and not opening the door for the roommates and make me go crazy on her. Wish that craziness continued. She used to love me, trouble me, pamper me, get pampered, get fed, get cajoled in my arms to sleep and literally bite my cheeks and sleep... First 15 days of my Corporate Service Corps journey in Canada went off very happily till the screaming call I received on the night of Oct 15th last year from aishu saying that Munni met with a tragic bike accident and died on spot. I didnt know how to react, I became numb...I was on the other side of the planet...and next 24 hours was brutal...and subsequently the grief of her loss became more and more as I could not see her final journey and catch one last glimpse of her. Today I strongly believe that I wouldn't have had the courage to bid her a final bye. The guilt that she wouldn't have even done what she did to end up in this tragic death had I been in India ...similar to Chandrika's death where Naren had no control., we didn't have any control in the way we lost munni
Several questions remained unanswered!
1. Why did she go on that fateful bike journey of 400 kms without telling her parents or us?
2. Why did she trust the professor and traveled alone starting from home at 10,30 PM to reach Theni in the morning to see kurunji flowers bloom?
3. Why did she neglect the fact that bike riding on highway in the night can be dangerous?
4. What a stupid sense of gender-equity that professor defended himself saying he never thought the difference of a girl or a boy when she asked to venture out?
5. Who gave Ben Philip right to take her on the ride without proper permission?
6. Why did Ben Philip tell the NIFT management that accident happened at 5.30 am where as Post Mortem report mentioned the time of accident at 12.05 and death on spot?
7. Did Ben Philip ensure that she had the right helmet, jacket and other precautions to travel that far in the night? When he was wearing all that, where did his common sense go to not ensure she is safe?
8. How did he miss to see the sudden /or slow coming of the bullock cart and ramp his bike to the bullock cart and eventually resulting in the death of the animal on the highway?
9. Why did our law system not punish him for his over speeding or rash driving and negligence resulting in loss of lives of both the teenage student and the animal on the road
10. There is no justice to the suffering of pain our child went through as she got hit to the ground and died on the road bleeding and in darkness and loneliness and later butchered in the hospital in the name of PM and investigation?
11. No amount of police investigation or running behind advocates, could ensure that Ben Philip is punished for his negligence. I could not pursue this case due the fact that aishu is studying in the same college.
12. Ben moved ahead with his life in no time, just like every other newspaper and political leaders after MH370 disappearance and so did his college, and her classmates. What impacted was the family of manasa and us and the grief was so deep that we are still struggling to cope up
13. A normal excursion and adventure turned into a nightmare and loss of a precious life which did not matter to any one in the system..except for the family and friends
14. Why did Munni not even tell Aishu till the last half hour before leaving our house in OLA to that fateful bike ride?
15. Is this Karma which united Munni with her biological mother as she longed to see her once, to be with her, despite all the efforts her dad and mother put in to raising?
16. Of all the time , why the hell I was away from India and did not see her finally to bid adieu...
17. Road accidents happen every minute and every hour it claims 17 lives in India....and most of them are due to negligent driving. But why Munni? why us to this suffering? Why do we deserve this? Is 19 a age to die this tragic death?
18. Is there a logical conclusion to this pain and when and how are we going to make peace with her death and move on?
19. Will punishing Ben philip matter any more and bring her back to life? Will it give us peace? Will it resolve the loss? I dont know
20. This is the grief, we dont want to ignore but embrace, celebrate the love she shared, memories she created with 1000+ pictures she took with aishu...and despite she being our limited edition, her memory will not be of the past. She will live with us till our last breath.... Oct 4th , her hindu thiti is going to drain us and coping up with her first anniversary on 15 oct is going to be painful...but I am sure she will not like us sulking or crying..instead she would want us to wear her pink, dance in her memory, feed the destitute children and sleep hugging the part of her remaining with us.
This happyness conversation for sure made me end the day in tears and pain. The takeaways of the evening are many and recalling the conversation will hopefully give us the strength to celebrate the 2 important women in our lives and move on with daily grind of routine. Miss u mom and munni
Rest in peace Prabha and Chandrika. Gone are the physical bodies but not your souls that are truly cherished in your spouses hearts and minds....Both Rajan and Naren are coping up this in their own way and spreading the message of love beyond death.
Thanks to Vaani and AVIS for one another touching conversation . God bless you both.
