Finally. Paru had a phenomenal date. They were physically,
emotionally, and mentally attracted. And it was mutual. She knew for sure,
because he said it.
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| Author- Umasree Raghunath |
Shiv felt his luck to have met her. He was excited about her and imagined a
future together. He could talk about
anything. He wished he marries her and
have kids.
The next morning, lying in the bed covered over the white
blankets being on an absolute high, Paru texted her best friend telling that this
is IT. She didn’t realise that she was
doing a classic mistake that would be hard to swallow and could have been
avoided. Her feelings of the night
necessarily not meant the same to him as it did to her.
Paru did not imagine the ghost that is in store and the upcoming
slow fading away after few weeks. Paru’s
fantasy date shadowed her thinking on what the man would be thinking on this as
a long-term relationship.
The evening before, Shiv
was holding her hands and looking deeply into her eyes and whispering that the
best of lips he had ever seen were hers.
He said that they were an amazing mix of adorable and sexy couple. Shiv was honest when he confessed that he
never encountered this combination of brains, beauty and passion in his whole
life. He was literally blown away by
her.
The wind must have been blowing hard, because days later, he was no where to be
found. Paru became anxious, worried and
equally curious on how he could disappear.
She started assuming things and getting more worried. She did not realize the fact that this had
happened hundreds of times to women all over the world.
Paru was sure that her relationship with Shiv was not temporary.
She felt it truly special and she wondered what the reason for this sharp
turnaround of things could be. She kept
recalling her conversations with him to think if something she said turned him off. Was he making the whole thing up? How can anyone put up such a convincing act?
Paru failed to understand the truth that this can happen
anytime. It not a deliberate act but men
are like that many times. That’s why it
doesn’t matter what a guy does on a date.
The biggest attention that Paru missed was to what he did after those
lovely meetings.
Paru believed that he was serious with her, as he called her the next day, planned the
subsequent meetings, kept the evenings
and weekends open for her and so on. She
believed that Shiv was her man, her future.
For this how exactly, men would act when they are really onto you, they
just don’t talk, but act.
Suddenly for Shiv it didn’t matter if he had the best time in
his life, he left her hanging for a week
afterwards without making plans to see her again, which she did not see it
coming. Paru went into a roller coaster
of emotions, all her hopes and dreams
crashing down. There was nothing that
could lessen her pain. She always felt
that he was up there for the whole ride of her life.
She kept looking at the mirror and shouting on ‘What the hell
was he thinking?’ Was Shiv a con artist,
an opportunist, who like to game a vulnerable woman like her.
Shiv was the first one to take her attention and affection to a
steady state. He plunged into an
exciting and passionate relationship without really knowing the person only to
discover after few months that he made a mistake. He hated hurting her, but he also hated the
fact that he was so bad at assessing the compatibility. He had to turn over a new leaf and move
slower in order to make better decisions.
Paru knew for sure that Shiv was a good guy. But why did he baffle and do hurtful things
and killed her relationship being in the moment when he intended to lead it
on. With the passing days, she was
sure that the dreams of marriage or living forever with him are lost. Even though he kept telling her that she is
a beautiful woman in and out, holding her hands and looking into her eyes.
Shiv asked himself, if he really liked her. Yes, absolutely! came his own response to
his mirror image. But he did not think long
term with her after knowing his own self.
He’s just thinking out loud and to himself. This is very hard to wrap up around her
mind, because women don’t operate this way.
Paru is not a woman who will not compliment a guy if she doesn’t
think he’s great. She will never sleep
with him if she doesn’t care about him.
Never will bring up a future until she feels he is her Mr. Right and not
just now. However, Shiv was like any
other guy who will feel in that moment, which may or may not predict their future feelings.
Paru closed her eyes unable to fathom her pain. Tears started flowing for she invested not
only time and money, but emotions on the man expecting him to approach life
like she does and thinking that he will reciprocate in the same way
always. And hence the trouble. Paru felt continuously disappointed, felt like a victim, and concluded that she
has no control whatsoever happening in her love life.
She opened her eyes, wiped her tears, wore her favourite blue jeans and red top and
the bright red lipstick and looked at the mirror and gave herself a big smile.
She is not going to let her happiness be controlled by the emotions
of a relationship that never existed in its true sense. She is going to be the Master of her
destiny.
She could smile again as soon as she realized that there is
absolutely no correlation between what a man says when he is in love or what he
feels in his heart after the fire is gone.
How much ever men may resist this statement, rebel against it, the truth
is the truth. Paru’s acceptance that
men operate differently from women and using this understanding to her advantage
only could make her smile again and accept to move on. Not necessary she will have to stay alone
forever. She will find her Prince
Charming as the days come by.
In every relationship, taking along few pauses to reflect and
cherish, beyond the first few interactions are key to have the relationship
sustaining and everlasting. If you want
to get carried away with every single or first association that makes you
happy, will only end up in disaster and disappointments for ever. Relationships that had conversations
flowing, friendship blossoming, clicked
at so many levels may end up in a
physical relationship and social commitment as well.
Paru learnt the lesson in a very hard way on what to say – and what
not to say- to a man in those fragile first few days of a relationship and as
well as the need to understand quickly and firmly the real intentions of the
man about you. As a woman, you need to believe in your instincts and
intuition which would give you signals if you are in a casual hook up or with a
person wanting something serious and sustaining with you.
Paru also learnt the biggest lesson on the need to make someone
step up as a lifelong companion or exit your life quickly and nicely and allow
you to move on. There is a dire need to
stop replaying in mind all the romantic words exchanged and stop feeling guilty
or pinpoint the exact moments where he could have turned off. This is the biggest favour a woman can do to
herself to remain at peace. A woman has
the capability to identify the confusing signals of the man. It doesn’t mean he is bad; it just means he doesn’t know what he
wants.
Paru for sure DO know what she wanted- a guy who wants to have a future with
her. And to ensure that she’s not
settling for anything less, she decided to move on!
