Microaggressions - How it impacts our Work culture and thought process and perspectives ?

Very recently I attended a session on microaggressions and that’s when I realized that I have been facing this all my life …nothing but triggers that challenge our emotional balance. 

It is time that we

Feel empowered to identify and challenge microaggressions to improve our culture

Identify your own unconscious bias

Be empowered to help shape the culture you want

 Microaggressions in the workplace

Microaggressions are everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to people based solely upon being members of a marginalized group

Bias in Actions & Words

 Some Shared Experiences

“I don’t plan to have any children because My husband and I are very ambitious”

My female manager, when I was first pregnant

“You are the only female member of the team. Please take charge of all birthday celebrations of the team members since you would manage it so much better!”

One of my female managers

“Your husband is a banker – so I need to allocate more increments to those who need to manage in one salary.”

My first direct manager (Male)

“I thought being a female at least you would not be so aggressive and pushy about asking for salary increases”

One of my female managers in AsiaImpact matters more than intent:

How do Microaggressions impact team members

Statements couched as compliments or harmless comments. The recipients may initially feel that they are not entitled to an emotional reaction and may have the following thought process….

•       Did I interpret that correctly?

•       Did she say what I think she said?

•       What did he mean by that?

•       Should I say something?

•       Saying something may make it worse.

•       They’ll probably think I’m overreacting.

•       Speaking up is going to hurt more than it helps

Impact matters more than intent:

•       Anxiety

•       Depression

•       Sleep difficulties

•       Diminished confidence

•       Helplessness

•       Loss of drive

•       Internal dilemma

What are the potential impacts of unchecked  micro aggressions on an organization’s culture?

Cultural effects:

•       Bad behaviors get normalized - specially when others observe and do not see any checks

•       It makes new or introverted people to clam up and not speak out  - which could translate to hiding bigger leadership behavioral aggression being unchecked

•       Toxic culture in teams, lack of collaboration and trust

•       People hesitate to bring their authentic self to work

Negative tangible outcomes impacting bottom line:

•       Low Engagement Rate

•       Low Productivity

•       Low Performance

•       Low morale

•       Loss of good talent

•       Bad reputation as a place to work

What if you are the Microaggressor?

Some positive approaches

•       Do Make the other person feel heard and follow their lead in the conversation.

•       Offer a genuine apology that acknowledges the impact and harm your comment caused.

•       Keep striving to be better. It requires grace, humility, and commitment.

Some unproductive approaches

•       Fall prey to the fundamental attribution error. You can still be a good, well-intentioned person who said something offensive.

•       Make the conversation about you. Instead, express gratitude for your colleague’s trust and belief that you’re capable of evolving.

•       Overdo your apology by laying on your privileged guilt. Your apology should be sincere.

Ask yourself -

•       What was the Impact of My statement ?

•       What was my intention when making this statement ?

How to Respond to a Microaggression

Three Approaches:

1. Let it go. This can often be the easiest solution but comes with an emotional tax, of not speaking up for yourself, and others, and it reinforces the behavior is OK.

2. Respond immediately. This approach addresses the situation but can be risky, impacting how you are seen, and impacting others and the overall culture.

3. Respond Later. Sleep on it. Get perspective. Strategically respond. Create a tempered approach, privately. Log it with HR and others, as well as directly to the person.

How?

•        Discern – how important is this? To you? Your feelings & others? How do you want to be perceived?

•       Disarm – prepare them to be uncomfortable for the discussion.

•       Defy–  Challenge them to explain exactly what they meant vs your interpreation.

•       Decide–  Your feelings, your reaction are yours to decide.

 

Reference Material:

•       Harvard Business Review – further reading: https://hbr.org/2020/07/when-and-how-to-respond-to-microaggressions

•       IBM Institute for Business Value & Session on Microaggression