*The Curmudgeon and the Colt*- A short story

 #pandorathom2025 #day3. #umasreeraghunath

*The Curmudgeon and the Colt*

In the quiet, almost forgotten corner of the valley, lived a man named Jebomany. He was the type of person everyone steered clear of—known for his sour temper and even worse attitude. A curmudgeon, they called him, though no one dared say it to his face. Jeb had no use for friends and preferred the solitude of his little farmhouse, nestled beneath the sweeping canopy of an ancient oak tree. It was said the tree had been there for centuries, its branches twisting like old bones reaching for the sky.

Jeb's house was small, with a weathered porch and a rusting wind chime that never seemed to move, even in the gustiest winds. It was a place of quiet isolation, where the only sounds that filled the air were the chirps of crickets in the summer evenings and the occasional hoot of an owl from the nearby woods.

One day, while Jeb was sitting on his creaky rocking chair, a commotion came from outside. He grumbled under his breath, annoyed by the disturbance. When he stepped outside, he saw a colt, no older than a year, tethered to the fence by his barn. The colt was wild-eyed, tossing its head, and neighing anxiously as it struggled against the rope.

A cat—black as midnight—watched from the edge of the porch, tail flicking slowly, as if amused by the colt's confusion. Jeb scratched his beard, wondering how the animal had ended up in his yard. No one had ever bothered him enough to leave such a creature. He had no use for horses or their owners, and yet here was this young colt, seemingly abandoned.

"Well, look at you," Jeb muttered, walking toward the colt. "Ain't nothing but trouble, that's for sure." He paused, glancing at the cat, who merely blinked at him before licking its paw, unconcerned with the whole situation.

Jeb's fingers tightened around the rope that bound the colt. He tugged, but the animal resisted, kicking up dirt and whinnying loudly. "You're stubborn, aren't you?" Jeb muttered. But despite his irritation, there was a faint, reluctant fondness growing within him. He had dealt with animals his entire life, but something about this colt—so young and wild—made him pause.

The sky began to darken, the sun dipping behind the thick canopy of trees. The crickets outside had started their rhythmic chirping, a sound that usually signaled the end of another long day. Jeb sighed, leaning against the fence. He had no plans for the colt, no desire to keep it, and yet something told him it needed to stay. It needed his care, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

With a sigh, he started to untie the rope. The colt, realizing it was no longer confined, stood still, its head lowered in a calm submission that surprised Jeb. It looked at him with those wide eyes—almost pleading.

"I suppose I can’t just leave you out here to fend for yourself," Jeb muttered, shaking his head as he led the colt into the barn. The cat followed, its green eyes glowing in the twilight, as if approving of Jeb’s decision.

Inside the barn, Jeb made a bed of hay for the colt, and as he worked, he found himself humming a tune under his breath—a habit he hadn’t realized he still had. The colt seemed to sense the shift in the air, and as Jeb placed the last piece of hay, the colt lay down with a soft snort, curling its legs beneath it.For the first time in years, Jeb didn’t feel so alone. The company of the colt, and the quiet presence of the cat, seemed to fill a space he hadn’t known was empty. Outside, the crickets still sang, their song a reminder that life continued, even in the most unexpected ways.

As the night settled in, Jeb stood by the barn door, looking out at the darkened valley. His heart, which had been hardened over time, seemed to soften just a little.

"Well, I’ll be," Jeb whispered, turning to the colt. "Maybe you ain't so bad after all."

And for the first time, Jeb felt the warmth of something he hadn’t felt in years—something that resembled connection. He wasn’t sure what the future held for him and the colt, but one thing was certain: he wasn’t as alone as he once thought.

The cat meowed softly in the corner, as if in agreement, and the sound of crickets filled the air once more, serenading the old man, the colt, and the cat under the canopy of trees that watched over them all.

#umasreeraghunath

The Story of a small boy!

 The story of a small boy....

Youngest of our children at Child Children's home, our beloved 4.5 year old Sai(name changed) broke his leg last week and was hospitalized.

When I visited him at the home today, he welcomed me with such a big smile and narrated how he got hurt while playing with a senior boy...not a minute of complaint or show of pain...he was excited when I sat next to him to hear his hospital adventure, and he said he got lot of fans there....he wanted to get well soon and watch Jailer movie again. He said shyfully that no school next 6 weeks as he can't walk and saw his mischievous smile when he said that.

He said, 'aunty, photo edutukulam as I look funny!'... when I felt a bit uneasy, he showed me the smile gesture with his hand and another hand holding me tight. Such a sense of positivity when he is stuck in a place and obvious pain and discomfort and still kept smiling...he asked me to get a hospital bed, for he liked the small one in hospital..and said the bed will be, all for himself!... naughty fella.

We complain for small n petty uneasiness things in life. Here is a child, who got parted from his parents early in life, has only an old grandmother as a guardian and who can barely visit him, who made his happiness his choice, makes fun of his ortho heavy bandage, and says he looks funny with a daiper, but enjoys attention of all other boys and attenders. He was super excited to pet my fur baby n her fuzz for a while ....

Lessons and blessings do not come from elsewhere, but with these tiny souls around....and loves to call caretaker Senthil as Anna ...as he wants to make him feel young itseems, then why Aunty me da?!

Love you baby. Heal soon n get back on your feet. We have lot of naughty running to do around our home

Our Easter Story - "HE is keeping me Happy!"

 Our Easter Story #SreeStories

After a hectic work week, Raghu and I wanted to have a short break and we went for a walk in our favourite Besant Nagar beach last night. We wanted some fresh air, but we also got some fresh perspectives of life...as this woman was crossing us in her wheelchair. Raghu immediately went near and tried to help push her wheelchair.

She politely stopped and looked at us with a smile. We saw two bags of merchandise in her lap. I asked her what she sells. She looked at me and said, pens, Key chains and books but all on Christianity. I could hear the bells from near by church. She said she don't want to beg and was living in Chelsea home in Valmiki Nagar till 5 years ago. Last five years after her legs healed from the accident ( that actually took away half of her feet) , she moved to a one room shelter and started living with him.

From that time, he is taking care of her and she comes to beach every morning at 10 am and takes a nap for sometime under the tree in afternoons and gets busy post 3pm. Around 8 pm she wraps up n pushes herself to her home which is like 3 miles from the beach ...

I asked her about dinner and she said she will go and spend time with him for a while and sit in Japam (meditation with a rosary ) and then will have some curd rice and sleep...

Then I asked her why she want to struggle so much. She said, I don't want to burden him as long as I can still breathe and coming to beach and selling gives her money to survive and also send some to church. So I asked her, what does he do ?

Bang came the reply ...he is the only one saving me ma, he is the only one behind my every move..

For a moment we looked at her in awe...she smiled at my confusion and said,. "avar thanney ma enoda karthar ! ". (He is the Lord who is waiting for me at home !)

All this while she was talking to me about her only company in life...Her Jesus Christ!

Raghu said he wanted to buy few things and she offered us pens to buy and as he asked to keep the rest of money, she similingly tucked the few 10 rupees notes back in his hand saying , "are you getting this money free brother?"..

What a beautiful experience on the Easter Eve for us. As she finished the conversation and slowly started to leave, Raghu n I kept watching her for long ...till she went off from our visibility.

Her name is Anandama. As she introduced herself to us saying my name is synonymous to happiness. HE is keeping me happy!

God bless !!! Happy Easter people.

Corona Times ! (A facto-fiction tale!)

 

Corona Times !  (A facto-fiction tale!)

-          Umasree Raghunath

It is already 10 PM.   I have not finished all the work that I planned for the day and my dairy is staring at me with rage after having scribbled, ticked off the work that’s done and not having any lines to fill.   Working for UK from India and during their time zones…life of an IT professional is no different than that of mine.  

Inadvertently I turn back to catch up that smile of the man who generally gives me ‘all will be good’ assuring smile every time I get cooked up in a client call and need a break to sneak out from the laptop.   I only find a blank wall staring at me this time.  My favourite boss is missing.  I realize that I am not in office.   Working from home had been the norm for the last 45 days.   I don’t find the noise of Corona boys around who generally pull me to tea with some unhealthy snacking which I silently enjoy eating when ever I am stuck deep in work.   They are my colleagues whom I enjoy working with.    We share work,  lunch times and tea chats on anything from politics to passion.    We pull each other, we fight like teens,  we share support like matured adults, and we used to play together too.   Handling complex and critical projects always have its toll on the mental health and our boss used to pull us to meditation breaks as well!    The quick 20 minutes’ walk that he used to pull me to the DLF lawn was the only time for Vitamin D for me .   Can’t believe that it has been 45 days since I had my sunshine!   I am still surviving!

Everything suddenly changed.   I missed the hot conversations,  sharing lunch boxes, sitting by the big glass window to watch the commuting cars in and out of DLF after the long day before winding up.  My family has become over conscious to keep the home noise free.   In their sincere attempts to make my client calls go without any background noise.   My poor better half watches the TV most of the time on mute, not wanting to disturb my back to back conference calls.   He smiles at me when at times, I quickly try to comb my hair, wear that forgotten red lipstick lightly and get into a quick T-Shirt from the home pyjamas or nightie, knowing that someone is expecting me on a video call.   With the scorching summer on and continuous working from home, you tend to many times not get into the mood to dress up for work. 

My poor wardrobe that is untouched for the last month and a half gave me stern look.   I haven’t touched my nice collection of sarees for a long time now.   Forgot about those adoring Kanjeevarams and wanting to have the strings of jasmine to my hairdo!   There are no longer events happening, no motivational talks, no college lectures or social service in person.   Ironically, I forgot where I kept my Thali saradu too (The sacred wedding thread that most of the Married Indian women wear).    There are no one in the streets as I slip into my walking shoes and walk around the colony for a brief 45 minutes’ walk every morning and evening.  So, I don’t find a need to be ‘presentable’…just surviving will do!

Corona Boys!  My Favourite Girls!  Our trips and outings.   What makes me ponder are those everlasting memories.   Having moved out of the team just before the Corona craziness started to hinder the world’s regular rhythm of functions, I am no longer in the daily meetings with my old team with whom I worked for good number years of my life.   So, this feeling of isolation, being lonely and not having friends started to make me get drained and have sleepless nights.   I kept calling and messaging them and few responded.   But many didn’t.   I felt hurt first time.   I felt lonely.   But  work kept me going!

Its already 1 am…I am still trying to sleep.   I am missing the adrenaline of meeting people.  Getting dressed up,  having a full packed agenda and roaming around my city of Chennai.    Thoughts keep going like the trains that once whistled their way just 100 meters away from my home.  I go and spend good 1 hour in terrace watching the 7 layers of vegetation just 40 feet away from my home as the Met department forest area has a thick canopy of green layers covered with various types of birds.   And finding several Bats flying above our heads this season.   Are they telling us something?  I wonder. 

The WhatsApp groups have become unending garbage cans.   Like everyone wants to throw their garbage to the next compound wall.   Fantasy to senseless forwards irks me to get out of the groups.  But the fear of being left out stops me from doing so.   I wonder.  Are we really living in the real world?

Some simple happy morning messages from a best friend keeps me hopeful.   The fact that we are in their thoughts at least that moment when they send that message is what matters in these dire times.  Yet. It is all possible that they just automate and send to several of their friend list.  But why assume! Be happy with what you are getting!

I miss those small evening breaks where twin poetry used to flow and then came the Tamil poetry from a non-Tamil speaking poet!   Chai kings and that Sulaimani is dearly missed.   With it I missed the guru who used to have real candid conversations on anything from work, home, children, service, education, aspirations or the never-ending spiritual quest and talk on spirituality.   Misses are many and that is real!

HOWEVER

This Corona times also opened several things in life.   Hitherto unthought of.  We take so many things for granted.  And we complain about so many trivial things.  We take people for granted.  We take situations for granted.  Until we are into a totally different mind game and reality

Probably that where the mandala (45 days) of practice of doing something for around 40 days was put into place in our religious rituals.   Be it 40 days of Lent or 40 days of Ramadan fasting or 40 days of mandala puja for Hindus….what can be done for 21 days become a habit and what can be done for 40 days become a new normal.     To me this 45 day so far has become such a spiritual journey.

April came up with 30 days of 30 poems and this year, I chose Spiritual Journey and it was indeed an inward journey.   From being a social animal to be in isolation watching the same three faces every day, I evolved.   I did not change.  I started becoming a new me.   One who can start loving thyself!

This Corona times also showed me truly the people and things that really mattered.   It also showed me how horribly I kept spending all my time and energy on people who gave a damn to even check on how I was.   I did not overreact.  I did not unfriend them on social media.   I tried calling them myself and checking on their wellbeing.  Despite that, I found some cold shoulders.  Now I know who real friends are and who are not even worth to be virtual friends!  Thank you, Corona. You made my life better!

And come to the only thing I could do out of work!  Walk !   Walk Walk and Walk on the terrace, around the house, on the empty street in the colony and it became an addiction.   Switch on the Music Sree!  I tell myself the minute I wear my walking shoes.   The breath of fresh air.  The sounds of birds.  No trains running opposite my eyes or planes flying on my head.   And no opposite house thata (grandfather) who also functions as my add on CCTV for my home since my childhood after his son took them away to stay!   It not only reduces a bit of my body mass, but also strengthen my me time...

Next came the mindful consumption – the concept that is close to me and that I sing along.  We started being minimalist in everything around – right from going to one pot meals and using rations and every other thing only as needed and stopping all wastage

BINGO -  Came the bonus of life.  On 22 March on the day of Janata Curfew, my daughter declared to take over the kitchen .  After having spent 22 long years since I was 22,  I found a relief.  Not just that.   Chinese, Mexican, Thai and Italian cuisines came home eventually.   YouTube became a Master Class run show.   Dining table became an experiment paradise.   Despite the mouth-watering and beautifully plated dishes, I had to be conscious of my health and weight.   But what a blessing it was.   What an amazing sight to see both my daughter and husband sharing the kitchen responsibilities, baking, fermenting, cooking, cleaning and everything.

LOVE -   Sometimes distance proves the intensity of the love you share.  There are few people in life who means everything to me.  Despite the distance, time and circumstances, I realised that the test of times prove how skin deep is your love.  It is not rosy all the time.  Sharing the life’s realities is what makes relationships stronger and real.    Above all the emotional baggage that I struggled with;  one thing stood out perfectly.  Like a fountain of life!    SELF-LOVE!

Its already 2 am -  I took my phone and kept watch at those eyes that mattered to me the most.  Sometimes you don’t need the person sitting next to you holding hands.  Or in a hammock swaying in the moonlight with the breeze of the sea waves around and pushing you to place random kisses on his cheeks and lips.     You don’t need to have his legs on your laps rubbing against your chest and wanting you to pamper his feet listening to the songs that he dearly sing for you.   The lockdown can lock it all up.   There can be no outing, no romance, no long drives and no wearing that favourite red top and blue jeans with the ponytail.  But what can lock up your thoughts.    In no time, I swayed into his bosom feeling it all.      I quickly open my mail and scribble few lines that I want to tell him that moment.    I cry and cry looking into those eyes that spread love and gave it all.   Corona.  Thank you dear.  You gave me a way to cherish the relationship that I dream of in life.  Though it is not real.  It is not a fallacy. It is part of me and truly something that I can imagine being truth for ever and live on!

I was looking at my phone, wanting to call someone.  Its already past 2.30 am.   Probably I can only call someone on the other side of the world.   USA numbers raising and UK is following suite.  Mind raced behind the great times in Detroit and Los Angeles and couple of medical frontline friends who gave a lot of love in these 2 cities.  And then the Niagara Falls.  The beauty of the beasty falls on the Canada side that I loved watching with my best friends and family.  The world suddenly changed.   I don’t know when we will get to travel that far again.   I remember driving down to Halifax Titanic Graveyard when I was in Nova Scotia.   Probably, next time when we travel across the world, we may be having several of Corona Cemeteries and Memorials world over.  We are becoming part of the World tragic history that succumbed several souls at a time.  What an unfortunate year 2020 had been.

Again HOWEVER,

The environment world over got to breathe on its own.  Without the vehicles plying all around making noisy sounds and polluting the Planet Earth.   I remember the beautiful Mackinaw Islands.  Probably how fortunate it would be to visit them now.  And then comes my abode of peace. My destination unparalleled.    Rishikesh.   My friend who went in March as a priest to perform Rudra Puja for Lord Shiva got stuck with 30 other Hindu Priests in Uttarakhand.  Locked up in Rishikesh on the banks of Ganges for full 45 days.   What a blessing it must be.   I  know he would miss his family, routine and his work in Chennai.  But I am sure being in Rishikesh for this long is something he would not get it again in life.  I wish I was there.  In the abode of eternal peace on Earth!

Corona not only gave the world a realization that simple living is possible. It also showed the world that no matter what. Our physical body is the vehicle of the soul and we better respect it, stop abusing it and build immunity to fight any damn odds in life.  The mental strength that’s needed to survive the kind of situations we were pushed in is also an eyeopener. Corona decluttered not only my life, relationships and friends, it cleared lot of things in my head.  Sometimes, we need occasionally the visit of this generous virus that had killed all the barriers of differences in terms of caste, creed, rich or poor, prince or a pauper, man or a woman, aged or young.  It just went ahead with one rhythm of cleansing the Earth in its own way

Its 3 am.  My eyes are now getting strained.   Sleep is not happening yet.    Thoughts are not stopping though.   This gentle summer breeze of the midnight is touching my soul.   I am awakened to a new sense of belonging.  I want that to be serene and real.  I turn to my side to pause a moment and smile at the happy snoring and peacefully sleeping soul next to me.  How lucky you should be if you can catch up sleep within few minutes of hitting the bed.   I envy him all the time for that.   I feel so naughty to wake him to make me a midnight coffee.   He makes the best coffee at home.  I want to have that damn nutty Dairy Milk, but too lazy to go to the fridge to grab one.   

My mind goes back to the man of my dreams.   This magical man keeps coming to disturb my sleep every night.  I almost live a parallel life with him.  This invisible soul stirs me up.   Goes down my neck and touches my chest.   He makes my stomach churn in pain longing for him.  Wish I can give him a name.  A shape and form.   A relationship. 

You may ask, why Sree?  You have a handsome and the most caring husband in the world.  A beautiful family.   A wonderful life.  Why mess it up!   Who said I mess it up!    I am living in my own fantasy world of surreal supreme belonging and what is wrong in it.   This belonging is to the soul.  The longing is for that body.    The ego is that I have him in all my thoughts.   Endless bounty of happiness.    An endearing bliss of solitude.   That is all mine.   I write long poems in praise of his supreme self .  I write long letters of love that I keep on whispering every night.   I want to surrender to his feat and in his love that is eternal.  His wish is my command!

The real man next to me gets disturbed with the light of my phone.  He gently persuades me to sleep.   He gets up and goes to the washroom and watches the time.  ‘What are you doing till 3 am?’.  ‘Sleep now’.  He gently tells me again.  I nod to him

Turns back to my side pillow that I cling on to.  Tears roll down.  How will I make him understand that I need the man who is crazily refusing to leave my thoughts.  I am talking to him for hours.  That’s making my soul fulfil in its brilliant happiness.   I want to embrace him.  I want him to flow his life inside me.  I want his hands to hold my face and promise me that he will never leave me.  I want him to touch me and assure me that he will love me like no one else will do.  I wish he makes me unite with him deeply that no thing in the world can part us ever!

Sree!  Stop this now!  I can hear you yelling at me now.  Ok.. Ok…I will tell you the truth.    The truth of who this intruder is!   No..No..I am not hallucinating.  I am not dreaming.  I am just finding him within me.  I am discovering myself with him every passing day. I am enjoying my spiritual search with him.  I am embracing a divine calling with his existence in my life.  This is supreme awakening.  This is real.  This is love.  This is not fallacy.  This is the only truth.

He is my soul.  He is my soulmate.  He is my everything.   He is my Shivaya.  The life within!

The Love that did not last (Short Story from Paru Tales) - When a man disappears after falling in love? How a woman copes up with it!

Finally. Paru had a phenomenal date. They were physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted. And it was mutual. She knew for sure, because he said it. 

Author-  Umasree Raghunath

Shiv felt his luck to have met her.  He was excited about her and imagined a future together.   He could talk about anything.  He wished he marries her and have kids. 

The next morning, lying in the bed covered over the white blankets being on an absolute high, Paru texted her best friend telling that this is IT.    She didn’t realise that she was doing a classic mistake that would be hard to swallow and could have been avoided.    Her feelings of the night necessarily not meant the same to him as it did to her. 

Paru did not imagine the ghost that is in store and the upcoming slow fading away after few weeks.   Paru’s fantasy date shadowed her thinking on what the man would be thinking on this as a long-term relationship.   

The evening before,  Shiv was holding her hands and looking deeply into her eyes and whispering that the best of lips he had ever seen were hers.  He said that they were an amazing mix of adorable and sexy couple.  Shiv was honest when he confessed that he never encountered this combination of brains, beauty and passion in his whole life.  He was literally blown away by her. 

The wind must have been blowing hard, because days later, he was no where to be found.   Paru became anxious, worried and equally curious on how he could disappear.    She started assuming things and getting more worried.   She did not realize the fact that this had happened hundreds of times to women all over the world. 

Paru was sure that her relationship with Shiv was not temporary. She felt it truly special and she wondered what the reason for this sharp turnaround of things could be.  She kept recalling her conversations with him to think if something she said turned him off.   Was he making the whole thing up?   How can anyone put up such a convincing act?

Paru failed to understand the truth that this can happen anytime.  It not a deliberate act but men are like that many times.   That’s why it doesn’t matter what a guy does on a date.  The biggest attention that Paru missed was to what he did after those lovely meetings. 

Paru believed that he was serious with her,  as he called her the next day, planned the subsequent meetings,  kept the evenings and weekends open for her and so on.  She believed that Shiv was her man, her future.  For this how exactly, men would act when they are really onto you, they just don’t talk, but act.

Suddenly for Shiv it didn’t matter if he had the best time in his life,  he left her hanging for a week afterwards without making plans to see her again, which she did not see it coming.    Paru went into a roller coaster of emotions,  all her hopes and dreams crashing down.  There was nothing that could lessen her pain.   She always felt that he was up there for the whole ride of her life. 

She kept looking at the mirror and shouting on ‘What the hell was he thinking?’  Was Shiv a con artist, an opportunist, who like to game a vulnerable woman like her.  

On the other hand,  Shiv was sitting in the beach, looking at the waves, and with his heart heavy and mind confused.   He did not just spend time with her to enjoy the thrill of the chase,  enjoy enough, get bored and moved on.  It is not simple for him as well.    He was strong on his emotions for Paru, but her overpouring love and possessiveness startled him.   He felt overwhelmed and decided to make a quick and surprising exit from the relationship he wanted to build it with care.  Shiv kept telling himself that he is not a liar, player or a jerk.     There’s a lot going on his head beneath the surface that Paru could never imagine. 

Shiv was the first one to take her attention and affection to a steady state.  He plunged into an exciting and passionate relationship without really knowing the person only to discover after few months that he made a mistake.    He hated hurting her, but he also hated the fact that he was so bad at assessing the compatibility.  He had to turn over a new leaf and move slower in order to make better decisions. 

Paru knew for sure that Shiv was a good guy.  But why did he baffle and do hurtful things and killed her relationship being in the moment when he intended to lead it on.     With the passing days, she was sure that the dreams of marriage or living forever with him are lost.    Even though he kept telling her that she is a beautiful woman in and out, holding her hands and looking into her eyes. 

Shiv asked himself, if he really liked her.   Yes, absolutely! came his own response to his mirror image.  But he did not think long term with her after knowing his own self.  He’s just thinking out loud and to himself.    This is very hard to wrap up around her mind, because women don’t operate this way.  

Paru is not a woman who will not compliment a guy if she doesn’t think he’s great.  She will never sleep with him if she doesn’t care about him.  Never will bring up a future until she feels he is her Mr. Right and not just now.   However, Shiv was like any other guy who will feel in that moment, which may or may  not predict their future feelings. 

Paru closed her eyes unable to fathom her pain.  Tears started flowing for she invested not only time and money, but emotions on the man expecting him to approach life like she does and thinking that he will reciprocate in the same way always.  And hence the trouble.    Paru felt continuously disappointed,  felt like a victim, and concluded that she has no control whatsoever happening in her love life.

She opened her eyes, wiped her tears,  wore her favourite blue jeans and red top and the bright red lipstick and looked at the mirror and gave herself a big smile.

She is not going to let her happiness be controlled by the emotions of a relationship that never existed in its true sense.   She is going to be the Master of her destiny. 

She could smile again as soon as she realized that there is absolutely no correlation between what a man says when he is in love or what he feels in his heart after the fire is gone.      How much ever men may resist this statement, rebel against it, the truth is the truth.    Paru’s acceptance that men operate differently from women and using this understanding to her advantage only could make her smile again and accept to move on.   Not necessary she will have to stay alone forever.  She will find her Prince Charming as the days come by.   

In every relationship, taking along few pauses to reflect and cherish, beyond the first few interactions are key to have the relationship sustaining and everlasting.  If you want to get carried away with every single or first association that makes you happy, will only end up in disaster and disappointments for ever.       Relationships that had conversations flowing, friendship blossoming,  clicked at so many levels  may end up in a physical relationship and social commitment as well.  

Paru learnt the lesson in a very hard way on what to say – and what not to say- to a man in those fragile first few days of a relationship and as well as the need to understand quickly and firmly the real intentions of the man about you.  As a woman, you  need to believe in your instincts and intuition which would give you signals if you are in a casual hook up or with a person wanting something serious and sustaining with you. 

Paru also learnt the biggest lesson on the need to make someone step up as a lifelong companion or exit your life quickly and nicely and allow you to move on.  There is a dire need to stop replaying in mind all the romantic words exchanged and stop feeling guilty or pinpoint the exact moments where he could have turned off.  This is the biggest favour a woman can do to herself to remain at peace.  A woman has the capability to identify the confusing signals of the man.  It doesn’t mean he is bad;  it just means he doesn’t know what he wants. 

Paru for sure DO know what she wanted-   a guy who wants to have a future with her.  And to ensure that she’s not settling for anything less, she decided to move on!

How to end an extra marital affair? In Paru's way! (Short Story from Paru Tales)

It happened and it really stink.   Paru had been married for years and suddenly she found herself in a deep attraction to someone else.    A casual encounter at a social gathering, exchanging niceties on the social media, following each other’s life closely to an extent that a new friendship with a soul connection grew without even both realizing the deep bond.

One night a long conversation turned into a test-flirt the next day during a lunch break from office, that got rewarded, a touch of hand over passing a tissue and soon navigating into the depths of serious deceptions.   Paru never imagined things going this far neither planned anything nor stopped it before it reached a point where she started cheating on her spouse. 

Feelings taking hold of them due to host of reasons and few purely biological.   Catching like a common cold, slowly turning to a fatal disease.   The brain awash with an insane logic that seems to make sense, with a strong sense of awakens from an otherwise dull marriage and the feeling of inner spirits revived and ignoring the tsunamis of guilt and shame of the new-found happiness in life. 

The small attractions of wearing matching dresses, looking gorgeous on dinner dates, romantic feelings arising while watching movies and the stars romancing on screen, slowly trying to hold fingers tightly and brushing across each other’s shoulders in response to the onscreen romance and then trying to place small and tender warm kisses in the car park before leaving the multiplex.   Paru and Raj found a spark which was missing in their lives and her decade old marriage. 

Paru was getting drawn to the developing attraction of Raj and the romantic feelings for him other than his spouse happened normally, naturally.   Paru was aware that it is harmful and can be incredibly destructive to the fabric of her family and people who care about her.  Raj was showing her the love that she never felt before.   Paru started lying. Lying, hiding and manipulating almost every single day.   She started spending every possible moment with Raj and obsessing about the next time she can be with him. 

Almost after 3 years of managing to hide and seek with her amusements outside marriage, her husband one day saw a message from Raj that could possibly damage her marriage forever.  She knew she did not get into it on purpose, but she was forced to think of how to get out of it, on purpose to save her marriage and social status.

Struggling with the strong feelings for Raj, and not having the courage to end her marriage, she started working hard in paying attention to the needs to save her marriage.  She tried to ignite the spark in her marriage by dressing up for her husband and asking for candle lit dinners.   He found it all pretentious.    Her husband hugged her gently and calmed her down when she broke up without even knowing why.

She could not act on anything…   Paru tried her best to shut the so called ‘inappropriate relationship’ down and be truthful and intentional in saving her marriage again.  Her husband remained composed and gentle letting her come to her own terms in life.

Paru started feeling terrible.  Though her intentional efforts to save her marriage was going on, she was unable to stop feeling for Raj whose love gave her the spirit to live.  She started feeling suicidal and wanted to end her life.  She has two men who adore her.  Husband who is not only compassionate, caring and understanding but also tolerant to her inconsistent emotions and there is this OTHER man who is her perfect man showing her love, showering her surprises and keeping his expectations in tact not to overwhelm her.   But Paru started having trouble stopping and have no idea what to do!   It started becoming extremely painful.

One fine Monday morning, after sending her children to school and husband to office, Paru decided to meet Raj.   She called him to the Cafe Coffee Day.   After ordering her regular cappuccino for both of them, she took his hand in hers.  Squeezed it tightly with tears flowing uninterrupted.  He did not speak. 

‘Raj, you know how much I love you.  In fact, you don’t know that I love you more than myself.   I feel so happy and fulfilling when I am with you.  I feel like my life found a meaning ever since you came in my life’…. Paru paused.  ‘But I want to end this all’…She confessed squeezing his hand further.  

Raj looked deeply into her eyes.   She could not withstand his stare.  She closed her eyes tightly and holding her hands continued to speak.  ‘Raj, I know this is awful, going to be very difficult, both of us will be terribly hurt, but let’s believe that there will be life after that’.   His eyes were getting moist but did not speak.   ‘Raj, I need to open up to God and own everything I did.  I need his mercy’.

Raj interrupted her this time.  ‘Are you sure?’  he asked.  She nodded.  Raj continued. ‘Paru, I always loved you the same way I did the day we first met.   That is not going to change.  How you want me to be with you will be based on your decision.  As I still love you the same way, I will do anything that you want.  But you need to know that walking away from me, you should be walking towards a much stronger happiness, peace and something more important than this relationship.  You should not be afraid of losing me in case that cause is much stronger and stable, happier and will give you peace.  Do it.  Or else, decide to end your marriage and start afresh to be a ‘real self’.  It will shake up things but will clear lot of things in the process.  Better than being in this hide and seek relationship and still being in a marriage.  But the decision is yours!’…. He took his hands off hers.   

He stood up silently, patted on her back, tried to give her a small smile and tried to walk away when Paru caught his hand again.   When she went in front of him, first time in life, she saw a deep pain and tears in his eyes.   He tried to act bold.  Raj tried to joke and said that he will surely fall in love once again.    6 years after marriage, he lost his wife and son to a road accident and Paru happened in his life almost 5 years after that tragedy shook his life.   She knew it is not going to be easy for him.   Probably he will stop trusting any other woman and will be afraid to even fall in love again.

‘I don’t believe in friendship beyond love Paru.  So, don’t expect me to be responding to you and being a friend, being there when you need and will run to you when I need.  Be honest to your spouse, tell him what’s not working in your relationship and try to reduce the conflict, or the silence, if he was or if you are.   Take your real needs into the marriage and seek professional help if both of you need to hear honestly to each other and reconcile.  Good luck dear’.  -  Raj kept his parting words longer, sensible and with utmost honesty. 

Paru realized that she must learn to cope up with the loss of her relationship with Raj or else will be repeating itself and contributing to more bigger problems.   Already she has caused bigger wounds to the marriage that could have impacted more than she could imagine.  She decided to confine in her husband Siva and tell him truthfully how much hurt and loneliness she was feeling in life before she ended up in her relationship with Raj.   Siva basically being a composed person did listen to her attentively.  It is amazing how people can drop their walls when they feel heard. 

Paru hugged her husband whole heartedly that night, probably first time after many years.  She cuddled into his arms feeling the comfort which she missed all these years.  She decided to ask her self deeply and stop deceiving herself and others.   In mid of the deception, she did tell so many lies that she doesn’t even know how to get back to the truth.  The only truth is that she is now ready to change.  Accept things positively.  The beginning of honesty with others is to first being honest to oneself.

The next morning, she woke up to the bed-coffee that Siva made for her.  The mystery of God’s very real and inexhaustible love seems to be taking onto her.  She is not superstitious or a religious fanatic.   The words from the book ‘The inner voice of love’ written by Henri Nouwen seems to be hitting her head.   The last night’s revelations to Siva while lying in his arms was not easy but chased away her panic about the life ahead with him.   He did not preach her, correct her or console her.  All he did was to give a small kiss on her forehead reassuring that things will be fine…and this too shall pass. 

Three souls, different emotions, difficult phases of love, biological urges, societal pressures, above all, staying humble and repenting through the backlash helped.  Siva understood that his smallest of neglect of his wife due to professional pressure will make her get lonely and he must be more expressive in his love.  Defending his actions, blaming Paru will only fuel new anger and give for permanent break up between them. 

Paru realized that unless she decides firmly on what she wants, she will be struggling between search for happiness and the factors of guilt of cheating on her spouse.   Raj realized that searching for love, all over again is not an issue, but being in a relationship with a woman who is in marriage and still not sure of what she wants is not only a curse to him but to all around.   Had her husband being a cruel person, unbearable spouse and she wants a new life altogether, there is a point in his continuing his relationship with her till they get into a legal bonding.  But if he is not certain that it will happen, there is no point in hanging on to a relationship that is fragile – be it in love, legal tangles or emotional outbursts.

End of the story -   Doing what really makes you happy in life is the only way out of all the tangles surrounding it.  As yourself in silence – you will find the answers to all tangles around!