I felt a tight
slap on my face last night.
On a usual video
call with my daughter, we both were working on our respective tasks keeping the
call on. I was watching ‘Gaddar Songs’ in YouTube, my biggest connect to the
folklore, especially whenever I miss my dad. He used to be part of the NGO
movement in the then united Andhra Pradesh, and couple of instances made my
elder sister, sing as well during those meetings.
When Gaddar
passed away in Aug 2023, the loss felt personal. For he was a strong influence
for two things. One is his ideology that was not only revolutionary and
inspiring for the cause he stood for, the second one is his creativity of the
lyrics he wrote, the songs he sang and the steps he danced to the Telangana
folk….
Words found
life! In his lyrics!
Songs found purpose!
In his singing!
Dance Steps
found a way forward! In creating history!
It is almost 40
years, yet the memories are eternally etched in our hearts.
Why am I writing
about Gaddar and his songs, when it is about AI and its influence in the
creative world!
That is the
exact connect!
I opened ChatGPT
and asked it to give me lyrics like the Ghaddar’s famous song, but reflecting
the today’s world. That is when Aishwarya gave me one strong statement.
“Amma, please do
not use ChatGPT in the creative space! You are killing the essence of it all!”
I felt a tight
slap on my face! A hard truth
I started
writing when I was around thirteen, scribbling verses, few lines of lyrics,
small jingles and poems, and many riddles with my neighbour brother who was a
creative genius. I was super thrilled when my first article got published in
the school magazine when I was 15. I still remember the day that my Telugu poem
was recited during the Republic Day Parade in 1990, in presence of the District
Collector.
Today, I am
feeling like a failed writer. Even after being a published Author of a best
seller in the Diversity and Inclusion space, “Simply Being Sidd’s’ in
2017, After the Floods in 2016, and
so many published poems in more than 25
anthologies of National and International repute, and close to 1000+ blogs and
articles on anything that touched me under the sun, I am stuck with the a unique writer’s block
thanks to the advent of ChatGPT in life
Last year, I
embarked on the journey to document the history of a cherished /close to heart
NGO. After months of efforts, spending most of my evenings after work, suddenly
my work felt stale! There is something missing! Life!
Hours of
discussion, documentation of the facts and events, meetings and interviews,
pages of captured notes are looking at me in pity! More than 100 pages of
written work is staring at me with no life! I cried!
Sent the script
to a well-wisher who is close to both the NGO and to me. Personally, he was the
first few reviewers of my book way back in 2017, was at my book launch and
someone who always appreciated my write-ups!
His three pages
of honest review came as a blow! Had it been any other author, they would have
abandoned the whole thing. They would have just given up!
I cried again! This
time longer. Asked my husband to fix my drink and ordered a pizza. Took a
shower and sat back at my desk. This time deciding not to give up!
I quickly went
into a self-introspection. A retro analysis of where it was going wrong! I am
not a great writer, but not a bad one either. Where did I go wrong!
It did not take
me more than 5 mins to realise the biggest mistake I did!
After every
session of collaboration with the founders of the NGO, and painstakingly typing
of the notes while talking, I used to write in my own style and language.
With the
practice of using ChatGPT and co-pilot for professional summarizations and
minuting the meetings at work, one day I tried to see how I can refine the
write up and I wanted ChatGPT magic on
the completed work by fixing the
grammatical issues and giving it a polished and publishable version. Alas! ChatGPT gave a version, that the human
stupid in me felt better than my own! I liked the tone of the paragraph, the
style better and choice of words improved. Thanks to Grammarly and other tools,
the editorial part of it was also taken care.
But you know
what, it killed something more important. The essence of it. The life in the
story! Initially I did not realise it. I kept writing and then posting in ChatGPT
for refined version and adding it to the book. As we were nearing the 4th
chapter, I sent the first draft for review to the founders. They came back
saying there is lot of repetition. Thanks to the LLM memory pulling in the
inputs from the earlier data set created by my prompts and write ups shared, it
was creating its own version with the writer in me failing to catch it early! What
I thought would add value, took away the originality in the draft I was
presenting.
It is not
important to use the AI tools for support, it is important to know its
limitations, that it can never replace the humane part of any creativity. Halfway
through the embarked journey, I am at the crossroads. I even suggested to find
an alternative author who can continue this project, instead me to trying to
adamantly push myself and bringing out something that is not worth reading. I
felt ashamed. I felt dejected and I felt totally stuck. I admitted my mistake
to the founders.
Their other
priorities took their time, and they could not help me with the process of
sincere retrospection. But I need my own redemption, and I need to be
answerable to myself, if not to anybody else.
I decided to
redo the work. Agile way of working taught me that iterations are normal. Failing
fast is ok. Rework quickly and fix the issues is the way we manage projects! Don’t
we!
So, I started
wearing my ‘original writer’ hat once again! And took 2 weeks of ‘me’ time to
go through the entire notes I captured. And currently I am re-writing many parts
of the story written so far. This time, without the intervention of the AI.
May be, I can
fix it. I will have to. And I am trying my best this time. 35 years of
experience or the last 2 years of intervention of AI, which will emerge
successful, will have to wait and see!
As poet, my
heart bled when the editors of an anthology kept asking in the WhatsApp group
to validate the work - with no AI
components in it and asking to put the content in the AI detection tools and
share the feedback. Ironically, the first time, 90% of us tried checking, it
worked. But when the editors, tried checking on their side, the LLMs already
picked the data that was verified before, and gave false results, confusing
many of us! It is getting dangerously near to impossible to find what is AI
generated or what is original from humans.
The danger is
that the creativity field is the most challenged one! Be it the media,
articles, stories, books, poems, artwork, designs, frameworks, ideations, it is
killing the original creativity.
The advent of
keyboards and devices almost wiped-out good handwriting. The advent of digital
tools almost killed the habit of book reading with the paperback version. The flash
news and breaking news that breaks our heads wiped off the morning newspapers.
Advancement of
technology is the way forward, undeniably. As a certified AI professional, I am
in the rat race already. However, the creator in me is bleeding! The writer in
me is crying! The poet in me is confused. The lyricist in me is troubled! The
new age human is at dilemma. Embracing or not embracing the new edge
technologies is the not the question. But how far, we are going to let it
replace our brains and thoughts, empathy & compassion, touching the human
side of us is the question that only time can answer!
Till then, let
me keep thinking and let me keep trying writing again. One word at a time!
