Dark is Beautiful- Skin Color is still an issue. Why? (Inspired by the Dark is Beautiful Campaign)

In the darkness of sky, I find the brightest stars!

In the midst of the world, lies the darkest cores!

In the mountains, we find the darkest peaks!

In the depths of oceans, we find the rarest gems!

True....No one got a right in this world, to make you feel that your color of the skin is an issue.  You are beautiful in your own right.   The beauty of heart is more important than the color of the skin.  Everyone  knew this, however the society is still obsessed with fair people.   Fairness of skin is considered wanted, confident and attractive.   Even the darkest people have the beautiful outlook, however this is ignored.  

The shade of our skin takes over the strength of brains and will of our hearts.   Unfortunately, not only in India, but in many parts of the world, the cosmetic market is making, that the fairness is the thing that the world wants...  The advertising business and marketing world, creates a inferiority complex in the minds of not only adults but also children that being fair is important for existence.  What they don't care to understand is that it is hitting hard on the psychology of young minds and making them feel inferior, left behind and introverts in nature.   

Schools and colleges do not encourage dark skinned students to come front on the stage.... Dark skinned talents are pushed to back seat when it comes even for job interviews,  marriage proposals,  or today even adding to your friends list in Facebook.... Every person, is trying to put the best of display picture, Photoshoped and hiding their real self....Why is this crisis?  Why is the stigma still continuing even after having the Presidents of Nations who have darker shades of skin?   

O

Our beloved church in Glendale, where we enjoyed being
accepted and loved without any bias

Looks and appearance matters,  to some extent in the industry like Cinema and Media, however, the same industry saw success stories like Rajnikanth and Nandita Das and we still think talents are only in white skinned people.    Were we not called Brown people from times immemorial.   Why are we so obsessed with the Nations where they have people who are fairer.  In fact in those Nations, the people are trying to have tanned skin,  respecting our people equally and consider us one among them and respecting us for what we are and not for how we look...

Happy my favorites god are all dark!

My story is a classical example of this discrimination.  I was my dad's dearest daughter, as he always wanted me not to feel inferior when the whole world kept commenting that I am the darkest kid in the family....It was in fact, it was him and my class teacher Satyavathi teacher in 7th grade, who made me overcome this complex, and patted on my back and said that I should explore oratory, essay writing and be on stage playing my favorite dramas...However,  my younger sister got to act as angel and I always got the Three men from East, or the cattle, where my face is covered in the dramas.  But those days, I didn't even realize that my skin color was a problem.  I kept winning and it became a habit..and noting bothered me....

Solid Rock Relationship-  nothing comes in between

 As a teen, my mom always had the fear that I may not have a proper marriage proposals as I am short and dark among st our three sisters.   The first pinch of discrimination came in when my mother in law, sighed heavily that she got a dark girl for his handsome son....that was when the reality dawned on my face of adulthood.   I cried.  But it was my husband who stood behind me and said that the goodness of heart is million times better than the fairness of the face.   His statements that I am beautiful,  I have a very artistic features, and so on encouraged me to divert my attention towards positive things and ignore the nonsense comments around...

Happy Family....

When my child was born, I cried.  She was pink bundle of joy.  I could not believe that I can have the fairest baby in the world in my arms.  I thanked God that she will not have to endure the skin color complexes that I had to withstand and kept fighting all my life....

My mentors who encouraged me to be
good professional, no bias faced on my overseas
trips and happy I was just accepted as I am

Today, my thoughts, my achievements and self-contentment of being a blogger, writer, poet and a good professional and above all, being a happy wife, proud mom, sister, and daughter makes me overlook all the issues, I had to face due to my skin color.  

Trust me, I also tried every damn fairness cream in the market expecting overnight results and slowly realized that nothing is going to change by the fake promises made by the cosmetic companies.  

The change has to be within me, on how I look at myself in the mirror everyday. ..I can look and say, I am dark...and feel inferior...or I can take a look, give myself a strong  smile and say, that I am beautiful, both internally and externally.  The beauty is surely lies in the happiness of your mind and the sparkle in your eyes.    It is important how you feel about yourself than how the world feels about you...ultimately the world around you will change to the way you feel....... Beautiful in your own way!

Can I wrap my life in an Envelope?

Last one year had been tremendously stressful with frequent runs to the medicos to fix one thing or the other. In my doc's words, my body seems to be not running faster as my mind does and heart wants....and hence the conflict.


After my happy return home to Chennai, at the end of 2011, I made a resolution (rather a stupid one) to keep doing as much as I can- work, family, hobbies, travel, social work, poetry, blogging, making new friends, finding old and missing one’s, not to miss any social events- be it a marriage, new born, engagement or even attending funerals. Of course, travelling and working like a log glued to the cushion forever, and becoming a Big Strong Couch Potato was as well in my unwritten agenda. I have brought back the family to run on the tracks of the Indian Roads - thanks to the visa screw up...none to be blamed than me! And ugh...the poor daughter-dad duo had no choice but to cling on to my boggy of doggy-woozy aspirations.

People, who knew me well, knew me this way all through my life...but at sometime, I peeped into the bathroom in silence and looked at the mirror in dismay. Oh No! It’s not me anymore. I am aging....Common, give me a break- Aging! Yeah may be in thoughts and mind! Its not me any more truly and that's the main reason for my health issues.

I always have this problem- with the train of thoughts and a rare phenomenon called 'what next?' phobia. I have not heeded to the warning signs of my husband to slow down and kept running madly every day- Work is inevitable....taking care of family is responsibility....running behind my child on her studies, manners and managing her Teen Tantrums is a Parental duty....with all this, I wanted to do something else every day.

Learning kept my mind active...Madly certifications became passion. Poetry is in blood and it spring's out at the most unexpected times....however,...I joined few groups in Chennai......Social Service to Orphanages and Old age homes.....I very much loved doing it....Conservation and Nature care....tree plantations, temple clean ups, trekking, running, cycling, helping Marathons, Trailtons, and every event in the city.... I was enjoying my life and was there!

As we were gearing up for the old friends meet as part of the 75 Years of our school this year, and getting in touch with old friends some after 2 decades of missing...there came a shocker. Losing a friend to a car accident was devastating. Attending her ceremony was an emotionally hard and physically draining. I collapsed. Docs gave list of names to the unknown friend who invaded my life since last one month....hands cried in pain of injections and body felt like running away to an unknown territory where there is no pain, sleeplessness and thoughts. When you get closer to death and regain your life...your perception of life changes. I started to think what would happen to my family in case I am gone... a very natural thought that too when you get really ill and critical.

After a weeks of completely glued to my bed, with my policeman and his assistant keeping a close watch on me 24*7, I got my space. The moment my husband went to work after 3 weeks of bearing with my groaning and gloating, I jumped out of my bed.

I pulled out my insurance file, started checking on my financials, nominations, planning to write a will, keep all contacts listed in my diary, and wanted to keep an Envelope with the title 'In case of my death!'.

'In case of my death'- wanted this envelope to contain, what my family should do in case of my eventuality....later only I realized, what damn it is going to be for me after I am gone and why the hell they should be guided by what I wanted them to do! - Selfish Indian Mentality!

I wanted to write about the details of how my funeral should be, who all should attend, my bank account details, my friends and relatives details, do's and don't list to my family, all other things I kept feeling important to me as I pass away - Again- what if I was gone suddenly in an accident. Should we not be organized and live life like every day is a last day in life in this present unpleasant world of uncertainties. Again a negative way of looking at life!

Then, came a pang of wisdom. what should my family do with the 30 odd diaries I scribbled for most of my years and poems, books, paintings, clothes...and I now felt that envelope would not be enough...Probably I need a folder!

Folder will have sections- on what my daughter should aspire to become as per her wishes, my dreams about her marriage... my plans for my husband , donation of my eyes and organs,...sharing of my assets with my preferred NGOs and how my family should react when I am gone...and all this.......Is it not Madness!

Though everyone should plan their rites of passage....as Kalpana Mohan writes in India currents.... there is no way one can plan life after its gone! Its outside your Internal Line of Control- Things would change, circumstances and reactions would as well change...people and their thoughts of life would change...so what is that you are trying to manage after you are gone as well!

Instead, I can realign my world, happy that I got another chance to be alive and greet the world again with a smile. Take it slow but steadily do what gives me happiness... Concentrate on my priorities, manage my schedules better... keep important people in life in tact than knowing about 1000 friends on Facebook who are just acquaintances and not really friends.....keep life on a positive note and teach family to survive in your absence than to make them controlled after you are gone! - Crazy Woman- It’s me!

First take care of family, job, close friends and above all - Health. Do what all possible to keep you active both physically and mentally - take on walking , reading good books, listening to music, eating proper home made simple food on time, stopping junk eating and sodas... go for regular health check ups and follow prescriptions religiously , do meditation and stay grounded than flying with the plane of thoughts- a promotion from the train of thoughts I always had from my childhood....Probably this wisdom dawned on me lately- thankfully never too late!

Yes, I know now- Life is not just wrapping it up in an envelope- It is the way you take it- The way you live life to the fullest- not necessarily King -Size but surely peacefully, healthy and happy life is all in your hands

Thanks to this gyan of enlightenment that started with the thought of my Envelope!

Thanks- A Poem dedicated to my dear friend

This poem was originally written in Telugu and was a tribute to my dear friend Srujana whom we missed in a freaky car accident a month ago.  Her death was as devastating as possible and her memories are as glorious as we could cherish.  Her family published the poem titled ' Krutagnathalu' means thanks in Telugu and I made a simple effort to translate the same in English ......

Thanks

Thanks to the five cosmic elements of Nature;  Water, Wind, Fire, Earth & Sky

Thanks to the entire creation, and thanks to the creator

Thanks to the parents, thanks to our teachers,

Thanks to the thought of expressing thanks,  within me, a big thanks

Thanks to those who troubled me and whom I troubled,

Thanks to the forgiveness that was taught

Thanks to the ignorance

For creating the thirst for knowledge

Thanks to the failures,

For teaching the lessons of success

Thanks to the problems in life

For giving strength to finding right solutions

Thanks to the loneliness and lackness

For being the reason to be strong and together

Thanks to the every thanks

For letting me appreciate the greatness of gratitude, life and thanks

- A Tribute to Maganti (Chava) Srujana Choudary

Life is Beautiful....... Srujana....