Wednesday, March 11, 2015

#StartANewLife :Meet The New Housing: A small decision towards a big change....towards building 'Life'

Marriage is one of the most beautiful phases in a woman’s life.  This is one period of a girl’s life where she blossoms from being a girl to a complete woman and motherhood.  Like all girls, I also had my own set of dreams.  Dreams of happily ever after.   However, reality hit me big time.  

Within the first 24 hours of my marriage, I had to face the toughest situation a girl can be pushed into.  My husband on our first night, sat quietly with sweat on his face and fear in his eyes.  Usually it will be other way round. Yet, I have taken the first step and spoke to him telling him that we will first be friends.    

In a typical arranged marriage set up with having several years difference between us, this was an obvious moments of anxiety to both of us.   However, slowly and softly,he started to speak.  His first few lines of confession that he was mental disturbed and suffers from schizophrenia (I was hearing this word first time in life) was absolutely confusing. Forget about the fact that his parents forced him into this marriage or he was not willing for marriage at all and above all, they have hidden this fact from me and my family.  The damage is done. And to me!  

The road ahead is unknown.   But one thing is for sure.  It is not going to be a smooth ride whatever way I try.  I had one other option.  Get out of the room then and there, throw away the one day old scared thread on his parents’ face for having played with a girl’s life and walk out of the marriage and let this man who is one day old husband have his own fate.   That looked like the easiest option. 

However, challenges to me is not new.  I saw my dad dying in my arms when I was 15.  I saw the society shunning on us for having all girls at home and then I presiding over his funeral and finally doing his final rites.  This is a bit more.  For what I need to rebuild the whole thing here is ‘LIFE’

Just out of teens, and college, graduated with a rank, I had the best of upbringing by my parents and grandmother.  I decided to take this marriage as my next challenge.  I know it is the boldest
decision that I can possibly take.  Which means that I am taking over the responsibility of our livelihood for rest of my life, and it also means that I am taking over the responsibility of an unstable man also for rest of my life.   Not sure, how I am going to build my life, but I strongly felt that I will make it…for good.   I decided not to give up, what may come!

Today, 17 years after marriage, when I look back to that panicky night, where I took that bold & beautiful decision of making my marriage happen and to love my man unconditionally accepting him with all the imperfections we have, today we rejoice our togetherness as the happiest couple.   The past was for sure rocky, rubbish and in fact rattling like in a crashing airplane at times.  The journey needed extra energy, strong determination and mountainous will power.   Above all the journey thought me who are our own people and who are fake.  It gave us real friends and family.   It threw away the most disgusting people out of our life who never understood our pure love despite of the closest relation we had with them.  

We are also blessed with a beautiful, intelligent and absolutely caring daughter.   He dotes on her as apple in his eye.  He gives his love and time like any other father would do. He pampers her most of the time and fights with her like the most adored dad in the world.  Above all, he had become my guardian angel, taking care of me when I am sick,  protecting me and loving me like no other man could do, and above all, making our life more meaningful and peaceful.

Today, the past is just a distant memory.  We have moved on from the ravages of time in the initial years of marriage.  Thanks to my mother and sisters, who stood by me like rock pillars of support and brothers-in-law guided me like my own brothers’.    The meaning of family really did hold well in our case.   

Today, we are part of several social causes, where we give back to the society.  Right from supporting underprivileged children and destitute elders and sick, we also cater to the needs of education, health care and environment of the society in the smallest ways we can.   The God’s calling for our service in the most humble way possible,  made us start our own service called ‘
Punaraja Services’  where my husband today runs to the needs of the destitute and orphaned dead…giving them decent funerals and good byes.    What else can I ask for from the man whom I loved so much that night without even knowing him completely?   Today, I feel the pride that the bold decision that I took that day several years ago, made my life truly meaningful.  Staying Blessed!

No comments: