Every year, it is my tradition to write the first post of the blog about a favorite deity and this year is no different. After my family and I had to take our first ride of the year in the Ambulance in the early hours of 1 January 2022, I had no thoughts. There was an absolute blankness in mind, but a firm faith in the God, that this too shall pass. I did not even want to do a root cause analysis on the source of Covid that just caught us all at a time, with fullest of its new form variant symptoms and absolutely made us disoriented for a while. The guiding deities of my life are my parents and grandmother.
As first Aishu drove us to the Rapid tests, and our little puppy dog waiting eagerly in the car for us to come back, the tests going positive, again going back home to pick our stuff and getting back in Ambulance to Kings, and the long queues of waiting and having no energy to even stand, we got back to Medway Hospital and took CT scans, needed hospitalization and as a family started our first 'outing' of the year in a very interesting way!
Today is my 10th day in hospital. Recovering slowly and steadily from the 'Covid' after my family got back home last Friday, 7th Jan. Yesterday, was my dad's 30th death anniversary. I spent in silence, meditation and prayers sitting in my hospital bed. I generally do lot of puja things at home, go to temple, do some food donations and feed cows etc. This year, being 30th year, I thought few more things in his memory as it is also a Sunday. But looks like he had different plans for me. Most of the day, I spent in chanting, in his good old memories, his guiding light and blessings all these years. Just a week back, I went around the places where I spent most of my childhood with him. Recalling those was the best part of the day.
Covid took the energy out of me like hell...fatigue like never before...longest stint of hospitalization, weakening my heart and fluctuating my diabetic levels crazily like never before (Of course, I am a sweet person, I am loved!). Cough, intermittent fever, severe cold, body-aches, headache like a rock on my head, tiredness (crazily sleeping 18 hours and feeling tired ugh), pandemic did not spare us and the universe wanted us to experience this too!
First time in many years, I spent a whole week gadget free, away from internet, continuous conference calls, laptop and social media. Phone was the only connect with loved ones who kept worrying about us. It showed me how lucky I am to have my family backing me up...especially my sisters and families, and Raghu's sister and elder brother family and loads of friends, cousins and extended family who prayed for us. Especially we will be truly grateful to Raghu's sister for taking care of our 4 month old Rumi with so much of love. The strongest of my sisters crying every time seeing me having ups and downs being bed ridden, was a mixed emotion to experience. My office, colleagues and friends in our Covid support team, everyone wishing me well. Sometimes, adversities show you what you have earned in life. The people who love you is what matters and in that way, I think I am absolutely rich!
Yes, we did have had a rough beginning to the year! WE did have a scare of life. We did experience the pandemic. However, this did not deter our spirits.
I may need some more time to get back to my active social life...but this whole experience had only strengthened my resolve. I may upset my sisters who keep pushing me to be selfish and focus on my life, my health and family at least now. Of course I will do that. I will respect their thoughts for me. I love to listen to them. But same time, I will also surely listen to what my heart says. What my calling is! This time, I will not risk my health but will surely give back the way I still can. After all, this is one life. I will live my life to the lees!
Thank you everyone for making my journey meaningful. Thanks to my family, friends and all my colleagues, well-wishers and all those great experiences that sculpture me to be a better person!!
2022...Please be a bit kinder for rest of the year dear! Every year is a new leaf in our lives where we take it is as it is and go with the flow. With a full heart of gratitude and compassion, thanking my parents who are my guiding stars and sharing with you all our deity Chengalamma Parameshwari. with you all!!!
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