Thursday, September 21, 2023

My Daughter's Marriage Diaries : Part 2 : How did we get customized sarees for all events of the wedding?

 CREATIVITY

SUPPORTING A DYING ART

WEAVING DREAMS

GOING TRADITIONAL

CREATING UNIQUE MASTERPIECES


Trust me, the choices are too many for this age saree wearers!!!  At the same time, there is so much of confusion on authenticity of the fabric, too many designs and too many quick machine made material.   

One side, the traditional weaving on the "thari" - hand weaving machine is getting hard hit due to the lack of right labour with the age-old expertise and finesse.  At the same handwoven sarees have become super-expensive due to the lack of right raw material, increasing cost of threads, gold and silver used and labour cost.  The unexpected climatic conditions add to their woes.  No traditional weavers are living in riches and the art is struggling to sustain.   



My daughter being a graduate from a Fashion school that was part of preserving the traditional crafts and arts, was keen on supporting weavers for her wedding.  She was also adamant that every saree should be hand-woven, supporting the weavers and we do not bargain with them.   

We did not listen to her for the engagement and she made us atleast visit 12 shops in Chennai before selecting her kanchivaram for the engagement.  We spent multiple errands to Kanakavalli, Nalli, Kumaran, Tulsi Silks, Vara Mahalakshmi, Palam Silks, Sreenivasa,  RMKV, Pothys, and finally chose the one for engagement from T.Nagar Sundari Silks.   Her mother-in-law and she had all the enthusiasm in the world for this saree-hopping, but I got exhausted!  I am not a person who spends too much of time shopping.  So this experience was kind of drilling for me!  But I enjoyed their enthu!!!  Outcome was a beautiful traditional pink-purple saree which looked beautiful on her!   Alas!  One part done!!!



The biggest saga of sarees started after we finalized the wedding.  Trust me I wasn't ready for another running around the city.  Thankfully her dear professors in NIFT suggested super good weavers from Kanchipuram and in the annual craft-mela, she met few weavers, spoke to them, saw their process first hand and short listed couple of them.  

First week of April, she asked both the mothers, if we would like to join her to Kanchipuram.  Both of us had work, but the curiosity made me take a day off and join her, and I pulled my sister-in-law along for support,

We didn't know that Friday was the day, the TTDC Thayar Temple (Mahalakshmi Temple in T.Nagar) was having its kubabishekam (Opening Ceremony) and we crossed the bridge as we heard the loud temple bells.   It started pouring that day. (Genuine weavers would only meet on Fridays for discussing on the wedding sarees I guess) .  We felt the rain as the divine blessings in the hot summer!

That day, we met the weavers (very senior weaver and his son who is now managing the business) and they showed us the whole process.  They showed us the prints and designs (paper-back) which were more than 100 years old.  The manual labour involved was super intense and the quality of the threads were top-notch.   The color-schemes were mind-blowing! It was truly a different world that I had no knowledge of!

Following week, we had her in-laws joining us and we went to Kanchi Kamakshi temple and then to the weavers.  This time, the weavers helped us see the threads,  the silks that would be used, and many more additional color palettes.   Her in-laws were also super happy to see the process despite the fact that this would be expensive and time-consuming.   Good things come to those who know to wait!!


Thankfully, the young couple were sure of the colors they want for the wedding.   The traditional araku (Red- brown) colour for wedding saree was confirmed.  My daughter wanted to design her own saree.   She took pictures of the designs she liked with peacocks,  elephants, flowers, kolams etc.   She wanted to use the same thought process and created her unique designs.    I wanted to recreate the saree my mother gifted for my wedding.  A beautiful traditional green with araku border.   She was up for it and gift from the parents home.  



Then came the big one.  The Reception dress!  We mothers were surprised when she said, that she wanted to go traditional for the reception, again in her favorite kanchivaram!   This time she was having her inspiration story board.   Celluloid worlds divas Rekha and Sumalatha who dorned in Gold emblazed sarees earlier.  The bride wanted a pure silk (60 counts silk) in Gold and she choose couple of threads for dyeing.   Weaver cautioned her saying that the color she has in mind and the actual color of the saree would have differences and they are going to dye the threads and it depends on the combinations.   She was game for it!   I started getting nervous.  I don't her to refuse taking the saree after weaving if it does not match her story board!    As expected the saree after 8 weeks of weaving came up differently!!!!   But thankfully, it exceeded her expectations!!!!   I thanked God for the saree was not only expensive but it involved intense labor of 3 weavers for 8 odd weeks.   How relieved I was!!!



I was super excited to order few more sarees, in pink with violet border,  green with red border, half-white with pink border for me and my sisters and sister-in-law.    The weaver initially screwed up the white one and had to redo the work (she doesn't settle for anything less in quality)  Similarly, we ordered one yellow one in Mat format (Pai madi) and it also wasn't as we expected but we accepted it as it was purely customized and he can't sell outside.  So challenges in sarees were all part of the wedding gallata. 



Same time, weavers helped us to pick plenty of machine made sarees from the market, wholesalers, top rated shops in Kanchipuram for most of my extended family, close relatives and friends and also silk vesties for men.  They came along with us and patiently explained what is best in the budgets we wanted.  They ensured, that we get good quality one's from the market.   They hinted us what not to pick at every stage of buying.   We did at-least 6 to 7 times errands to Kanchipuram,  spent hours of time to ensure, all our clan are dressed up beautifully for the wedding.   RMKV and Ramraj Cottons was our go to place for men's wear and they customized most of our requirements.   



Thankfully, our efforts turned into super duper colourful wedding.  Everyone looked in their best.  Especially the bride and groom and their galaxy of friends!   

Some one asked me, why I spent so much! I replied that it is my way of thanking all those who helped us travel from zero to this far.  In was in fact, I took this as an opportunity and a moment of gratitude especially  to my dad and mom's siblings, cousins for they helped my mother sail through 3 of our weddings single handedly.  Several of my friends stood with me for ages when I could have just withered away.  I wanted all of them to be part of our 'pandaga' (festival of joy).   We started this gifting of sarees with our important family deities and I am sure they showered their blessings on all.  

Thank you Mom and Dad for watching over us!  I hope we made you happy in heavens!   We need all your blessings !!!

This is our story,  Our Sarees Story!!!