It had been quite sometime, I even thought of writing in here. With many changes happening since July in life., I could just not muster energy or thought to write down or in fact muse around the most interesting aspects of my life. With a craving for change in career, I have put back a comfort zone of a corporate that gave me many things in life, financial freedom, liberty at work, travel across the globe, accolades beyond expectations, immense client value and above all a great professional satisfaction. Despite all this, I wanted to move on. The general human tendency wanting for a change. I learnt very early in life that Change is the only constant thing in this world. I moved on from HP to IBM, another corporate with the same kind of work, new people., new work time zones and something and everything that I wanted to transform ....yet, I very well knew that a IT career or the Corporate environment is just going to be the same, and it is in me that a change is very much needed. The perspectives of my thinking that need to change with time and experiences, with people and values we make in life. It was easy to be said than done. As I was going through this introspection of one's life, a internal search for an integral eternity , suddenly things changed.
A elderly person, father like Father in law, left us to heavenly abode like a flash. Everything happened in within 3 days that it just didn't digest at all. The man who was giggling at the family weddings over the weekends, fighting with us for the last scoop of ice creams like a wild little child, the person who proudly announced to everyone on each of our achievements, the man who used to run to buy cakes for his grandchildren every week end suddenly disappeared. The facts of the Vaishanvism in the family, the trust that once was managed by the ancestors, the tanjore paintings done by ancestral ladies of the family in the Perumal temple of Saidapet, everything flashed giving us a new recognistion. The stress was too much to handle both physically and mentally.
The sickness of body overtook my strength of mind, and I got hospitalized, As I was lying silently in the hospital bed and thinking again and again on what I want to make in life, I was lost. There are hundreds of things that we want to do, we want to achieve, we want to bring in a change, a meaning to someone, a difference in some one's life. Probably in our very own. Yet, we get caught in the societal norms, social obligations, financial needs, and materialistic living. The very goal of spiritual realization is pushed again to a back seat for a later day. What is that we want to make in life? A inner peace, a spiritual life, a materialistic wealth, a perfect health, a sound mind, a peaceful soul? Is it not too much to ask for? Does any one have everything that they need, or want or ask for? Only when you know the meaning of self contentment that you would realize the meaning of everything that was defined by the mind in its sublime surrender to the body and soul. The harmony between mind, body and soul is not difficult to attain. It is difficult to maintain and consistently feel its uniformity. However, the bridge between life and death, the very essence of each one of us having to cross the bridge, finish the travel in our own ways, makes meaningful lives. Each one of us are born with a purpose, a karma and a responsibility to finish that karma. And in this journey, we play the various roles that we have to enact , and then exit the way we are destined to. This is not an emotional out pour of a soul, that quite frequently searches for a real meaning of life. These are the thoughts of the individual who is often misjudged, misunderstood and mistaken. The very purpose of this self introspection is not for any one but for us to deal with our own actions and consequences. Once we realize this, we will not do any harm to any one, think no evil, do no evil and live no evil.
Sarvey jana sukinobavanthu!