Happy Childrens Day to all the amazing young souls of this world...and to every child living within you as you grow older, wiser and smarter! Every parent was once a child. Every child will one day become an adult...may be a parent too. It is important on this children's day to look into what it takes to make or break your role as Modern Day Parent! Honestly, it is not easy any longer. Gone are the day when parents can be dictators, authoritative, commanding and expecting. Today, the expectation of the children are different. The needs are much more vast and complex. Life is no longer simpler. Thanks to to the modern day distractors of the changing digital world. Thanks to the overwhelming information overflow and accessibility to everything and anything that is killing the innocence of the children. The curiosity is high, the restlessness is more and expectations are quite dangerous. They are pushed into the rat-race and the skills expected are so different, dynamic and relatively complex. So it is the time, parent understands the children.. more attentively, deeply and closely...not to lose them to depression, care-free attitude and become losers in life!
Do's of Being a Modern Day Parent!
- Be a Observer . Watch them closely and listen to every sign and speech attentively. In this rat-race of the world, and highly demanding careers is not an excuse for parents to be non-hearing to their children.
- Be a friend - Try to understand the interests of the children today. Learn whats changing in the world they are growing in. Pace with the changes. That's what can make you relate to what they are going through.
- Be a parent - Set some ground rules. Being a friend doesn't mean you give up being a parent. Define the expectations..explain to them and talk it out openly. Don't discipline them in old ways but teach them the consequences of certain actions
- Encourage creativity- Let them dream their own dreams. Don't push your unfinished dreams/ goals/ tasks on them. It is their individual life. What you could not achieve, don't push on them and kill their space. Let them be creative
- Let them take risks - Encourage them to try new things. Guide them and support them but don't overwhelm them. Tell them to take calculated risks and face changes.
- Let them fail - It is OK to make mistakes and learn by themselves. Let them fail early and get over it. The survival of the fittest is an old wine in new bottle.
- Do what you want to teach them - Be a role model, set an example. The words you speak, the routines you make, footprints you leave, remember they are watching you and will follow you. Be careful of your own actions for they are following you.
- Teach them that food is never free. There is nothing like free food in this world. Tell them it is not swiggy or uber eats that bring them food. It is the hardwork of farmers..back breaking hardwork of parents that earn them the food. Warn them that if something is offered free, there will be a big hidden price to pay
- Start Savings very young. Buy them kiddy-banks.. Give them a small monthly allowance and teach them to save out of it. Savings is a big habit that them long way into handling finances in life. Teach them to give 10% of their earning to charity always.
- Encourage Talking and Socializing - Modern children are so stuck to the gadgets that they are no longer able to communicate and socialize with strangers. some within their own families and friends and become introvert. Take them out without gadgets. Introduce them to relatives and family friends. Make them part of religious and social events
- Let them chase their dreams and think out of the box. Encourage them to share ideas, come up with small tasks at home, give them responsibilities to clean up the house, put up a painting, cook for a evening, make tea, put up a task list / planner for the day and tick it off when done. This makes them more organized, responsible and accountable. Treat them with small gifts when work done well
- Take family time and vacations and travel. No other riches give them the experience that travel gives. Take small vacations often. Budget-friendly, Eco-friendly, nature, mountains, waterfalls, forests, animals and birds, new food, new culture and clothing, new lifestyles that they see in travel gives them the knowledge that no academic pursuits can give. So plan and spend every year on your travel goals. Don't carry work when you are on travel with your children.
- Prayers/ Faith / Respect - Teach them basic prayers to do every day. Meditate for 10 minutes. Walk for 30 mins. Greet elders with folded hands and touching feet. The blessings you get doing this alters your ego. It is uplifts your soul. Makes them humble, trust-able. Teach them seeking blessings on birthdays from elders is not a ritual but brings in positive vibrations in life.
- Be attentive - Watch their actions, who their friends are. Keep a tab on their digital usage and tell them the difference between good and bad. Explain to them the realities and atrocities of the world. Teach them to be gender-neutral. Respect the other gender.
Don't of the Modern Day Parent!
- Don't provoke - Keep your radical ideas to yourself. Already the children are overwhelmed with the digital information overflow. So don't share any things or thoughts that would provoke them to be rebellious
- Don't show your frustrations on them - Learn to control your anger, share expectations with proper voice modulation. Don't physically abuse them and push them to hit back or shout back and lose your respect
- Don't tell them you are busy- They will stop coming to you when they need you. What ever may be the busy schedules, keep a small amount of time reserved to talk to them every day as a routine, just when they come back from school, call them and ask what happened. This sharing will give you a perspective on whats happening to their lives
- Don't set wrong precedents. Tell them smoking is injurious to health and drinking can be dangerous. Do it in private if you need to. When you are find that they are getting into the habits that concern you, talk to them softly and tell them the consequences. Don't confront
- Don't take loans and show them it is ok. Teach them to manage their ends within the means. It is not ok to take loans and do big things. Tell them taking and giving money between friends actually spoil friendships and relationships
- Don't stick to your dream - let them build their own careers. Don't push your ideas or unfulfilled dreams on to them and burden them
- Don't leave your parents in oldage homes. Take care of them abundantly with care and affection. This will teach your children to respect grand parents and learn from them. It is not ok to abandon oldage elders what may come.
- Don't intrude into their privacy. Children today want to be more independent. So talk to them friendly way and let them share their tiny secrets. Don't fiddle with their phones and break their trust in you. It is ok to let them have their own space. If you are open enough and approachable, they will reach out to you
- Don't tell anything that will burden their future or scare them off. Don't keep on whining if you have quit your job to take care of them, or had to take loans to fund education. They have not asked you to sacrifice anything for them. So don't make them feel guilty for your pains and burdens.
- Don't do anything that you were not comfortable when you were a child. Teach them to understand bad touch and good touch. Not to even trust and get closer physically to the closest of relatives for that is the first treat for sexual exploitation of children.
Being a modern day parent is not only challenging but also very complex role to play. Few things reflecting on how we were as children and how we have to be as parents will go a long way in shaping up the future of our children. Let them live their lives and dream big and chase their own lives. Who knows... there may be a Dr.Kalam waiting in your child to explore and become one.
Enjoy being a modern day parent. Parenting is a huge and divine responsibility. Enjoy the same to the fullest. Our children will grow faster and make our homes empty-nests sooner than we can even think of. So spend as much time as you can with them, when it is not too late. Love and celebrate every day of life passionately and with a penultimate purpose of being happy. Success, Wealth, Fame, and rest will automatically follow
God bless you all!
