Sunday, April 28, 2019

#TravelDiaries #TempleVisits - Visit to Kukke-Dharmastala- Horanadu- Sringeri- Kollur- Annegude- Udipi - Kateel (Based Mangalore, Karnataka) - April 2019


Dates:  18 April 2019-  22 April 2019

10 places – 9 amazing temples-  3900 Kms of travel – 20 Devotees – singing Bhajans and chantings on the spiritual tour -  4 days of Divine Awesomeness!

Chennai -  Mangalore – Kukke Subramanya -  Dharmstala Sri Manjunatha Swamy Temple-  Horanadu Sri Annapurna Devi Temple  - Shingeri Saradamba Temple  - Kollur Sri Mookambikkai Temple – Annegude Vinayaka Temple  - Kunkujeri Durga Devi Temple-  Udipi Sri Krishna Temple-  Kateel Durga Temple

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All Divine awesomeness begins with the calling from the Divine itself!   It was such an opportunity for me when I got to join my aunt in her trip to Mangalore and around on a Pilgrimage with her Anjani Bhajan Sangh friends from Nanganallur


Chennai to Mangalore:  We took the West Coast Express after voting on 18 April 2019, and the journey itself was a different experience.  Day train, home food, strangers who became friends in no time,  stories of the train journeys and bhajans that bonded us with the divine grace.  We reached Mangalore by 5 am on 19 April 2019.  A well organized Van with a driver was waiting for us to pick up and drive us to Kukki and then followed the temples listed above and back to Mangalore on 22 April 2019 for the train back to Chennai

My Key takeaways:
1.       Travel is fun when you have like minded souls and on a group with similar interests
2.      Comforts become secondary when the divine-ness overtakes your thoughts and prayers make it possible
3.      Families and Friends bond over the travel times more than at our living rooms
4.      Understanding of Hindu rituals and significance makes your appreciate the religion and its roots and value systems
5.      Every temple kitchen was catering to million people a day making annadanam celebrating the spirit of oneness
6.      Architecture of Indian Temples is a way of celebrating life and science.  Traditions and rituals keep us grounded.   Customs and Values bind us more as human beings
7.      You get what you truly deserve (For me this came as a last minute blessing and I was destined to enjoy this divine awesomeness)
8.      No matter what, going to temples create positive vibes,  chases away negative energy and makes you more hopeful and satisfying irrespective of the challenges of time, crowds, hot weather, limitation on accommodation and food options. 




Documenting the Trip with details of each temple we visited is the way I chronicle my temple visits and for those who joined me on this trip:

Kukki Subramanya


  • ·       Among the prominent and must-visit temples of Karnataka, Kukke temple takes a special place for its spiritual importance and 80 kms from Mangalore Station. Kukke Subramanya is a Hindu temple located in the village of Subramanya, in Dakshina Kannada district of Karnataka. The temple is famous for practices related to Naga Dosha and lores attached to them
  • ·       The temple is 5000 years old
  • ·       The temple is dedicated to Karthikeya worshipped as Subramanya. A story goes like the divine serpent Vasuki and other serpents found refuge under Subramanya when threatened by Garuda.
  • ·       The temple is located in the range of beautiful Western Ghats. There is Kumara Parvatha overlooking the temple; a popular hiking destination for trekkers across South India.
  • ·       The Divine Kshetra of Subramanya is situated in the banks of the river ‘Dhara’ whose origins is in the Kumara Mountain. The river from here proceeds to the western sea  (We were lucky to have taken the dip in this river on the Chitra Pournami day on 19 April 2019)
  • ·       As one enters the temple, exactly between the sanctum and the entrance, there is the Garuda Pillar covered with silver. It is believed that the pillar was placed here to protect devotees from the poisonous flames arising from the breath of Vasuki, who resides inside.
  • ·       On the upper dias, we see the deity of Subramanya and the deity of Vasuki. Just below, at the next level, one can see the deity of Shesha.
  • ·       The main sanctum in the temple is built in Kerala style. One interesting thing here is about its Prasadam; it is the earth from the anthill, called mrithike.
  • ·       Kukka Subramanya is largely known for Pujas related to Naga Dosha. The two important among them are Ashlesha Bali Puja and Sarpa Samskara.
  • ·       The noted festivals in the temple are Made Snana, Maha Rathotsava, Ranga Pooja, Purusharya Ontinema, and Deepothsava.


Dharmstala Sri Manjunatha Temple



  • ·       Dharmasthala Manjunatha Temple (Built 800 years ago)
  • ·       The iconic temple is located on the banks of Nethravathi river standing as one of the most significant abodes of Shiva.
  • ·       The main temple is dedicated to Shiva in the name of Manjunatha and the other shrines include Ammanavaru, Chandranath, and the Dharma Daivas.
  • ·       One fascinating thing about the temple is its religious tolerance and the puja protocols. It is the rarest Shiva temple on Earth where we find Vaishnava priests taking care of daily puja. On the other hand, the temple administration is taken care of by Jains who act as the temple guardians.
  • ·       Another amazing fact about Dharmasthala Manjunatha temple is the amalgamation of Jainism and Hinduism. A Jain Thirthankara is worshipped beside Daivas and Lord Manjunatha which is a rare sight to witness
  • ·       Annadana and Charity-  Today, Dharmasthala is one of the prominent temples in India with an average of 10,000 people visiting it a day. The temple has a mechanized Kitchen to serve people with Annadana (Free food). Devotees can eat to their satisfaction in the Annadana Hall, which is one of South India’s largest halls. The hall can easily cater to 10,000 guests per day.
  • ·       Dharmasthala also houses a statue of Bahubali, carved out of single rock. It is about 39 feet in height which look spectacular. (which we could not visit due to time constraint)


Horanadu Sri Annapurna Devi Temple



  • ·       The temple is located at Hornadu, 100 km from Chikmagalur in the thick forest valleys of Western Ghats. It is dedicated to Shri Annaporneshwari, an incarnation of Goddess Parvathi.
  • ·       It also called as Adishakthyathmika Sri Annapoorneshwari temple or Shri Kshetra Horanadu temple, located on the banks of river Bhadra. In the context of mythology, it is believed that the idol here was established by Agasthya Rishi in the 8th century.
  • ·       The word Annapoorna is a derivation of two words; Anna meaning food and Poorna meaning complete or perfect. So, Annapoorna is regarded as the complete food. In this context, Devi here is worshipped as the Goddess of food.
  • ·       The temple houses the divine idol of Annapoorneshwari standing on a Peetha, holding Shanku, Chakra, Sri Chakri, and Devi Gayatri in her four hands. The idol is always seen covered in gold from head to toe. Locals here believe that people who seek Devi’s blessings will never have a dearth for food in their life.
  • ·       Legend: Going with the legend, once Shiva and Parvathi falls in an argument. As it continues, Shiva declares that everything in the world including food to be an illusion. To disprove his words, Parvathi disappears and makes Nature go still. Because of this, a drought covers the world making life uneasy all around. Later on, when sages prayed for Parvathi’s mercy then she appeared and distributed food to all. From then, the Goddess is worshiped as Shri Annapoorneshwari Devi.
  • ·       The route to Hornadu goes through ghats and dense forests creating an amazing travel experience for the visitors.
  • ·       If you plan for Hornadu temple then you can cover Kukke, Sringeri, Dharmasthala, Udupi, and Kollur as all these places fall in the same belt. Another major attraction of Horanadu Annapoorneshwari temple is the Mahamangalarathi offered every day at 9 AM, 1:30 PM, and 9 PM.

Shingeri Saradamba Temple



  • ·       Sri Sharadamba temple is a popular Hindu temple dedicated to Goddess Saraswathi, located in the temple town of Sringeri on the banks of River Tunga. The word Sringeri is derived from a Sanskrit word ‘Shrunga giri’ where Shrunga means the Apex, Peak or Summit.
  • ·       It is an 8th-century temple, founded by Shri Adi Shankaracharya. Shankara on his way to propagate Dharma across the country has established four mutts in the four corners of India. They are Badrikasham Jyotirpeetha in North, Dwaraka’s Sharada Peetha in the West, Puri’s Govardhan Peetha in East, and Sringeri Sharada Peetha in South.
  • ·       It is said to have housed a sandalwood statue of Sharadamba in a standing posture, installed and consecrated by Adi Shankara. In the 14th century, when the Vijayanagara empire ruled this land, Sri Vidyaranya installed a seated gold statue of Sri Sharadamba.
  • ·       The legend of this temple says that Sringeri is a place where Shankara saw a Snake cowled as an umbrella to protect a pregnant frog from the hot sun. As an evidence to this, today, one can see a sculpture called Kappe Shankara on the footsteps to the river Tunga.
  • ·       To speak a little about the temple’s significance, it is believed that Lord Shiva gave a crystal Chandramouleshwara Linga to Shri Adi Shankaracharya in the form of a blessing. Even today, Chandramouleshwara Pooja is performed to the linga, every night at 8:30 PM.
  • ·       The main temple is dedicated to Goddess Sharadambika who is believed to be an incarnation of Saraswathi, also worshipped as Ubhaya Bharathi. The faith here says that by worshipping Ubhaya Bharathi, one can receive the blessings of Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu.
  • ·       The temple is also famous for Aksharabhyasa. It is a sacred ritual followed here where a kid in the age of 2-5 will be initiated to learning.
  • ·       Another major attraction of Sringeri temple is its sacred Sringeri Mutt, also referred to as Dakshinamnaya Sringeri Sharada Peetham. The mutt follows the practices of Smartha tradition and the head over here is known as Jagadguru. A person who sits in the divine Peetha of Mutt carries the name Shankaracharya as a title.
  • ·       Sringeri also hosts over 40 temples. The important ones are Stambha Ganapathi, Sri Vidyashankara temple, Janardhan temple, Harihara temple, and Kalabhairava temple to the East.
  • ·       The Vidyashankra temple located next to Sharada temple is a perfect example of architectural marvel. One can see 12 Zodiac pillars inside of it, called as Rishi Stambhas where 12 divisions of the Zodiac are engraved.
  • ·       On the other hand, since Sringeri is situated in the heart of Chikmagalur district, it is naturally blessed with rich flora and water bodies. The nearby attractions are Sirimane falls and Hanumanagundi Falls.


Kollur Sri Mookambikkai Temple

  • ·       The Kollur Mookambik temple is situated in the Udupi district of Karnataka, standing as one of the seven abodes of Salvation created by Parashurama.
  • ·       This sacred shrine is dedicated to Shree Mookambika Devi, an incarnation of Adi Shakthi who is depicted with three eyes, four arms, with a disc and conch in hands. The temple is located on the banks of the river Souparnika and the Goddess here can be seen in the form of Swayambhu Linga.
  • ·       This is one of the rarest abodes of Devi on Earth where Adi Shakthi is worshipped in the form of Udbhava Linga. There is also an integration of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva on the right side with a gold chain dividing the linga into left and right portion.
  • ·       The idol of Mookambika Devi in its subtlest form was said to be installed and consecrated by Shri Adi Shankara. It is set up on ‘Shri Chakra Yantra’ which is considered as the most powerful form of Devi. The rituals in the temples are performed as per the Vijayagama system formulated by Shri Adi Shankara. One can also see Shankara Peetha on the western side of the temple’s sanctorum.
  • ·       If we look at the history of this temple then it dates back to ancient years. As per the legend, there lived a demon named Kaumhasura who was put to death in this Kshetra. When Kaumhasura does penance to acquire boons to disturb the life on earth, Parvathi makes the demon dumb stopping him to ask for boons. From then on, Kaumhasura takes the name Mookasura.
  • ·       However, due to Shuklacharya’s blessings, he gets back his speech and starts killing sages across. When his sins cross the limit, Goddess Parvathi descends in a powerful form and kills Mookasura and takes the name Mookambika. So, today, Devi here in Kollur is worshipped as Mookambika and thus the name Kollur Mookambika. The kollur temple is largely dedicated to knowledge and art and the Goddess here is also worshipped as Vagdevathe (Lord of Speech and Letters). The idol of Mookambika is said to be made of Panchaloha (Gold, Silver, Copper, Iron, and Lead).The temple hosts Trikala Pooja to Devi on a daily basis. At 5 AM, the special Nirmalya Pooja takes place during which Devotees can have a divine Darshan of Swayambhoo Linga.
  • ·       During Navaratri, the temple takes a glorious form like never before. Also, during the month of Phalguna on the Moola Nakshatra day, Devi’s birthday is celebrated with all grandeur. It hosts politicians, film stars, and devotees in large number.
  • ·       Today, Kollur Mookambika temple has become one of the significant pilgrimage centers in South India. People from all walks of life visit the temple to have a Darshan of Devi.
  • ·       Besides temple and its religious significance, Kollur is an amazing tourist point blessed with natural beauty and heritage.

  • Annegude Vinayaka Temple

  • ·       Anedgudde Vinayaka temple is a temple dedicated to Lord Ganesha located at Kumbhashi around 30 K.M from Udupi and 7 K.M. from Kundapura. This temple is located on a small hillock surrounded by greenery and lots of trees.  
  • ·       “Aane” in Kannada means elephant and “gudde” means a small hillock. Since this temple is located in a small hillock which was frequented by elephants in the past, it was named Aanegudde / Anegudde. This is one of the 7 Mukthi Sthalaas in Coastal Karnataka.
  • ·       As per the legend, many years ago, this area was under a severe drought and Sage Agasthya came here to perform Yagna to please the rain gods. The demon Kumbhasura repeatedly disrupted the yana. Sage Agasthya prayed Lord Ganesha for help. This was during the exile period of Pandavas who were camping nearby. Lord Ganesha blessed Bheema and gave him a sword to kill the demon. Bheema by using the blessed sword killed the demon and rescued the sages and others. Hence the place was named as Kumbashi.

  • Ganesha’s idol is believed to be a Swayambu (self emerged one).The idol is massive and is in the form of an elephant with a visible trunk and large ear, though not made using chisel or any other instrument. 
  • ·       The idol is in a standing posture with four arms. Two palms are pointing at his feet. This is believed to indicate to the devotees to surrender unconditionally to get salvation. The other two palms are in the blessing position indicating his willingness to grant the boons on complete surrender. 
  • ·       The temple has ample parking space and not much crowded. There are two approach roads to the temple, one by climbing many steps and the other by road which goes all the way to the temple gate. 
  • ·       The temple remains open from 6 A.M. till 10:00 P.M.
  • Food would be served to all the devotees after the Maha Pooja in the afternoon Overall it was a peaceful and soothing experience visiting this temple.


Kunkujeri Durga Devi Temple



·       Kunjaru is a hamlet in Kurkaal grama, situated 6-7 miles (approximately 11kms) to the south-east of Shree Krishna’s Udupi.

·       This small village is reputed for its sanctity owing to the celebrated Durga Temple on a high hillock popularly known by the names: Kunjarugiri, Durgabetta and Vimanagiri.. This potent Durga Saannidhya, which was installed by none other than Lord Parashurama.

·       The high hills, abodes of  Shree Durga and Lord Parashurama, look like “Kunjara” (Elephant) for which the place is known as “Kunjaragiri” or “Kunjarugiri”.  

·       It is also reputed as “Vimanagiri” because the Gods and Godesses came by “Vimana” to offer floral tribute, when Jaganmatha Durga was installed on the hill by the Lord Parashurama.

·       Sacred association  of  Vishwaguru  Shri Madhwacharya – gives it a prominent place in the spiritual sphere.

·       The ancient Durga temple stands on the top of Vimanagiri amidst the lush green groves of  hilly serenity. This very serene location of the temple, its antiquity and the divinity of the magnificent idol of the Goddess, at once creates a memorable feeling of  long lasting devotion and piety in the hearts of the devotees. It has been the experience of every devotee who visits the temple for worship. The devotees feel the spiritual solace and the potent protection at the feet of Durgadevi. The holy atmosphere in and around the shrine, the holy Theerthas, the Lord Parashurama Temple and the nearness to Paajaka Kshetra makes it an important place for the pilgrims.

Madhwacharya Ashram Udipi District


  • ·       This is the birth place of Hindu Acharya, Sri Madhvacharya and it’s about 13 kms away from Udupi. The home where Acharya lived has been preserved and also public is allowed to visit this ancient heritage place. There’s a small temple within the premises and the priest is very eager to tell the stories related to Sri Acharya when he was a boy. There’s a Veda Paatashala (Vedic school), a school for young children being run by the Trust. Nice & serene place and one gets positive vibes once you are around this place and especially the Home of Acharya.
  • ·       Around 12 Kms from the temple town of Udupi. They have developed the place well now. The house in which Madhwacharya lived are still retained. If you are on a piligrimage to this area, worth visiting. There is a Hill temple of Durga and can be reached by car which is considered the temple where Madhwacharya worshipped. There is a 25+ feet Madhwacharya Idol which has been installed at the foothills.
  • ·       The ancient feel and cleanliness mesmerizes you. This is the place where Madhwacharya lived and very pious for all Madhwa devotees, The pond backside of Sri Madvacharya temple is good and tank full of fishes.. A stone placed by the side of the main deity is believed to be the one on which Sri Madhwacharya was taught to write by his father. The main priest has many stories about Madwacharya and his life here. You will get moved by the simplicity and serenness.

Udipi Sri Krishna Temple


·       The Udupi Shri Krishna Matha is an important religious center for the Hindus, and is placed among the principal pilgrimage sites in India. It is a conspicuous center of the Dvaita Vedanta Hindu philosophy that believes Lord Vishnu (the Supreme Soul) and the individual souls have independent existential realities.
·       The Shri Krishna Matha, dedicated to Lord Krishna, is located in the town of Udupiin Karnataka, around 60 km north of Mangalore. The temple is considered as one of the holiest pilgrimage sites in Southern India.
·       Thousands of devotees visit the temple from different parts of the country all the year round. Resembling a holy ashram, the temple is known globally for its religious customs, traditions, and the upholder of Tatvavaada philosophy or Dvaita. It is also the hub of Daasa Sahitya.
·       Apart from its religious history and legends, the temple is famed for its two exclusive features. Firstly, no one gets a close, wholesome view of the idol of Lord Krishna since it’s a tradition in the temple to worship the Lord through an exquisitely carved, silver-plated inner window with nine holes depicting the ten incarnations of Vishnu.
·       The window is called the Navagraha Kitiki. Secondly, unlike the usual norm of placing the idol of Lord Vishnu facing the east, Lord Krishna’s idol at the temple is placed facing the west. In fact, the idols in all the Ashta Mathas are west-facing.
·       The glorious little idol of Lord Krishna sits all alone in meditational silence and wisdom, swathed in diamond-studded gold cover, fragrant garlands made from fresh flowers, the regal crown, the sacred thread made from gold yarn, and the brilliant stones-studded gold lined garments.


·       Architecture

·       The 9-holed window, also known as the Kanakadasa window, is attached to a wall in the Chandrasala hall. The hall lends itself a sublime ambiance in aid of the holy sound made by numerous bells hanging at its arched entrance, as well as the beautiful glow of the earthen lamps burning in the hall. Devotees either sit there in meditation saying silent prayers or try to peep through the 9-holed window to get a glimpse of the Lord. One corner of the hall holds the shrine of Lord Hanuman in a meditative pose.
·       Overlooking the Chandrasala hall is a four-pillared raised platform with a silver roof. The platform houses the traditional deepastambam, holding the sacred oil lamp.
·       On the right side of the main sanctum in the path of circumambulation stands the statue of the temple’s founder Shri Madhvacharya, while on the northern side of his statue stands the shrine of Lord Panduranga.
·       The holy tank Madhwapushkarani is placed next to the southern entrance of the temple. The eastern entrance to Shri Balkrishna’s sanctum sanctorum is strikingly beautiful flanked by a panchadhatu (5 metals) figure of Lord Vishnu mounted on his Garuda holding conch and discus. The eastern entrance usually remains closed and is open only once a year on the day of Vijaya Dashami.
·       Visit the nearby temples of Ananteshwara and Chandreshwara – The usual norm while visiting the Shri Krishna Temple is to pay visits to the adjacent Ananteshwara and Chadreshwara Temples before stepping into the temple of Lord Krishna. Popular beliefs say that King Rama Bhoja, a devout follower of Lord Parashurama, had installed the statue of Lord Ananteshwara (Lord Shiva). Another belief says that the Chandreshwara temple was built on the same spot where Chandra performed a great penance in order to get rid of the curse of Daksha Prajapathi.

Kateel Durga Temple


  • ·       Kateel or Kateelu is a temple town in the Dakshina Kannada district of Karnataka, primarily known for a temple dedicated to Shri Durga Parameshwari Devi. The beauty of this temple is that it is situated on an islet, right in the middle of the sacred river Nandini.
  • ·       The word Kateel or Kateelu is a derivation of two words – ‘Kati’ meaning Centre and ‘Ila’ meaning Earth. So, Kateel means the central area of the earth. Geographically, Kateel is located midway between Kanakagiri, the river source, and Pavanje, a joining point of a river to the sea, justifying its name.
  • ·       In this sacred land, Shri Shakthi resides in the form of Durga Parameshawri who is a powerful incarnation of Goddess Parvathi. There is a legend attached to the origin of Kateel Durga Parameshwari temple which dates back to the early days of Kalyug.
  • ·       It goes like there lived a demon named Arunasura equipped with impeccable magical powers. He was growing with such a daemon power that he started disrupting the lives on earth. He was simply unstoppable for a reason that he had secured special powers from Lord Brahma. Arunasura was blessed with a boon that he cannot be killed by any man, woman or by a two or four-legged creature.
  • ·       When Arunasura went on to destroy the peace on earth, Goddess Parvathi is said to have taken the form of a beautiful woman (Mohini) and came on earth. She, with her sensuous beauty, teased Arunasura to anger. When an angry demon tried to kill Goddess Parvathi, she turned herself into a rock. Arunasura broke the rock open to see an army of gigantic and furious bees flying towards him. Maa Parvathi in the form of a bee (Brahmara) stung him to a merciless death.
  • ·       Later on, Rishis and Sages worships Maa Brahmaramba and pleads her to bless this world in her Soumya Roopa. Owing to their prayers, Goddess Parvathi takes the form of Parameshwari and stands in Kateel to bless and protect this world from the evil forces.
  • ·       As an evidence, one can see a huge rock before leading up to the shrine of Durga Parameshwari. It called as ‘Rakteshwari’, a rock form took by Devi before killing the demon. The Devi here is worshipped three times in a day. On the day of Sankaramana, a special puja will be offered by locals.
  • ·       The temple also hosts shrines dedicated to other Gods and Goddesses. To the south of the main sanctum, there is Mahaganapathi, and to its right, there is a shrine for shashtra. To the southwest, a shrine for Kshtrapalaka can be found. In the inner yard of the temple and in the outer yard, two Naga Sannidhis are worshipped along with Brahma in the inner sanctum.
  • ·       Today, thousands of devotees visit Kateel on a daily basis to seek the blessings of Maa Durga Parmeshwari. It is said that the energy here is so pristine and powerful that it can simply rejuvenate the depressed lives to all life, once again.
  • ·       Kateel locates on the way to Udupi and it is about 26 km away from Mangalore. The entire temple space is tucked in rich green around creating an enthralling ambiance all over.
  • ·       It is truly a blessed feeling to be in the presence of Shri Durga Parameshwari. During Navaratri, the temple hosts a series of Pujas and Utsavas as an offering to Devi.
  • ·       The temple’s beauty in the middle of the river Nandini, Devi’s divine presence, and a drop of devotion in heart, Kateel can create an image of heaven for a moment.
  • ·       The noted festive events celebrated in the temple are Uthsavanga, Aropana, Flag Hoisting, Souramana Yugadi, and Rathotsava.



Radhe Krishna!   Strangers became friends!  Friends became Family....all in the spirit of one divine surge...towards a spiritual quest...an awesomeness that made us feel the pilgrimage as a wholesome experience.....a true divine awesomeness....a true God's calling to his abodes of peace and blessings!











Saturday, April 13, 2019

#AVIS100 - 'Happyness Conversation with Karthik and Manu' curated by AVIS Viswanathan and Vaani


Happyness Conversations from AVISInitiatives


AVIS Viswanathan and Vaani curated 'the happyness conversations': This monthly Conversation Series champions living Life fully with what is. It is sponsored and hosted by the Odyssey Bookstore in Adyar and is for anyone who wants to pause and reflect on Life.  These conversations started in 2015 and they have journeyed to 100th conversation this April 2019.

#AVIS100 was the 100th Happyness Conversation held on 13 April 2019, at Odyssey Adyar at 7 pm where ‘Manu’ and ‘Karthik’ shared their story - a story of courage, strength, perseverance and absolute acceptance of life as it is.   



Happyness Conversations with Manu and Karthik - HIV Positive couple



When they first heard the info

After a month after marriage, like every new bride Manu was expecting the good news when she went for the blood test and met her doctor.   The ‘news’ that she got was the least a woman can expect…that too when she was in the thoughts of ‘expecting’.   She felt shattered, deceived and broken when the doctor informed her that her husband (ex now) have full blown AIDS.  She felt blank and lost to the man next to her.  She was angry for this is something that she rightly DIDN’T deserve in an arranged marriage.   ‘Karthik’ was a young man with lot of passion for life and dreams about a great career and at the initial stages of life when in 1994, during a surgery, he had blood transfusion.   He was later bewildered and completely felt lost when his doctor broke him the news that he is tested HIV positive.  He went and knocked several times on the doors of the surgeon to tell him who gave him the blood, only to be facing denial and fierce fully shown the door.  That is when his company suggested taking this up legally, but he felt for what use.  What has happened has already happened.  Nothing is going to reverse his medical condition. 

Acceptance

Like all such ordeals in life, acceptance takes time.  It must overcome anger, frustration and the questioning of ‘why me?’.  Acceptance is the first vital step of life’s hardest truths.   Only when the acceptance of reality dawns on you, will you be able to face it with courage and conviction.  Then the focus shifts from the sense of lost, betrayal, depression towards a focus on the things that need to be done to ease from the situation if not to resolve it.   The fact that they are HIV is not something they can resolve.  But they can make it not create an overwhelming shadow that would snatch life out of them.   Karthik’s acceptance made him to look at what life style changes he must make, what food is good to build the immunity, exercise regime, the routine he must follow, sleep patterns, the medical needs and timely tests.  Once he was able to shift his focus on to this, life became much easier to manage.  

Anger

Genuine anger sometimes is necessary.   When Manu was able to identify her ‘source of anger’, she found it easy to make life changing decision of leaving her husband once for all and restarting her life.   In a stereotype middle class marriage, she tried to strike the conversation with her husband who only retaliated her with abuse – both physical and emotional.   She did not have the courage to inform her father, but shared the truth with her mother, who stood to her support to make the final decision of coming out of a marriage that was built on the edifice of lies and deceit.    For a moment, I felt like standing and giving her a hug there, for even to walk out of marriage needs courage and especially when you have your own vulnerabilities back home.   She decided to remove the ‘source of anger’ in her life forever. 

Forgiveness

Many a times, people advice that forgiveness is a medicine to your healing process.   When you forgive, you are no way going to change your past, but sure to do that to your future.  For you don’t need to carry the weight of garbage in your heads into your future.  Keeping the basket out of the mind is the key as Karthik said.  



Social Judgement

We live in a society that feels that it is its responsibility to be judgmental about everything around.  People go ahead with unconscious bias towards certain things like HIV, Mental Illness, Divorce, Single Parents and what not.  Many a time, even those matured souls tend to be judgmental without proper reasoning.   So Karthik and Manu were not unaffected by it.  However, they learnt not to be susceptible to this same.   When Karthik’s childhood friend, came to know of the fact and asked him if he can touch him, not only showed the lack of awareness in the society but also the need for sensitization.  Manu had experiences of people staring at her on disclosing the fact as AIDS was considered a truck-drivers, Sex workers disease and not always related to several other factors that could contribute to the same.  

Survival and Work

The focus on the survival started after source of anger was removed.  Manu firmly tells the fact that what doesn’t kill you makes you strong.   Life has its own baggage. There cannot be any extras and you must take it the way it is.  Dealing with something that they don’t rightly deserve is not easy for it had its own ripple effects.  When Karthik had to look out for options to find a job, he had three offers in hand, which he could not join once his medical tests showed his state.   Keeping up their jobs was very important as the need for supporting the family, the need for survival and meet out the mounting medical expenditure was something very high those days.   

Few demons overruled by angels all around made their lives possible.  Karthik disclosed to his brother after 2 years of knowing of his disease and he found an extremely good support system at home from his brother, sister and uncle.   Manu had the happiness of her parents support and friends making life a bit easy for her to focus on her health and betterment.   She understood that a pill a day keeps her going.  

Understanding the disease

They touched up on the Difference between HIV and AIDS – the spectrum.   HIV is a virus and AIDS is a medical condition that happens due to the low immunity due to the virus in the body.   They gave HIV new definition as Happiness in Vast!  Manu called HIV is boring – the fear that something happens is killing than the disease as nothing happens in fact as they don’t neglect on the required life style management.  The stigma kills more than the disease and that is what they fight even today.  The journey for 25 years since 1994 for Karthik and 2007 for Manu.  Secrets that are essential to survive in the society – they do not cause harm to anyone around and they prefer not talking about it and scaring people around. 

Faith

When AVIS asked them about the faith, that kept them grounded and courageous.  Manu went on to describe her acceptance of Buddhism that changed her perspectives of life.  She found an inner strength to look at the positive side of the world.   Karthik found his calling to Shirdi Sai Baba on his visit to Shirdi from Aurangabad…and he felt a deeper connect with Supreme energy.   What ever may be the form of manifestation of the supreme energy, it is this deeper faith that keeps them going.  Living life with complete understanding of the situations is by itself a way of spirituality and this ultimate faith give it more meaning and happiness.  Above all peace within. 

Their Love Story

The last lap of the conversation went around their love story.  They took every opportunity to express their gratitude to YRGCARE and to Dr Sunithi Solomon and having Sunil Suhas Solomon during the event made it more meaningful.   This part of the conversation made it touch our hearts as they cutely described how they were pushed to talk to each other, and how Karthik proposed to Manu on the valentine’s day and how quickly things fell in place for them to get married on 9 May 2011.   Sometimes, God has his own ways of rebuilding lives.  Today they are the cutest couple I have come across in the last few years.   Their love is genuine.  They made each other’s life complete and happening. 

My interaction



I took the liberty to go and thank them profusely for sharing their story with all of us present.   Having been a social worker for the rehabilitation of the HIV positive in Tiruvallur district for last several years and having recently attended a wedding of a young couple who were tested positive at birth but found a meaning to continue with life as it is, here I found meeting this people more liberating to my thoughts and inner happiness.   I went and spoke to both, hugged Manu tightly and shared my card with her to keep in touch.  

I came home, shared story with Aishu and cried to my hearts content.  Thank you, AVIS Viswanthan, and Vaani, for this conversation will linger in my head for long.  For I felt a strong connect…somewhere of deeper reflections.


For more information on #thehappynessconversations and for understanding what Vaani and AVIS Viswanathan, the happynesswalas, do in the space of "Inspiring 'Happyness'"....please look up http://www.avisviswanathan.in/  and Workplace Happiness Firm http://www.avinitiatives.co.in/



Pictures courtesy:  Vinod Velayutham 


Saturday, April 6, 2019

Celebrating the Memory of Smt. Sakuntala Bai....On her Birth Centenary 7 April 2019- A Tribute to the Grand Old Lady of My family

Smt. Sakuntala Bai ( 7 April 1919 -  18 July 2003)  -  Centenary Celebration Tribute 7 April 2019



I would call her our God Mother...for she had been our best woman in life...our Nanamma (Father's mother).   Like most of the children from Andhra Telugu households,  we were also raised by her.    Grand parents play a pivotal role in the raising of children in our part of the world, and we were just lucky to have had her as nanamma.   A very simple woman...with simple living and high thinking,  she was a big influence in our lives. 

Early Childhood and Education

She was born in Madras, in the then Madras Presidency with 3 brothers and a younger sister to Sri Jayaram and Smt Lakshmi Bai on 7 April 1919.   They had a very strong family connect, where her nieces and nephews are still connected and we stand by each other during all good and bad days even today.   Her brother J.C.Krishnan and J. Parthasarathy and Sister Smt. Radha Bai were of great support, help and influence on her.     In those era of British Empire in India..she went to pursue her education in Lady Wellington School & College in Chennai.   Passing 10th in those days was a great thing.

1939, she attended the Public Meeting of Sri Netaji Subash Chadra Bose and was deeply influenced by the 'Lion of Bengal's roaring speech.   She later narrated comparative stories of Freedom struggle from the perspectives of two great leaders Gandhi and Netaji.   These bedtime stories used to be creating a patriotic urge in us as children

Marriage and Children

She got married to Narayana Swamy Chettiar, a widower and a father of a 2 year old child and an Agricultural Engineer those days.  She instantly adopted the child Vimala Bai as her own daughter.   Later on, she was blessed with Sampath Kumar (*my father) and Smt. Jayalakshmi.    We grand children never knew that Vimala attai was my father's step sister until we were old enough to understand the relationships.  For she never treated any one differently.  The magnanimity of a woman who can love everyone around unconditionally is a greatest virtue of her life that we try to inject in our heads always.



Employment - In Women and Child Welfare Department of Andhra Pradesh

In the era, where women were mostly confined as homemakers,  my grand mother worked as a 'Laison Officer' in the then British Government in the 'Women and Child Welfare Department',  Her primary job included travelling and laisioning on the welfare schemes of the government and taking them to the rural villages and towns of Andhra Pradesh.   She reported on to one IAS officer of those days Smt. Jayalakshmi Rao,  and she took great pride in the work she did.  I remember her taking me to this officer's house in Taylor's Road, Kilpauk after her retirement.

Influence on our thought process

Her stories of her employment and welfare schemes, had a very strong influence in my life, as the seeds of Women and Child Welfare started from home very early.   I remember her taking my elder sister Yamini along with her to her office in the final days before her retirement and once she retired, she took over the full responsibility of raising us and teaching us several things that schools could never do. 

Being strong in thoughts and actions, loud in voicing honest opinions,  polite and respectful to elders,  friendly with neighbours, caring and loving to family and relatives and being a strong pillar of support to her children and a pedestal of strength and growth to the grand children.   She was very soft-spoken, but very strong in her convictions.   She was an ardent devotee of Sai Baba.  She used to teach my sister's small songs and bhajans that I loved listening and dare not singing.... Very good cook, who carried our meals to school and meet our teachers regularly.   She ensured she was there for all sports days and annual days.   She was our punch bag for everything in life. 



Tragedies that shook her apart and Final Days

Probably one of the worst tragedies that took the life out of her while she was alive, was the sudden passing away of our father at the age of 48, her only son, to a heart attack.   She raised above the personal loss of my grandfather in August 1977 and Vimala atthai's husband early in life.  However, the death of her son affected her like nothing else.    We had to move away from Eluru and live in Chennai and she went off with my Jaya attai to live in Hyderabad.   One side, losing her son was a havoc and other side, parting from us caused her health have a downward swill

Later on, my aunt's family moved to Chennai and she spent her final days living with them in Madambakkam and she was excited with our weekly visits,  she was super excited attending our weddings and she was fully of josh and happiness when my daughter Aishwarya was born and she was with full of happiness and mad love when my nephew Ajay was born.   Her happiness knew no bounds when all her great grand children Sai, Prajwala, Aishwarya and Ajay were born and seeing them grow.

She passed away after a brief illness on 18 July 2003 leaving behind great footprints that will keep inspiring us for rest of our lives

This is the story of an ordinary woman who lived an extraordinary life of simplicity, devotion, love and service and great thinking and influencing her family by her every day actions.

Today, we take a moment to pause and remember her deeply with love and a sense of gratitude for all the efforts she took in raising us..raising us right..giving us a sense of pride for having born as a woman. 

Love you Nanamma...today and forever.   Happy Birthday God Mother!








Thursday, March 14, 2019

Voice of Victims! #PollachiCrime #FacebookTragedy #TNSexAbuse

Image result for pollachi sex case names



#Pollachi #TNCrime #VoiceofVictims
Date: 14 Mar 2019
-          Written by Umasree Raghunath


Yes, I am a simple girl, my daddy’s little girl
He gave me wings to fly, not knowing he should spy

I dream to shine, believe in people, share my dreams
Trusting the other gender, silently and sincerely without qualms

I ventured out, making new friends and networking
Not understanding the brutal underground systems working

Looks can be deceptive and words can be manipulated
In the name of friendship, love and care and what not!

When I extended my little hands in search of friendship
I did not know for sure, the big shadow of a cruel perpetrator

My simple dream not just broken but tarnished for ever
The small moments of pleasure became a bane for life

Veils of perverseness of the man I believed to be a friend
Brought upon me a tragedy to unveil and an emotional end

I cried in pain, for rescue, for help and for solace

The ‘trusted’ friend with his gang of ‘trusted’ friends
Ended up treating me like a meat as I ventured onto meet!

I ended up in shame and disgust, physical and emotional pain
Media wants to show my face and give a name, and blame

Victim blaming, victim shaming, and victim destroy
Unfortunately, Is not new in this country of mine,

STOP, this game, please for heaven’s sake and hell’s end
All I did was to put my trust and go along with a friend!

Oh Mothers!  Out there!  Please feed your sons with food for thought
That ‘woman’ is not a sex toy, but a soul with blood and flesh

We are young, and we too have a dream and a life out there
Beyond this tragedy, let us live in some left out grace

Social Media fanatics – Stop searching for who we are!
We are someone’s sister, some dad’s daughter, even a teacher!

System - Refine yourself, before you advice on what we need to do!
Our families and friends can take care of us for true!