Amused by the newspapers and TV ads focusing on the Valentine Day special, I could not stop from pondering over the necessity of this day in our life. Is love not a daily thing? When some one mentioned that we have inherited this culture from West, I could not stop laughing. I haven't seen this craze of this day after living some years in US.
We are a culture that is so open today, that we think everything that is new and interesting is inherited from the other side of the planet. When some claim that this is a hyped marketing strategy aiming at immature teens and youth, some debate what is wrong in having a special day to celebrate love?
India from times immemorial have accepted love of all forms. The universal love of Radha-Krishna, started centuries before other cultures even emerged. Love is a very vast subject to debate and debate. To those in love, it is a blind faith, it is amazement, it is a chronic belongingness to the other person, it is a virtually oneness with the person they are in love. But for those who look from outside, it looks like silly way of celebrating love. I am not immune to these feelings, nor do I stop being in love. I am blessed with a husband who is an ardent lover, who is my best caretaker and my best friend.
So what is that I am trying to tell here?
First time lovers get carried away, infatuations dream special things on this day. Love that is cross continental, that is beyond boundaries of caste, religion and national boundaries, take this day for celebration. Love that is not accepted, that is either pushed or forced to be stopped finds all ways to express the same on this day creating pain to themselves and to those others involved in their lives. It is a universal feeling of happiness, care and belonging. Had it not been for love, there is no human race!
However, we do not need special days to celebrate this feeling of heart. The drum sounds that get louder when you hear the first ring or the first whispers of your love in your ears for the sentence with a three letter words 'I Love you' is always special. In families, where children are grown with adequate freedom, liberty for thinking, sharing of life's ups and downs and are treated as friends, these children can handle their emotions pretty well than others, who are raised in the parental boundaries of control, coercion, debates and questions of WHY phenomenon. That's when we hear stories of tragedies related to love.
Our history has given enough stories of love..where mostly men were victims...and women move on. Equally there are instances where people forget their first love and move on with life that time provides them. No one need to be blamed in this paradigm shift of thoughts. However, respecting the feelings of each other towards a goodness of minds in the long run will create happy families.
There is no age limit at when one will fall in love. Today's newspapers carried a news of a 17 year old boy falling in love with a 50 years old woman with couple of children. We have seen movies like Chinni Kum, where a young girls falls in love with a person of her father's age. The great Mumtaz Mahal married Shahjahan as his 14th wife. Honestly, love is blind. Love is pain if not handled with care. Love is a tragedy if not the feelings are let to open up and time will heal all wounds. Falling in love is not a crime. However, falling for the right person makes sense. For that we don't need a marketing strategically created Feb 14 as lovers day.
How many of us know the story of Valentine who died on this day? Did our children see him? Is he part of our history books and stories. To many of us Valentine is just a name. A name synonym to love today. Why have we forgotten our own Lord Krishna who was the best lover in our history books.
The other side of this interesting day, is many people confuse love and lust. Lot many people think that being in love is only for wanting of sex. Sex is honestly a biological need of all living mammals and is a necessity to create future generations. Our temples from ancient times did not stop showcasing statues of love making... Our country produced the epic of Kamasutra as a gift to the world of sex. However, love is feeling of heart, a togetherness of thoughts where as sheer lust is just an urge of the body. It necessarily may or may not need love in it.
But love needs compassion, warmth, friendship, sharing, caring, understanding, a genuine feelings of consideration, mutual giving and taking of things in life, balancing the oneness of the soul and it is more powerful than anything else. Stop making love and lust synonyms.
If love is universal, love is internal and love is a collaboration of two minds, hearts and life's it will emulate into a life long bonding and decent relationship. Then in that case, they don't need a special day. Those who can understand the concept of love, will respect the feeling of it and will move on.
Love will not become a tragedy if it is true and not forced by circumstances. Love will remain the same even after the other person's death. For it will not have anything to do with the physical existence. But if you cannot reach the other person through your thoughts, if you do not have the same vibrations, if you are not able to get a matching wave length, then it is not real love, it is just an infatuation that you have to leave behind and move on!
Let the love of this universe shine not just today but everyday, creating peace and harmony. Making love a strong bonding between relationships and unconditional acceptance of each other with their own imperfections and limitations. Love is not trying to be 100% perfect in a relationship, it is trying to be 100% truthful to the feeling of oneness of the soul. May all people in love have not just today, but ever lasting happy days!