Tuesday, October 25, 2016

How my life changed since I started writing/blogging?

I write because I love to scribble.   I used to scribble tiny things of life in the form that was close to my heart.  Lyrics.   I never knew they were lyrics unless once friend recognized the rhythm in the lines.  When I felt I can share my anger with no one, I knew where to go...to the back pages of my school books...that's where I first started to write.  When ever I was happy, I used to write lines that expressed my joy and happiness in the form of small jingles and poems.   Sooner this became a habit.  My solace.  My destination when I want to shut myself from the outside world.   Later, what started as a practice to rejoice within, became a passion to share with everyone.   Sooner, this practice became from no where to everywhere.

When my first few articles got published in the school magazine, especially the one that gave me the first adrenaline in life when I wrote an essay in school where I won a prize and placeholder in school magazine, my happiness knew no bounds.  That popularity was so gratifying that the gravity of those appreciations stuck my chords of writing for ever.   I wrote several poems, many of them not worthy publishing for they are my inner murmurings.  I wrote several short stories, few found readers among my friends, many of them lost over the time.   Thankfully, the habit of diary writing preserved many of my tiny poems that I used to write.   Finally I found an online portal where I can preserve them digitally and for reference going forward.  But the conversion from traditional to digital was an experience in itself.  I felt so tempted to correct them and many to write again.  But I did not want to buy in for the temptation for I wanted them to remain raw and real.  The way they were written.  It is like a kid in a bucket in the bathroom snaps where each one of us find it amusing and at the same time want to hide it from everyone as we grow old.    Not many of us would love to share such musings of life.   Despite of this consciousness, I left them remain open.  The way they were written.  In its original purest form. 

Over the years, I must have improved in the way I wrote things.  From the mere jottings in the diaries to the form of simple amateur poems, I started to things twice before I wrote.   From Poetry.com to Poem hunter, and the subsequent recognition I started getting for what I wrote personally made me become a conscious writer for some years.  But that did not remain constant.  My urge to be what I am overtook the way I wrote for the outside world.  I write for myself and others as well. But what I write for myself is more meaningful, real and its a 'me' thing.    Whenever I forced myself to write for someone and put in my conscious efforts, I struggled to give the best piece of work.  But when I enjoy writing what is close to my heart, I didn't care of the outcomes and what mattered to me the most is the joy of writing.    During the award ceremony in 2005 when I got the 'Star in Focus' award in ABN AMRO, that people asked me about my blog.   Till that day, I did not have a thought about having one.  My diaries meant the writing world to me.   It was in 2008, I started my  blog.  For couple of days,  I kept thinking about the name for my blog.  Later, I decided I am going to write on my own name.   It is not about who will like it.  It is about how close I feel my relationship with my blog.  

Today after 8 years, when I look back at my blog, I find it is interesting, multi-focused, and to my own happiness.   I got thousands of readers and hundreds of posts and poems written in my blog.  I crossed 500 posts and several thousands of readers and 48 wonderful followers.   The statistics just make it meaningful in its own way.   I am recognized as a writer, a poet and a blogger.   That recognition is no less wonderful than to the one I received in the school nearly 30 years ago.   The spirit of blogging keeps me going.  I made friends and fans on the way.  I also received wonderful worst criticisms as comments and I accepted both in good faith.   If I don't appreciate my critics, I am not going in the right direction.   I want both positive and negative feedback to understand my shortcomings and success as a writer or a blogger.   

My blog opened me up largely to the outer world.  My friends appreciated and few closed one's warned me to stop being a open book.  But as long as my life inspires someone, I don't have an issue.   As long as I don't hurt someone close in life, don't write anything insulting or hurting anyone's sentiments and as long as I keep touching lives of people around, I will write.  I wrote my dreams, I expressed my anger,  I shared my fears,  I shared my happiness and successes,  overcome failures, and my blog became my destination to unwind myself.    It helped me understand myself and my own world.   My small world, my family and my life.   Blogging became my solace, my happiness and my destination when I want to fret and make a hue and cry.   I will not be able to quit this sooner or later, for this is a strong addiction.   A cool addiction.  A Happy One.   Thank you for reading this!

This blog post is written as an entry for the 'The Chennai Bloggers Club'  Anniversary contest partner with www.sweek.com   #Sweek.com  #Chennaibloggersclub #CBCContests  #UmasreeRaghunath

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