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| The Fall of My Autumn Leaf! |
Neither prejudiced by the past, nor in the fear of the future, the moment, and just live the moment!!!
Friday, January 14, 2011
The fall of my Autumn Leaf!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Love my Jigzaw puzzle - Traditional Chattel House, Barbodos
| Traditional Chattel House, Barbodos- Puzzle fixed by Uma! |
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Tribute to my Dad...
So what is special of this person? His specialty is that even after close to 2 decades of his passing away, his presence is felt in the lives of his children every day. His dreams don’t let us rest in peace, and keep us haunting to aspire more and more in life. He taught us what all fathers do and something different too…both in his life and death. His life taught us to be kind, loving, smiling, dreaming and aspiring, playing wonders with words and writing poetry to rekindle our imagination and thoughts, playing shuttle and participating in every damn thing that is competitive in this world, and sometimes win it brightly or smile when we fail and aim again!
In his death, we learnt much more stronger lessons of life. Tolerance, Managing Poverty, that meager resources are never a cause to aspire big, to fight out any odd situations, balance work and personal lives, securing our children’s financial futures, and the need to take care of health, with better lifestyles, and our faith in God and his wonders.
It was on 9th January 1992,Thursday, a chilly winter morning in a then a town, called Eluru in West Godavari District of Andhra Pradesh, that changed our lives forever. The memories of that day and the following haunts me like no other incident in life. The was the first taste of tragedy to three minor girls whose lives was hitherto happy, crispy and smiles filled. Within a hour from the time, he woke me up at 5 am saying that he was having acute pain on his left side of the body, everything was over. I rushed to the family doctor just 4 houses away and pulled him out of sleep to attend on my dad. He said that his cardiac readings are low and we need to rush him to a closeby hospital which has an ECG machine. With help of my neighbor and my best friend, we rushed him to Dr Y. Jagan Mohan Reddy. I can never forgive this doc in my life for the way he handled the situation. May be he was aware that its of no use doing anything further, he said that we have to move him to Vijayawada for getting a Cardiac special treatment. He could have tried to revive or try CPR and keep him stable for a while till his condition stabilized or deteriorated instead, he made me take back my dad home and make travel plans to Vijayawada which was like 60 miles from home. By the time, I was handling all this, I didn’t realize time is running out!. My younger sister was just 11 and sleeping. My grandmom was 65 and crying. I was the only one who could help. I put up a bold face and just don’t know from where the courage came in. Guess what, he asked me to get a paper and pen at 5.40 am and started writing a leave letter to his office….and while doing so in just a matter of 3-4 minutes, the pen fell down from his hand. By then Rajana and his mom, our neighbours rushed. Aunty was working as RN in local government hospital and she checked his pulse and told me to inform relatives including my mom who was then in Chennai with my elder sister……it was close to 5.50 am…I didn’t want to give up. Within seconds, me and Rajana took him a Rickshaw trying to take him back to Dr Jagan again…. With in 5 mins, as we were crossing the temples of Lord Ayyappa and Durga Ma, his head fell on my hands….sending shivers in me for the first time in life. It was 5.55 am, Rajana hugged me tightly. I saw the sun raising in the East above the temples. I know of a sun-set in my hands….
That day I know how much a proper medical care is yet to reach our Rural India. The need for good hospital, sensible doctors and proper medical care is still missing in many towns and villages of India, there by leaving helpless families succumb to unforeseen situations.
Even after I saw his head lying silently in my hands, we rushed him to Dr Jagan’s hospital again. He declared his death. By then few of our neighbours and dad’s collegues reached the hospital. We took a jeep and brought his lifeless body back home. I looked blank. I did not cry. Jai was still sleeping. My grandmom fainted. I just asked Rajana’s mom to take care of her..and then took my dad’s dairy and made the first call to Chennai..informing the worst news I could deliver. The morning left behind a full family of ladies grieving and helpless and futures so very uncertain!. Then, I called my dad’s boss and told him to arrange for some ice as I know it will be a day by the time my family reaches Eluru from Chennai. There were no much of ice boxes like of today in that town then. I took his dairy and rode on Rajana’s cycle to the near by post office…to send the telegrams to a list of my relatives that my dad kept the contacts list in his dairy… The man at counter looked at me with bewilderment. Probably, it was the day, I first broke the glass ceiling in life not even knowing of such a term then. Just because, what was so far expected a man’s domain of handling affairs started to slowly and steadily getting unfolded with me handling the situation. I got back home, stood bravely next to him for long 8 hours, taking politely all the condolences and grieving around....and my first set of relatives arrived. My dad’s sister and family and my uncle..the only male relative in the family at that time. I still stood there without crying. My dad’s office, and neighbours really helped so much… doing everything possible. After few hours, my elder sister and mom arrived with another set of relatives. I hugged my sister tightly and told her that lets sit and watch him whole night for we may never get to see him again after the dawn. She kept crying and I kept staring. Today I really wonder, how did I display such a remorse and unshaken courage? I just don’t know.
Haunting Images of Jan 10th..More Painful!
As the day unfolded and sun rose again…the pain continued. First time, the discussion of who would do the last rites aroused. People were discussing this at my ear’s length. I already know the answer and it was the time to just tell them and stop them guessing. It was my dad’s last words that gave me the direction and courage…that I should take care of my family and do everything for them. Yes, I stood by it. It was his wish I do and it includes with my first responsibility. I was just a young girl in her tenth standard…just 15 years old and shaken. But why the hell that should stop me from my responsibilities. I called my dad’s best friend aside and told him that it was his last wish that I will do his last rites. He did not get shocked for he knew his friend so much. My dad always brought us up with such a care that we can manage our things..and me more like a boy. But my declaration drew a much bigger debate ., that, are girls allowed to cremate , does the religion allow, is it right or wrong, can someone else do with just me watching or being at home after giving the ghee lit sticks and so on.
That was the first taste of gender awareness to me in life. Do we women need to think being aware on those lines? It was not the day for debate. Seeing my anger and pain, my uncle came to rescue. He said that, let Uma do what her dad wished, I will stand by her and help her to carry on the rituals. In the Hindu community, in that town, I didn’t realize it would be a news for long time. Even remembered till this day. Rest of my relatives also did not debate for all of them know that they cannot stay back for more than 2 weeks just in case they take up the responsibility. As everything got arranged, my sister started to yell at peak saying don’t bath my dad in cold water, he never liked it. I was thinking to what extent we go blank in those kind of tragedies. My kid sister stood silently and crying not realizing the bigger impacts of the day in our lives. I don t think people let my mom and grandmom grieve in private and it was so chaotic. I hardly spoke to anyone. Rajana forced me to a cup of milk before I went for the cold water shower. There was an unexpected courage, a sense of new blood flowing all over me, and I came and sat with the pandit and my men folk. As the time came and the palanquin to carry him on his final journey got ready, I could hear cries to the loudest. My dad was just in his forties and well admired in the town. I took the pot with the smoking coal and ghee sticks and walked in front of the crowd with my dad’s cousins all around. It was most traumatizing moments years later remembering that day. I walked through the burial ground, saw my dad for the last time on the pyre and lit the fire with a deep calmness. They forced me not to look back and walk away…but after few steps I quickly turned back and saw the fire raging over his body. That fire is stopped in my eyes forever! I don’t like watching these scenes in movies or attending funerals after that. I go and see people when they are well, they are ailing or when I know they are going to be gone soon…but mostly avoid watching the last journeys unless it is very important to attend.
From that day Death to me is nothing and the only thing ..the only end to every human being. No matter, how rich or poor, how big or small, how good or bad, how healthy or not, this end is inevitable. So worrying about it is not worthy of it. It is important that we make our lives worthwhile while we are still alive. It is worthy to have helped at least few people who would remember us after we are gone.
When did I cry then and how did I overcame it?
It was on Friday late evening I was sitting on the table at the opposite grocery store and staring at the skies. Lot of people went back to their homes. Rajana came and kept talking to me all about daddy. I shouted at him to stop. He said, if you cry, I will stop. I said, I am not getting tears. I am ok. He said, it is wrong sign not to cry at that situation. I smiled back at him saying I am really fine. His mom came and spoke to me saying that I can atleast talk to her. She brought to me few greetings that my dad gave to their family on every Christmas. She spoke on each year Christmas and cried thinking that would influence me to cry. I looked at her for being funny. After having proper dinner in the last two days, I went to bed early. The next morning, at 6 am, Rajana came home and asked me to come out with him. He said, I will take you to pampula cheruvu ( A close by man made lake with lots of taps). I said ok, and told my grand mom not to search for me. He rode me straight to the cremation ground. I shouted on this that he is playing tricks on me early in the morning. He dragged me to the place where we cremated my dad the previous day. He showed a heap of ashes and said, ‘this is your dad,. He is dead and gone. You better realize that. You are acting as if nothing had happened in your life. He is no more, he is not going to take you on his scooter, he is not going to play with you anymore, he is not going to help you in school work. He is dead!’. He made me touch those ashes….I became silent. I kept staring at those ashes for many minutes before I ran back to the cycle and sitting there on the ground. I hid my face in my lap and cried. Cried aloud. Cried till I realized the fact. Cried and Cried. First time the fear of being in a graveyard engulfed on me. First time, I felt back like a little girl after close to 3 days of my dad’s passing away. I felt much better after that incident. I thanked Rajana for being sensible and even today when we speak, we recall the way things unfolded and how slowly I started behaving normal like two of my sisters. At times, the man in me arises….but most often the woman in me remains intact after that day. After few years, when I was describing this to a doctor friend, I remember her telling me that I would have been depressed and suicidical for long many year had it not been the way, the reality dawned on me. For it is not easy to be unnatural for long. It is better to be natural always. Now where is the question of glass ceiling, gender bias and all that feminist scrap. It is good to be out there natural, emotional and the way god made us to be. Same time situations like this teach us not be vulnerable, to be strong and brave.. to be tolerant and sensible., to be focused and move on!
Close to 20 years…Today, it all remains as memories..both good and painful. Teaching us lot of things that no books or studies taught us. Tragedies happen. Dreams get destroyed halfway through. But yet, we should learn to Move On! You can never give up in life no matter what., overcome tragedies, rebuild dream and reconstructing lives is more important. My grand mom went ahead to live with my aunt for the rest of her life till she passed away in 2003…and my mom bravely fought real odds till she shaped our destinies in a different way. My dad dreamt of making us Engineer, Lawyer and a doctor in the order we were born…nothing happened as he dreamt. But well, I guess we made something in our lives for which he would definitely be proud of where ever he is ! If not anything bigger, at least as good human beings and being sensible wives, caring mothers and daughters and above all as professionals, poets and writers.
Today we celerbated the birthday our first son Ajay in the family, whose birthday falls on Jan 11th...and we know....we have moved on with grace, pride and happiness as his daughter till holding his fondest memories intact for ever!
May god let my dad rest in peace! And his dreams continue within our thoughts and actions! Love you Dad and Miss you too!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Benefits of Writing Sri Rama Jayam
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Benefits of a PMP Certification
Benefits
of a PMP Certification
Ø PMP is one of the best
professional credential in the field of Project Management. PMP certification
has grown in prominence over the last decade and has become a sought-after
credential, according to the Project Management Institute or PMI.
Ø
The
Project Management Guidelines, Methodologies, tools and techniques, and the
entire framework of 9 knowledge areas, 5 process groups, and the entire 42
processes provide you with a more holistic view of project management,
enriching your knowledge.
Ø
Just
by attending a PMP Exam Prep coaching seminar and studying for the exam will
make you a better project manager – as you will learn beyond what you need for
your day to day project management.
Ø
Increased
Earnings: The average salary for project management professionals in the USA is
$101,505, according to the PMI Project Management Salary Survey-Fourth Edition.
Managers who hold the PMP certification also often make more money than
non-certified project managers. This is true for over 23 countries I have
visited… for conducting PMP Exam Preparation workshops.
Ø
Growth
in Career Prospects: The PMP certification program maintains ISO 9001 and other
accreditations like the 17024 accreditation. This internationally recognized
accreditation is recognized by the global business community and often leads to
better career opportunities to someone who is PMP certified.
Ø
Attain
your PMP certification, and add value to your CV. You can show to prospective employers how
serious you are for your career.
Ø
Enhance
Your Marketability: The PMP certification enhances your professional
marketability in the field of Project Management. Future employers will often
choose individuals with a PMP certification over other non-qualified project
managers, because of the reduced risk the PMP certification affords the
employers.
Ø
The
PMP certification also helps to bolster resumes by legitimatizing the included
experiences of a project manager.
Ø
Improved
Project Management Skills: You must undergo rigorous preparation to get your
PMP Certification. This process includes
a significant amount of coursework ( 35 hours minimum) and study to qualify for
and pass the PMP exam. Project managers often experience improved skills and
knowledge while preparing to sit for the PMP exam based on the hours of
coursework and study.
Ø
Apart
from being a credential, while studying for the exam, you learn that there are
other, better ways to managing projects, which are different than what you
practice in your day to day project management.
Ø
Professional
Validation of Your Experience & Competence: The PMP certification offers
validation for professional accomplishments. PMI certifies that an individual
has achieved the necessary years of experience and knowledge in order to be
granted PMP status.
Ø
Thus,
having the certification is a quick way to enter new countries, new markets,
and new industries, because you’re basic qualifications, and your expertise and
competence in the field of project management is established already.
Ø
The
benefits of PMP Certification are immense! Not only will you become a more
complete person, you will become a better project manager. Do not delay! Go
ahead and get your PMP Certification quickly.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Missing Childhood!
अब तक मैं जिम्मेदारियों के लिए कंधे के लिए है
नहीं करने के लिए पालना या रोने का समय
और न ही वहाँ है किसी भी समय खेलने के लिए
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Da Rain, Da Heart! Poetry Chain continues.....
Touch my heart with all its rejoicing train
As the kids watch from the opposite window
wanting to get out and get drenched
The kid in me awakes to a new streams of joy
letting the adult pride die in and life to enjoy
Da Rain, Da Heart, in abundance
The winds blossoming in the tennace
The shrill cries of the ambulances on freeway
hints me someone in danger and pain
I look at the rain, with fervent thought
to take with it the needed help and care caught
There again, the silences adore me
letting me just to listen to the sounds of rain
The little droplets that I hold in my hand
I know they are sending me shivers as magical wand
Some moments they look like sky's blessings
other moments, they are heavy like a girl's tears
Yet, my heart, do not want to calibrate to pains
as my carnival of rejoice, with the rain, regains
As the noon slowly slips into the dust of twilight
Its nice to see the neighbours Christmas lights
I know I have thoughts to cherish and live in pride
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Why Self-Appraisals are conducted in Organizations?
Every December is a time when every employee expects to be recognized, appreciated, duly rewarded both monetarily and emotionally as part of the team, corporate, organization, workplace and lot more. The swing between job hopping and loyalty is there in any organization and industry. Some matured Performance Appraisal Processes include the first step as Self-Appraisal.Now the question arises on, Is Self-Appraisals necessary? Because no individual will ever portray themselves as Not Competent, or Not Professional enough for recognition.
The second major questions is, Do the Self-Appraised Information really taken into consideration during the final evaluation of the performance by the Manager/ HR and the Organization? 90% of the answers would an implicit NO, though 90% would not dare to acknowledge it explicitly. Then why this process?
I as a professional see top 4 reasons why Self-Appraisal becomes important and vital in one's evaluation cycle/ process/ progress or what ever you may call
1. It is a process to have "Supporting DATA". Statistics on how many hours I worked, how many project hours I executed, how many successes or failures on Variances in terms of Cost, Scope and Time have I achieved, how many blue flags/ appreciations I have received from clients? , How many Red flags or Escalations I was reason for., How many people I mentored, how many trainings I attended, How much did I do my tasks successfully on a day to day basis and what impact did I have on the teams I worked. What value additions did I bring in to the Company. This is one way of tracking the whole year of work. Keeping data accurately, if subjected to Audit, will have references either in personal repository or a share point.
Valid information in terms of accurate data makes not just employees life easy, but those of Managers too.
2. Accountability: You are accountable for the tasks entrusted to you...How much ever trivial they may be to the Organization, they would still be a large portion of your individual performance.
3. Yardstick ..This may show as similar to Supporting Data...But one big difference is in the first one you have a the required statistics to support your judgement of your performance. In this factor, your manager will have required information to support your growth in comparison to your colleagues in the most competitive and logistically controlled environment. Here the yardstick, is how was your were important and unique when compared to others... The proof of a point that you deserve the best have to stand out.
4. Self Understanding, Satisfaction and Sustainability....I am very much fond of this point no 4. To me where I stand in my own terms of assessment is more important than what my managers assess me. Basically, this gives me required motivations, a inner satisfaction of job well done, fruitfully balanced my time between professional aspirations and personal commitments, and this motivates me to train myself more on the areas I identify as growth possible, and share expertise in the areas where I proved extraordinary. To me this is within the line of control.....irrespective of the ratings/bonus/appraisals made within the 'Out of Control' parameters which are influenced by lot of other factors than my own performance. My manager's limitations, Organizations overall profits and budget allocations, peer pressure, competition, customer feedback and so many 360 degree views are surely not in my control...but my performance is well within my boundaries and I can make it 100%.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
10 Tips on Information Security- As a Responsibility
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| Information Security Is Everyone's Responsibility |
Friday, December 3, 2010
Opening Meandering .....Written for Dr.Rudhran
As I was reading through Dr.Rudhran's post in his blog on the same title of this post, I could not stop from adding a comment, reflecting his thoughts in my words as a Poet.... I thought it deserves a place in my blog too.... as I admire the artist in the psychiatrist who is difficult to understand by ordinary intellect....Dear Friend, here are few lines for you!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
An Evening with Salman Rushdie in LA discussing his new book..Luka and the Fire of Life
| Uma with Reza Aslan |




