Grand Mother - Our Angel God Mother

Date:  7 April 2014..

Grand Mother -  Our Angel God Mother

Light and happy, she was a ordinary fragile woman

Just like her sharp eyes, her thoughts did resonance

Her words were gentle and soft, just like her usual self

She walked with elegance, truly like a born princess

Made us good food, eat right and sleep on time

Hugging each other, in her warmth and tight

She made us do our regular morning prayers

Brought God as an important part of our lives

Virtues of goodness, and wisdom of sharp thoughts

Deeds of care and service to fellow men was taught

She showed us the paths, bolder and brighter to take

Always advised us to stay calm, truthful and never fake

Made us laugh at silly jokes and feel the stars above

Taught us tougher lesson in the simplest ways in love

Shared with us the stories from history and freedom fights

Bed time stories were full of velour and morals nights

We were let to play till we felt truly tired

And with good food and good thoughts to retire

Every day with her injected in us new values

And as we grew under her shade, unveiled ourselves true

Amazingly bold woman with the softer outlook

She was child to children and a story of wisdom

She never lectured us on how to live right

But just made us follow her in peaceful way

We grew up watching her tolerance and love

Her care and passion, her devotion and dedication

Yes, she is one and only Grandmother,

Our God sent Angel and dearest God Mother!

Mountains! Faith Moves Mountains! A Poem in love with mountains

Day 5 @ NaPoWriMo- 5 April 2014

Mountains!  Faith Moves Mountains!

Oh..the breeze of the whispering winds

In the silent swaying of the trees and leaves

Amidst the forest thickening of the greens

With the wild beasts roaring behind the trees

There stood this gigantic breath taking mountains

Filled with white dew drops of snow and ice

And winds gushing at the top like a wild breeze

Amidst the slides of the mountains creeps

Run slowly the smaller waterfalls towards earth

The sounds of the flowing waters raising alarms

Of the current and the power of the wishing wells

Mountains raise high and above the man’s shoulders

Showing its power and dreadfully witty might

It houses the wildest flora and wickedest fauna

The floating clouds on the top of the hills

Whispering silent kisses to the silent peaks

Showing with rainfalls towards the forest hills

The fresh smell of the earth emerge in knolls

Can there be a better time to be on top of them

Looking down the fearsome spread of greens

And the whispering winds of wildness and calm

Making the human hearts jump in fear and mystery

Climbing up the steepest mountain hills

Shows the man’s ability to conquer a bit of himself

It’s not the conquest of the nature to be willed

But raising above his own fears and limits

Mountains, teach you what is pain, what is terrine

They give you the best being part of Mother Nature

Mountains adored to the highest peaks

Conquering the beauty and unending silent peace!

Faith as strong as the mountains

makes heart melt and seasons unfold in grace!

A Visit to Golden Temple- Amritsar. A journey of faith unfolded

Date: 4 April 2014 - Day 4 @ NaPoWriMo 2014

A Visit to Golden Temple- Amritsar.   A journey of faith unfolded

Vahu Guru,  Oh Harminder Sahib…Tributes to you

Walking along the scenic beauty of the honey pond

The temple of God opens up on all four sides to enter

Mixture of Muslim and Hindu architecture makes you wonder

A new spiritual freedom unfolded in its way

As we walk towards the Sri Darbar Sahib temple to pray

Its not just for the Sikhs from all over the world

But for any human being who wants peace and calmness

In life, can truly be there to endear the tolerance and peace

Sikhism is not just another faith, but a way of life

No caste, no creed, no sex or no religion comes on its way

The gates of god are open for all in unity and blissful bay

Heart felt harmony in the air, drink the waters from the pond

And wash away the sins of life in the fragrant waters of the wells

You feel, a new you, a truly calmer and a faithfully blessed

The past, the fears, the gun sounds and operations are now gone

What remains in the air, is a calmer and peaceful temple of God

There can be no reminiscences of the past reflecting on its walls

For Vahu Guru, makes you feel more related to future than its past

As we bow down in prayers, the songs that echo in the air around

The food, the water, the people, the children all in unison

Leaves you no traces of tyranny of the past that played

Its cruel war in this place of worship and in front of temple of God

As they moved on, it teaches you a unique story from the past

That no matter what, faith builds you strong and let you at peace

Leave the past behind the dirty sheds, and learn to move on

Vahu Guru, Oh Harminder Sahib…Tributes to you

Vahu Guru, Oh Sri Darbar Sahib, We truly bow to you

Bless us with good health and peace, and calmness

Take us in the righteous paths of oneness and love!

Vahu Guru, Oh Harminder Sahib…Tributes to you

Vahu Guru, Oh Sri Darbar Sahib, We truly bow to you

Ganges- A perennial river. A pious river of spiritual quest

Date: 3 April 2014  Day 3- NaPoWriMo 2014

Ganges-  A perennial river.  A pious river of spiritual quest

 Oh Mother Ganges…a lovely green showers

On earth flowing from the Serene Shiva’s head

Green like her perennial flows to bless the lands

Life becomes solved, bowing down to you

Oh Mother Ganges, you flow amidst the mighty

Himalayan and dense forests...bringing in a love

Of the waters, skies and lands all in one place

Creating a beautiful warmth amidst the cold waters

Oh Mother Ganges, your tributaries’ makes us pay tributes

To our forefathers, sitting quietly at your Ghats

There is no end to the beliefs we have in your love

For you give us life, give us faith and give us blessings

Oh Mother Ganges, you are source of life

As a sacred Lord Shiva’s endearing wife

You show us paths to take and those not to

Making us realize what is right and what is not

Oh Mother Ganges, you are not just another river

But the flow of our thoughts and all kind of deeds

You show us what life is and what death is

In its truest forms and all visible ways in your arms

Oh Mother Ganges,  we bow to you in reverence

We shed our tears and let the pasts go along your flow

We hug you tight and expect life to change for good

You show us light and let us go in the paths set right

Oh Mother Ganges, in your eternal existence of life

We are blessed to savor your warmth and love

Benefits in the form of health and blessings for wealth

You make our life’s truly blessed. Thank you Mother Ganges!

A beauty called Taj- A Poetry on Taj Mahal – Symbol of Love!

Date: 2 April 2014- Day 2 NaPoWriMo

A beauty called Taj-  A Poetry on Taj Mahal – Symbol of Love!

The gates to Taj opened up a splendor

Grandeur in white marble all over

Walking ahead of the red stones walls

A moon light on earth witnessed a fall

The radiance of the symmetrical walls

Symbolizing the depths of a love

It’s not just another tomb stones to visit

But a mesmerizing visual treat

The carvings that speak wonders of art

Creative skills that adored the walls

The four pillars of the Taj look like

Giant soldiers standing in guard

Eyes were not just enough to admire

Ornaments of flowers and plants adore

Amidst the waters of Yamuna flowing

Behind the northern walls of Taj

Truly said as a symbol of Shah’s love

For his endearing wife Mumtaz…Wah Taj

Buried for the third and final time

Her remains with his lay hidden inside

The walls of the tomb stones that can be seen

Quran inscribed all over the outer walls

Make you feel bowing down for a Namaz

Mystically closed chambers in the Taj

Make you ponder on the creation for a while

As you walk across the 17 hectares miles

You will feel a sense of echoing love

She may not be just one queen of Shah
But for sure, she had a special place

22 long years of construction marvel

With 20,000 plus workers adored

The steps to Taj smell of the sweat

And blood of the workers who built it

It’s not just a epitome for Mumtaz

But a creative wonder in stone for all

Which ever way you see Taj, it reflects

The same image of symmetrical walls

It is a sure architectural wonder

Amidst the feeling of love it blinders

Poetry in stone, written for ever

With its beauty, charm and love

Its man’s pride in his creation

Love is one of the essences in passion

Truly a symbol of eternal love

Of a man and woman that stays on

Times may come and men may go

Taj will stand with its beauty for ever

Reminding generations to come

That Love is alone the winning bond

Between human hearts and minds uniting

Love can just not build mausoleums

Its leaves behind engineering marvels

Love is not just in the life living together

It is also in resting in final sleep altogether!

My Nation- My Pride- A Visit to Wagah Border- First Poem of the National Poetry Writing Month- April 2014

Date: 1 April 2014

My Nation- My Pride

Holding our flag in my hand

The feeling of being in her lap

My motherland, my nation

Tears rolled down in respect and love

Taking the first step towards her

Waving the tri-color in pride

As the Jawans stood around to guide

There is no beginning or end 

To the feelings of patriotism found

Dancing to the tunes of Jai Ho!

Men and Women swayed in happiness

A Free India, A freedom cherished

That makes life more eternal, surreal

Where else can you feel this pride?

Than at the moment to hold the flag

A salute to the soldiers enduring

The wrath of climates and enemies

Protecting our Nation from all tyrants

Smiling as they guard us day and night

Leaving behind families and friends 

Yes, the feelings that unfolded at Wagah

Border parade as flags got exchanged

A tribute to the friendship and tolerance

Religion is just a way to reach one God

Nation is the very lap of love of our existence

Salute and Love to my Nation- My Pride

May god bless all soldiers who guide!

Impact of Tasmac Shops on Women’s life in Tamil Nadu

‘Wine hath drowned more men than the sea’- Said Thomas Fuller. 

Today on every small gullible street, we find a caged shop doing brisk business all through the day.  A Festive look is wore on all special days …the huge parking of bikes, smoking chicken stalls outside, the hawkers selling cigarettes and eatables, pickle packets and fried peanuts.  This scene is so common in Tamil Nadu around every Tasmac Shop.  Common are also the sights of men, dressed half naked lying on the streets around,  women shouting and grumbling outside the bars and hotels attached to the Tasmac shops and children searching for their drunken fathers in their usual visited shops. 

This creates a huge havoc in the society and the normal lives of many families.  Women are prone to domestic violence, financial upheavals and all forms of abuse.  Men lose not only their senses, money and employment, but also the love and care of the families.  It is not just men, but also women who are becoming vulnerable to this environment and become silent buyers at these shops.  Tasmac shops which are a huge source of revenue to state government fail to close due to various political and economic considerations in our society.  Women are both directly and indirectly impacted as the financial strain on the families is high and the burden of keeping the kitchen fires burning falls on them entirely. Education and moral upbringing of children becomes a mammoth challenge.

Unfortunately the existence of Tasmac shops impact the lower income groups to a greater extent.  Women struggle to keep their sons and men out of the reach of liquor which destroys the happiness and normal existence of families.  And the death associated to illicit liquor also impact women more than men, as the chances of widow-hood and abuse is more, which virtually sinks them in the society. Given the slightest chance of this habit, men of all kinds, be it a husband, son, son-in-law or a brother don’t hesitate to get into a Tasmac shop next street.  Be it day or night, it doesn’t make them a difference.  This creates a major block in relationships and broken marriages. 

The increasing health related issues due to regular drinking also creates a burden on women due to inflated medical costs.   All these result in suicides and panic amongst women and children.   Youth are spoilt and in-disciplined due to the drinking habit and easy availability of liquor in local Tasmac shops.  They also tend to steal money from their own homes and also lose on the quality time that need to be spent on education and colleges.  Their concentration and health is at stake thus causing more worries to the mothers.   Forcing such youth into the marital system only creates more domestic issues to handle, abuses that get unfolded and violence that creeps into the system.   More stories of drunken driving, accidents and murders, violence and rapes have become the norm of the society today.   The easy availability of cheap liquor affects not only the life and health of the individual but the whole family and the society at large. 

In the long run, both men and women tend to forget their social and economic status and go into more deeper poverty situations as they are not able to control their lives on this spending, related health hazards, impact on the children and their education and women failing to manage their men to resist from visiting the nearest Tasmac shops every other day.  The consequences are largely forgotten and misunderstood.  People who are habituated to drinking and spending time in Tasmac shops/bars think that it creates camaraderie, companionship and makes them free from all troubles of life.  What they fail to understand is that there is again another day where they have to face life.  Women tend to feel the burden of this attitude more then men.   Hard working laborers find this as a temporary solution from all their aches and issues. 

Unfortunately, when these shops and its selling through out the day is legalized for the narrow way of revenue generation to the government, people think that there is no wrong in continuing visiting these shops regularly.  There is no relief in sight for the women from the low income groups at least in the near future.  The biggest challenge is to keep themselves away from the shops, getting victimized to the circumstances of abuse by the people who are regular visitors to the Tasmac shops and also to keep their focus in creating financial stability of their families.  

What ever may be the circumstances, women need to focus on education of their children, create awareness of good and moral values in the families, monitor their men and caring; keep the cards open for them to understand the impact.   Expecting the politically gained government to do good for us is like pushing the mountains to move.  The least we can do is to cleanse the system by ourselves in the smallest ways possible within our line of control.  Women need to be more strong and at the same time show love and affection without losing patience and tolerance till they are able to bring in change in the families for good.  

The figures are so alarming that Tamil Nadu stands first in the Country in terms of volume of sales in Tasmac shops.  Though the government claims that the increase in Tasmac shops has resulted in the less number of illicit liquor consumption deaths, black marketing and undue pricing of liquor in the markets, it is no where a sign of a better society.   People drinking while driving is a significant menace.

Public disturbance in residential areas due to the availability of liquor in the Tasmac shops is a common compliant in every police station these days.  Especially elder women living alone are subjected to abuse, robbery and murders by the drunken evils.  Even in the most silent of the city locations, you can find street fights and men dragging women who question the liquor habit of the husbands.   We also see the rise of selling of the domestic ware, things and certificates by men to raise money to buy liquor. This puts the women to most traumatic conditions as the men fail to find jobs and lose senses in the long run.

None of these women have the strength to fight the odds in the society.  Neither do they have the financial strength nor the physical energy to control the men nor have normal lives.  Women silently suffer day in day out tolerating all forms of violence and withdrawal.   There are many mothers who go in search of their sons on the roads once the day slips into the nights and men don’t return home on time.  There are many wives who are forced to sell their mangalsutras to feed their children in the absence of their husbands sharing the responsibilities and spending hours in the Tasmac shops.   Increasing number of shops near to schools and colleges is also becoming a continuous nuisance as parents are struggling to keep their children away from this damaging habit.

We as a society should empower women and create a need for woman by a man and not be woman who wants a man to run their lives.  This paradigm shift will make the men realize how important is for them to hold on to their lives and not lose it at the counters of the Tasmac shops.  

After every night of cries, we have to arise fresh and show our smiles to this world.  Instead, we have to stop the cries every night.  Women need to be change agents by themselves. Control and monitor the habits of their children and men.  Only then we can protect our own breed.  Every problem will have a solution and it is in the women of Tamil Nadu to realize their potential and work hard towards a Tasmac/ Liquor free society.  Men will do wrong and Women need to emerge strong from every situation of this kind.  Road side protests, hunger strikes and suicides will not bring solutions.  The existence of evil is for ever in the society in one form or the other.  Including the existing of Tasmac’s next door.  How we fight it and make the life the way we like it, is all in our hands.  Be positive, stay focused and go forward is the only mantra for women of all strata’s of the society to move towards better life.  TASMAC shops are just another issue that we women in Tamil Nadu can for sure handle and erase from the society once we stand united in this cause, create an awareness of the menace and become real fighters. 

“Life knocked me down several times, it showed me things I never wanted to see.  I experience sadness and pain along with failures.  But one thing for sure, I always got up!”

Yes, be a strong woman.  Fight for the cause of cleansing the system and Tasmac Shops issue that can be slowly but surely kicked out of our system in the long run

“Empower and Educate Women.  Eradicate Liquor”.

“Why did I behave unlike my actual self?” - Another story from Paru Tales- ‘Within the four walls” Series- Paru’s introspection of her own self post an unfortunate situation

I was wheeled out of the ICU.  I could hardly see and there were tubes connected into my mouth and an irritating catheter.  Thankfully some one just removed the one that bled me to horror from my nose and I felt finally breathing.  I don’t remember the last 8 hours of my life and was terribly weak.  I could see curious and pained faces of people around me.  I felt like lifting my hand and asking some one to hold it as a comfort.  But I don’t know these people around me or probably I am not able to remember who they are.

 ‘Paru, Paru,  Can you hear me?’  Some new voice was shouting at me.  I could see him bending close and looking at my face.  I was in deep pain.  My body seems to be floating in the sea. There are voices all around.  I could hear some body crying and some one screaming.   I closed my eyes tightly.   The man who was shouting my name pinched my arm.  I opened my eyes in anger.   But could do nothing and closed them again, this time with tears flowing silently from my closed eyes.  I did not dare to open them again for a while.   I slowly slipped into a deep sleep.

The next morning some one woke me up.   I slowly opened my eyes and saw out of the window.  The day is at its peak.  It must be already noon.  I could see my friend sitting next to me, holding my hand in hers.  ‘ Paru, how are you feeling now?’…she asked.  I could just nod my head indicating that I am ok.  My husband came to my side and started to pamper my forehead and he looked very distressed.   I was trying to recollect what happened to me and why am I in the place where I am.

After some time, a nurse carrying medicines and injections came to my side.  I understood that I was just out of the emergency revivification.   I quietly obeyed her as she instructed me to raise my arms and then show my hands for blood samples and all that.  I could not muster courage to speak as there were tubes still connected to my mouth. 

But my thoughts started to rewind to that Sunday evening that caused havoc and turbulence in my life.

The relationships mostly strain due to issues related to finances and justice denied over property dealings.  My case was not immune to this common phenomenon.  The biggest tragedy is that I am neither a party to it nor a beneficiary for the same.  I have been fighting for ages for the benefit of my extended family.  People instigated me to fight for it.  My husband or my children never provoked me to do so, but some thing inside me took the slightest external triggers that pushed me out of my own self when ever this issue rose in the past.  This situation is no different.  When it happens, the usual person in me is lost.  

It is very easy to go back a decade without any discomfort of doing so.  The haunting memories and struggles of the initial days fail to disappear.  The moments of happiness that was buried in entangles of reality pushed me to a sense of loss and hap hazardous thoughts.   These thoughts are not of mine.  They are created and pushed on me by someone who could not do things by themselves.  I was victimized many times in the past being an emotional human being I am.  I always felt that it is my duty to fight for justice and this is the exact feeling that pushed me to situations that further let me drain emotionally.

After several hours of discussion and negotiations, there arrived a no common understanding between the people who are important to me in life.  What I actually failed to understand then was that no one is important to you than your own self. If your own self is not in existence, then every thing materialistic around you is of no matter to you.  It all becomes irrelevant and useless.   If you fail to understand and celebrate the life as it is, then there is no meaning on how much ever you try to make it when you are normal.  The actual personality is seen only when the circumstances are not in favor of you.  This is the exact lesson that I failed to realize before I took that drastic step to end my life.  Yes, I was foolish. It needed lot of courage to take that step that could have wiped me from existence.   Yet, when I took that decision, I did not understand any of these.  I was just not myself.  

That evening, when things were not going in our favor, I behaved like an eccentric.  I pushed people; I started to throw things around and was shouting in frustration.  I remember being calm and listening to the larger part of the discussion.  But as people started to behave in a sarcastic way and mocking at my self esteem, I could not tolerate any more.  The closest of people in life behaved with high levels of selfishness and greed.  Probably, this pushed me to feel jealous and become intolerant.  Anger knew no bounds.  I was angry at myself for having pushed to this situation.  I was uncontrollable and wanted an exit from that place.  But something strongly made me sit there and watch people enjoying my different me. 

After an hour, a sense of loss filled my head.  I remember stopping to think- forget it being positive or negative thoughts.  There was nothing. What was rushing in my head was a strong sense of rage and atrocity.  This dancing of anger made me slap an elderly person.  For a minute the entire room went in silence.  In a split second, I realized what I did.  I did not hesitate to apologize immediately.  However, this provoked a volcanic anger in everyone around.  Suddenly I became an abuser from being a victim.  I was looked upon as the worst person besides the bad people I was fighting against.  The actual I died in that minute.  What I did is wrong and it didn’t take me long to get that understanding.  No amount of justification will compensate for what I did.  Years of suppressed agony, repeated victimization and continuous raw abuse in all forms that never showed up in face to others suddenly took over my conscience, consciousness and reality. 

There is no point in defending and I felt deserted in a situation that I could have fused it before it exploded by just leaving that damn place where I was not comfortable from the beginning.  I listened to external influences than listening to my inner self and my genuine thinking.  That is where I went wrong.  The loss is not just the relations around, but my goodness.  The cost I paid for the day is huge.  Even if others forgive me, I could not forgive myself and the repentances were so strong that I decided to end my life.    Instead of clearing the darkest cloud, I pushed myself further into a thunder storm.  This time abusing my own body beyond what it can take.  I can blame no one other than myself.  Where did the conscious and most respected Paru disappear in that moment?   Where my original soft self went hiding?  What happened to my respect for elders and gratitude for those who made my life what it is?    Was it not the worst of situations that made me strong in the past?  Is it not the toughest of circumstances that made me handle any kind of crisis all these years?   How could I change now?  It this a change in me?  or another hidden personality that is unable to shed away from my body and mind.  Am I deceiving myself as a good person, when the actual inner self is a most jealous and annoyed person?  

‘Paru, Paru…..what are you doing?’  It’s time for office.   I suddenly got up from my chair and looked at the wall clock that was fasting ticking away as my husband shouted at me as he was searching for his car keys.  I could hear him calling me from the hall, ‘ Paru, what happened to you?  Sleeping in the morning, after sending children to school?.  Are you alright or do you need to see the doctor?  

I contained myself quickly.  On My Goodness!  What a fanatic dream!  That too early in the morning dozing off in chair after finishing cooking and packing children off to school!

 “Wait!-  I replied to my husband.  ‘Do not leave, I will be ready in 10 minutes and you can drop me on the way’.    He came near me and gave a hug and said his usual silent one word- ok.   .  That OK always had hundred meanings.  A confirmation that he is there for me at all times.  A reassurance, that I am a happy wife as well as a caring mother.  Support system that always makes me manages things both at home and work.

I acted fast and quickly rushed to the car, with a heavy sigh of relief that it was just a dream-  a bad dream!.   ‘Paru- Relax’ I heard my man whispering into my ears as I buckled up in the car and leaned on his shoulders.  This time I don’t mind falling asleep!